Categories > Original > Drama0 Reviews
My preview of my story I hope I can someday finish, not sure about the rating since it involves death...
Maria Sanchez had never really thought about how she was going to die, but if she had had the time to think about it, she would have chosen to die in her bed at the ripe old age of 89 surrounded by fat grandchildren and grumpy in-laws. She wouldn’t have chosen to die of cancer at the age of 26 with only one small baby boy and a husband who would give her the world. She wouldn’t have wanted to have to endure the chemo and the pain and the slow wasting away she would rather have gone silently in her sleep. But here she was at the age of 26 in the hospital, dying of lung cancer, all alone in the ward for the patients with no hope.
Last night had been fitful and her sleep uneasy, she had lain for most of the night in pain, and finally drifted off around 3 am, the rain pounding hard against her window. The morning however was sunny, contrary to the weather reports, she noticed. She also noticed she felt better than she had in a long, long time. She barely felt much of anything just…peaceful. Which was when she realized she must be dreaming. And if it was a dream, it was a good one, she felt good enough to move around again; and why not? It was her dream after all. Slowly, she pushed herself out of bed to stand on her own two feet; she could even feel her heavy brown hair fall around her shoulders, her own hair! This was really the best dream she’d had in ages. The white light of the window behind her grew brighter and brighter as she dared venture forward on her own two feet. Breathing in, she was halfway across the room, halfway to the door and already outside in the sunlight in her mind.
At the doorway she paused once more to look on the peaceful bed where she knew she was really only laying and sleeping in. A bright light shone through the window, brighter than any natural light she had ever seen. Slowly, and certainly of its own accord, a thought entered into her mind, what if she was dead? What if it wasn’t her sleeping body waiting for her on the bed, but her lifeless body waiting for her to pass on, and that light was the light? She took one hesitating step back towards it. Out of the light, almost shimmering into view stepped a figure. Maria stepped back.
“An angel…” She barely whispered beneath her breath. He had long raven hair that fell down over his shoulders and pale skin, like the moon shining in the night. With deep blue eyes that spoke of love and loss and longing and mistakes hidden so deep in the oceans of his eyes that no one would ever find them. He seemed young, around 18-23, though she knew he was probably so much older than that, and almost too beautiful to be a man. He smiled a pretty, though very sad smile at her small exclamation.
“Maybe if things had been different...” His soft musical voice, barely heard, floated through the air, like falling snow, to her ears. “Maria-”
“I’m dead… Aren’t I?” She asked sadly, her voice heavy with regret.
“Yes, I’m very sorry-”
“And you’ve come to take me away to heaven.” She had never been very religious but to know that God still loved her and cared enough to send an angel to bring her to heaven made her feel calm and at peace.
“Uh, yes.” He began. But stopped suddenly, looking down at the ground as though reprimanded by a voice she couldn’t hear. An even brighter light began to glow from the window behind him, a light so bright it made the angels light seem tainted.
Once again a figure appeared in the bright light, this one larger but also very handsome. Blond curled hair fell barely to his neck and his tan skin made his own light blue eyes seem to glow with their own inner warmth. His presence was warming and the light that emanated from him seemed good and pure and cast the other’s light in shadow showing it to be darker and even black in a few spots.
“Gabriel…” The raven haired man murmured.
“Seere” The man named Gabriel barely acknowledged him, pushing past he turned a kind eye on Maria. “Maria” He said; his tone very fond.
“I was here first.” Seere said quietly, head still bowed and turned slightly away.
“Hmm, are we going to have to play poker for her soul now?” Gabriel’s eyes never left her face. Seere flushed slightly. “I didn’t know you were so childish.” Gabriel continued, earning a deeper flush from Seere, but he refused to rise to the provocation.
“Are you an angel too?” Maria asked hesitantly.
“I am an angel.” Gabriel smiled and a feeling of relief washed over Maria. “He” Gabriel tilted his head slightly towards Seere, “is not.” Maria now looked at Seere; his light was darker now as though his soul had admitted defeat.
“Then,” she asked, “What is he?”
“A demon.” Seere spoke softly once more, almost spitting the words out of his mouth, as though he hated their taste.
“Not only that, a Prince of demons. And I am an archangel.” Gabriel embellished. Maria wondering vaguely how an archangel and a demon prince would know each other as well as these two seemed to, but she had bigger thoughts running through her head. An archangel had come to take her soul to heaven! She felt rather special, she may not have really followed religion but even she knew of archangels. And a demon prince as well, maybe her life, or rather her death would really mean something.
“Gabriel…” Seere cut in, his voice a little sharper now.
“Maria, come with me.” Gabriel ignored him, and extended his hand to Maria, offering her all the peace and promises of joy she ever could have asked for. Enthralled, Maria stepped forward, beginning to reach her hand out towards the archangel’s.
“Technically her soul is mine.” Seere avoided eye contact as Gabriel turned to face him.
“You had your chance.” Gabriel gently took Maria’s hand in his own, warmth flooded through her body from her hand where he touched it.
“I didn’t mean to, I just-I…just” Seere’s smooth voice broke and he stopped abruptly.
“I’m sorry.” Gabriel brought Maria closer to his body and she could feel the light emanating from him begin to envelop her with it’s warmth.
“I still…” Seere said quietly as Gabriel and Maria began to glow and disappear into the light. Gabriel’s calm look spoke volumes, he already knew what Seere was trying to say. And with a brighter flash of light quickly growing and dimming again, they were gone. “Love…” He couldn’t finish the sentence. Left alone in the quickly darkening hospital room with his loneliness, Seere faced his shame with his quivering chin held high.
Well I hope you liked it, I would appreciate any feedback since I was actually thinking if it turns out good, I'll publish it. So please review!!