Gerard won't allow himself to sleep at night. Why? This could possibly turn into Frerard later on.
A/N: I wrote this to clear some things in my head. Its very early in the morning so I warn you, this isn't my best work at all. I don't particularly like this, but I'll continue it and see how it goes.
I glanced at the red neon digits of my alarm clock and signed heavily.
Only seven more hours of freedom left.
Only seven more hours until I'm unable to escape.
Only seven more hours until I break down.
Only seven more hours until... School.
I reached across my clock and grasped the cool metal of a flask.
I opened it slowly, scared to spill even a drop of the coffee that was helping me remain calm, and took a sip of the hot liquid.
Six hours and forty three minutes...and counting.
By the way I was talking, you'd think I was getting sent to prison or something wouldn't you?
Well, in my opinion school was a prison. A place where people are forced to go against their will.
A place where you spend day upon day with people who make your life a misery. A place where the worst memories in life are created.
And I'm a prisoner.
The dictionary definition of a prisoner is "a person held captive." Yeah, that sounds about right.
I know what you're thinking. No one likes school; that's what my mom tells me, that's what my brother tells me, that's what my very few friends tell me.
There's something different about the way I dislike school though...something deeper and more direct than the loathing that others have.
The night is going to quickly for my liking. I really should be asleep...but how can I sleep knowning that in six hours and thirty one minutes the school bell will ring, signalling the start of another day from hell?
The cruel and taunting comments will begin and the feeling of being powerless will set in.
No, I will not sleep at all tonight. I need to prepare myself for it. That's why I stocked up on coffee and comic books; I need to last the whole night. Maybe I can lengthen the time until I need to leave by staying awake?
'What's the worst that will happen Gerard?'
That's what they all ask. Parents, teachers and counselors. They expect me to agree with them; that nothing bad will happen to me. I know differently though. I know what its really like. They don't. Maybe if they did then I wouldn't be forced upon the grey building...with it's bleak outlook on life.
I try and take my mind off the dreaded place by drinking some more coffee and reading about Spiderman's adventures in the comic books. It doesn't work. My mind drifts back to visions of the white corridors, painted as if it were a mental institution.
Who am I kidding? It is a mental institution. It's got to be the worst school in the whole of Newark, maybe even New Jersey, maybe even the United States.
Crawling with lowlifes and gang members. People with no chance of a future. People who don't even want a future.
A slight tapping at my door stirs me from my thoughts.
A tired looking Mikey pops his head around the door. His hair is standing on end and his eyes are blinking sleep away continuously behind his glasses. It would be almost comical if he didn't look so serious.
'What is it Mikes?' I asked inquiringly.
He eyed up my coffee and the multiple comics that were sprawled across my bed before he answered.
'You're still awake...' he said sheepishly.
'Wow, nothing gets past you Mikey, does it?' I snapped.
I didn't have time for a silly conversation with my younger brother.
I had bigger things to worry about.
'It won't be that bad Gee...' he said softly, not at all put off by the way I'd spoken to him. He was used to it I presume.
'What won't be that bad?' I said, trying to appear as if school was the last thing on my mind.
'Yes Gerard. School. It will be fine. You only have another two weeks until exam leave starts for you. You can do it. You don't have to be scared.'
'What makes you think I'm scared?' I exhaled loudly. 'I'm perfectly fine'
'I just thought that-'
'Yeah well you thought wrong didn't you?'
'-that you should get some sleep'
'I'm fine Mikey. Now if you please,' I signaled in the direction of his room with my hand. 'Go away,'
Without another word he left and I heard the soft pad of his feet along the corridor and the creak of his bed as he lay back down on it. I felt bad for being so snappy with him. I hated to appear weak to anyone, especially my brother.
But what had annoyed me most was the fact that he'd got it spot on.
Was I that obvious?
I looked at the clock once more.
Wow, time flies when your having fun doesn't it?
Before long the night had been replaced by the break of dawn. Light gradually appeared through the curtains, illuminating the room and one by one, the birds awoke and started singing mournful tunes. Almost as if they knew what lay ahead and were giving a word of warning.
Even though I'd been awake all night, I still was not ready for school. I was still dreading what was to come and I knew by experience that these feelings were an accurate reflection of how I expected the day to go.
I trembled as I packed my school bag and checked my appearance in the vanity mirror.
I had large bags under my eyes and my white skin was even paler than usual.
My shoulder-length black hair was everywhere and would not be tamed no matter what I did with it.
I was a walking target just for that.
Not to mention the tight black jeans that I managed to squeeze myself into everyday along with the band t-shirts. When I looked as good as I would get, I ambled downstairs and into the small kitchen where my mom was busy making breakfast.
'Gerard darling, would you like some toast?' she said practically waving the slices in front of me.
I refused politely saying that I would grab something on the way.
She seemed content with my answer as she started fussing over a groggy looking Mikey who had appeared in the doorway.
'Michael! You look extremely tired darling!' she exclaimed loudly.
I quickly muttered my goodbyes and without another word I walked towards the front door, closing it behind me as I left, and stood on the sidewalk to wait for the school bus.
It was not until it shot right past me that I realized it had arrived.
The gleeful looks of the students aboard told me that this day was going to be no different from the rest.
With one final sigh, I slowly started to make my way towards the school, cursing under my breath as I thought about the hassle I would get from my registration teacher when I finally showed face.
It was going to be one hell of a day.