Whoah, didn't expect to update this quick. You all should love me more now xD.
Frank’s mother was sitting on the couch when he got home. She had obviously been up all night; the bags under her eyes said it all.
“FRANK!” she cried, pulling him into a tight hug. “Where have you been? Your father and I have been worried sick about you!”
“Um… sorry, mom. We got home really late from the movies last night, and Gerard offered to let me stay over at his house. I was gonna call you, but when we got back to his house, we were knocked out, so I forgot to. Sorry.”
“Okay, just… remember to call me next time!” she said, breathing a sigh of relief. “I was just about to file a missing persons report… Are you okay, honey? You look like something’s bothering you…”
“Um… yeah… there is…” Frank stammered, his stomach churning. He knew about hangovers, he just didn’t realize how sick it made him feel.
Oh, and the fact that he kissed a boy. Twice.
And… liked it?
“M-my stomach. It must’ve been something I ate at Gerard’s…” Just as soon as those words left his throat, his stomach contracted hard, and he raced to the bathroom. He made it, luckily.
When his stomach finally gave out, he flushed the toilet and wiped his mouth with a piece of toilet paper. His mother stood on her knees beside him. “Frank, you should go upstairs and lay down, okay? I’ll bring you some soup.” Frank got up off the floor and walked up the stairs, climbing into his bed. He sat, staring at the ceiling, trying to remember last night. Well, he remembered going to a party… Bert handed him a drink… he remembered drinking it… then it all goes blank.
… Then he remembered the end of the night, vividly, becoming more and more sober. He remembered someone carrying him through the quiet Jersey streets… Then he remembered… Gerard? Falling asleep with his arm around his waist…
Then his mind flashed back to the kiss. Not the one from the night before… the second one. It kept replaying in his mind, play, stop, rewind, play… and he kept yearning for another one each time. He remembered how it made him feel… it made him feel… warm inside. As cliché as it sounds. And it felt… real. Like Gerard meant it. Not like all the other girl’s he’d dated in the past, the fake, plastic, beach blonde girls of California, who were only ever looking for a bit of fun. And it made him feel scared. Scared because he was sinning. Scared because he couldn’t be gay. His friends, pastor, and even Religious Education teacher all told him that no Homosexual would get into Heaven. It was inhumane, and he was meant to be straight. He liked girls. Girls, girls, girls, GIRLS!!!
But he wasn’t so sure anymore.
He then heard a knock on the door, breaking him from his thoughts. His mother opened the door and walked in, a bowl of soup in hand. She sat at the foot of his bed and Frank sat up, putting the bowl in his lap. Frank’s mother stared at him intently for a moment. “Frankie…” she muttered. “Are you okay?”
Frank sighed. “No, mom. I’m not okay.”
“Well, honey, what is it?” Mrs. Iero asked concerned. “You know you can tell me anything…” Frank shook his head. “No, mom.” He admitted. “I can’t talk to you about this.” Frank’s mother cupped her hand over his. “Frank… what is it?”
Frank took a deep breath, then, not looking his mother in the eye, just came out with it. “Mom… what would you do if I told you I was gay?”
Mrs. Iero sat in silence for a moment. “Um… well, uh…” she stammered. Frank shook his head and handed the bowl back to his mother. “I’m not hungry anymore,” he said coldly. “And sorry I asked.”
“Frank… you’re not… uh…” Mrs. Iero waved off the word, and continued. “You know…. Are you?”
Frank stared at the pink wall, unable to face his mother. Yes. he thought, his eyes glazing over a bit. He felt ashamed. Ashamed, and scared of telling his mother yes. Afraid of what she’d do. The thought of being kicked out scared the shit out of him.
“No, mom.” He said, blinking back the tears and locking eyes with his mother. “No, mom. I’m… I’m not… that, okay? I was just wondering.”
His mother stood up, looking her son up and down for a moment. “Okay, sweetie.” She said finally, picking up the bowl and walking towards Frank’s bedroom door. “Get some rest, then…” Frank rubbed his eyes and snuggled under his covers, covering his head, hoping he’d suffocate under there so he wouldn’t have to replay the reason in his head why he’s such a disappointment to his parents. Because he was gay. Or bisexual. Whatever the fuck he was, it wasn’t okay.