Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Dead Roomate
Can you touch dead people?
6 reviews“Can I… touch you?” I asked, “Hold on, I have only known you for like a day” he said sarcastically shocked,
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Dead Roomate
(#) Fantasy_Fairy 2009-05-09
Someone's obviously read the Mediator series by Meg Cabot.
Niec adaption anyway.Dead Roomate
(#) GayFace 2009-05-09
Ha ha, clever! It's preety awesome and I had writters block, so sue me... literally :P Well it's got Gee in it! :DDead Roomate
(#) Julianne 2009-05-09
True, that.
Same thing - you need more commas.
Also, when did Mercedes suddenly develop 'feelings' for Gerard?
"...Even though deep down I had feelings for him, doesn’t mean I should be nice to him..."
There's a difference between finding an individual attractive and actually caring about him or her.
And watch where you do put commas. At the end of that quote, there was a comma rather than a period. Perhaps try proofreading. :) And beware run-on sentences. Those particularly tend to show up in your material.
But your content's good, so I'm not complaining too much.
By the way, you may already know, but Gerard was actually... well, not as good-looking as he is today, to be polite, back in his younger years. So that kind of messes with your accuracy, but what the heck, that's why it's fan fiction.Dead Roomate
(#) GayFace 2009-05-10
I'm trying hard to edit, trust but FicWad is screwing it up and everytime it takes me back to the front page instead of changing it :(Dead Roomate
(#) GayFace 2009-05-10
BTW I've always been told to put commas instead of a full-stop if the speech/convosation isn't finished.
What are run-on sentences?Dead Roomate
(#) disturbedangel6 2009-05-10
This is great, I likey it a lot
Its cute how gerard is cheeky haha
And I kinda agree with Julianne, since when did she like him?
I mean, yea you can have the hots for someone but dont you think its a bit early for that?
Anywho, update soonxx
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