Categories > Anime/Manga > Inuyasha > Deathwish


by Tsukashi 5 Reviews

How will Inu Yasha deal with the loss of someone he loved so dearly? IY/Kag Oneshot Angst/WAFF

Category: Inuyasha - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance - Characters: Inuyasha, Kagome - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2006/03/31 - Updated: 2006/04/01 - 2377 words - Complete


  • Deathwish

    (#) Ithilwen 2006-03-31 06:47:05 PM


    Really slow start on this one. You do not do such a hot job of setting your scene. The readers already know that Jaken simpers for Sesshou and that Yash chopped off Sesshou's arm. You could cut the first five or six paragraphs with no detriment to the story.

    If I were you I'd focus more on the way the characters were feeling. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru fight a lot. What precipitated this particular fight? What makes today different?

    Author\'s Response: My first review on this site! Thank you. You give some good advice which makes sense and I appreciate and value that.
  • Deathwish

    (#) InuKag 2006-04-10 05:30:23 PM

    Ithilwen has some good points, but overall the middle/end did get to me.. the begining is slow and there isnt much of any real... um...momentum or reason to the fight with sess. but i did like it. alot actually.. i am quite embarassed about now though. i cried a bit in class.. ahhaha

    nice job. it takes a lot sometimes to get me to cry. great story.

    Author's response

    Thank you! I think the most important part about writing is connecting with the reader on an emotional level. I am glad to know that this story did that. I don't know if I will get around to reworking this story, but if I do, I will definately work on the beginning of it. Thanks for the review!
  • Deathwish

    (#) InuKag 2006-04-10 05:31:13 PM

    kind of reminds me of "over" by lindsay lohan.. haha its the only song by her that i like.. and i think it kind of fits ha. sorry.. i just thought i would add that

    Author's response

    I don't know that song, I will have to check it out.
  • Deathwish

    (#) InuKag 2006-05-19 11:50:48 AM

    Loves it absolutely

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