Harry gets a little revenge with the help of some friends.
She had dashed off to the library with a quick, “I’ve got an idea.”, and she was gone before he could get in a word edge wise.
Harry was more concerned with something else right now anyway. He had been quietly watching the comings and goings of certain individuals into meal times for the past week. It was time to exact a little payback for all of the pain that they caused Hermione with their spiteful remarks. He didn’t really mind what they said about him anymore. It had stopped bothering him ages ago, something that he really did have Dumbledore to thank for teaching him.
There was a flash of a green trimmed cloak entering the Great Hall and Harry turned his gaze to see who it was. According to his calculations, it should have been Malfoy and his little entourage.
A small, satisfied, smirk graced Harry’s face as he watched the group sit down at the Slytherin table for lunch. He flicked his eyes to the rafters where he knew that Dobby was watching and nodded once.
Dobby was watching his master, waiting for the signal. When it came, he almost fell off the rafter because he was so happy. A gift that was so enormous that he could not even describe it. The great Harry Potter was offering him a chance at revenge for years of mistreatment at the hands of the Malfoy heir.
With a faint pop, Dobby reappeared in the kitchens. He had enlisted the help of the kitchen elves for the first stage of the plan.
If anyone would have come into the kitchen at that moment, they would have been frightened silly. The sight of a house elf cackling madly and rubbing his hands together was very disturbing.
Dobby had learned a lot about the non-magical world from the Grangers. The best thing that they introduced him to was something that they called television. While watching something called an infomercial, he discovered something that would be a great help to his master in his plans to avenge the mistreatment of Mistress Mione.
The rest of the elves were busy mixing in an odorless, tasteless, product into all of the beverages for select individuals that were currently in the Great Hall for lunch. It had been surprising easy for Dobby and Winky to coerce the rest of the Hogwarts elves to help them in their endeavor. All that they had to do was tell them that what they were doing would help Harry Potter and the rest of the elves readily agreed to the plan.
It turned out that the majority of the people on the list were not very nice to the house elves of Hogwarts. So in a way they were getting a bit of revenge too.
The polyethylene glycol solution was easily obtainable in the non-magical world. When Dobby told Mr. Granger what the solution was for his only response was “How much do you need?” The look on Mr. Granger’s face was simply terrifying and Dobby was glad that his ire was not focused upon him.
Dobby had procured enough solution, with Mr. Granger’s help, for complete bowel irrigations for over thirty people. He wanted to have a little extra in case a repeat lesson was necessary.
The housekeeping elves were busy making sure that there were no bog rolls in any of the student loos in the castle. The staff areas had a full stock so that no teacher would be aware of the student body’s dilemma.
They laundry elves were thrilled at the prospect of getting more work in the near future. They just weren’t busy enough during the day and this would definitely keep them busy.
Hermione was in the library when Winky popped in and said “Hello Miss. This is for your bag today.” she said while putting a brand new bog roll into her bag.
She had given up trying to figure out why their elves did some of the things that they did because there was always a good reason for their actions. Their uncanny ability to anticipate the needs of their family was simply amazing. Pushing the thought from her mind, she said to Winky “Thank you Winky. Have a pleasant afternoon.”
Winky curtsied and vanished with a small pop. She reappeared next to Dobby in the kitchens and told him that she had completed her task. She had also delivered similar rolls to the tiniest Weasley and the Longbottom boy on her master’s instruction.
Preparations complete, all the elves had to do now was to wait for the extra work to start rolling in. They were so happy that they were going to be busy later that day.
Harry finished his meal in silence and made his way up towards the library. When he sat down next to Hermione, she unconsciously reached over and patted Harry’s thigh. He successfully fought down his urge to flinch but he noticed that it was getting better.
He was really trying hard to get over that aspect of his childhood. The Dursleys' never touched him in anything but anger so his reactions to being touched were very abnormal. Hermione’s parents had sent along a few books with Winky with instructions for the two teens to read them.
Harry had been a bit embarrassed when he saw the books about child abuse and its effects on people. He was desperately trying to overcome the obstacles of his upbringing and he was truly thankful for their assistance. Remus and Sirius had not been much help on that front. The Wizarding world just did not have the resources dedicated to that branch of medicine.
Hermione felt Harry tense for just a split second before he relaxed under her delicate, but unexpected, touch. She smiled to herself and continued with her research. She had narrowed the noise in the egg down to something to do with the water. She thought that the noise was from something that lived in the lake or spent the majority of it’s time in the water. What she did not know was what the task was going to be.
She turned to Harry and said, “I think that I have a basic idea of what the noise from the egg is. I guess that we will have to hear it later to get any more information. I think that Cedric wants you to open it underwater in the bath.”
Harry smiled at Hermione. “You’re really brilliant you know? I’m still trying to figure out what an egg and water have to do with each other and here you are figuring out the basics of the second task without hearing the clue yet.” He said with a smile in his voice as he leaned over to look at what she was reading.
Hermione tilted the book so Harry could see the page that she was reading. “Here, I think that these are the most likely things that you will encounter in the lake. I need to go look up something else, be back in a tick.”
Harry pulled the book to him as Hermione got up and disappeared amongst the shelves, looking for another book. The chapter heading was ‘Creatures found in the Great Lake.’
Shrugging his shoulders, Harry began reading. He got about five pages into the chapter when he realized what book he was reading. It was ‘Hogwarts, a History.’ He and Ron had jokingly made a vow during their first year that they would never read the book because Hermione had carried it everywhere.
When Hermione returned to the table, she looked quite satisfied with herself. The book in her hands was about mermaids and speaking Mermish. She saw that Harry was looking at the book with a half smirk, half scowl, on his face. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
Harry replied “I can’t read this, Ron and I jokingly made a vow to never read ‘Hogwarts; A History’ during our first year.”
“Why you...” Hermione started before she realized that he was having her on. “Oh, I see how it is then. I guess that I will never read ‘Quidditch; Through the Ages’ then. She said while putting her nose in the air with a look of superiority.
Harry almost laughed aloud at the thought of Hermione not reading a book. “I see, so we can just forget about you reading any of these other wonderful books too?” he said with a teasing lilt in his voice as he began to pull her stack of books towards him.
“NO!” Hermione cried while reaching out and pulling the stack back to her side of the table. Realizing that she had just lost their little game, Hermione began blushing while grinning back at him. The heat in her cheeks felt like a miniature flame.
Still chuckling, Harry pointed to the book on merpeople and said, “Can I read that with you?” Without waiting for a response, he pulled her chair next to his and leaned his head down on her shoulder.
“Okay.” Hermione replied, enjoying the feeling of contentment that came with having Harry’s head resting on her shoulder.
After about fifteen minutes of reading, Hermione realized that Harry had fallen asleep. He gave a mighty shudder and slumped onto the floor, in the throes of what appeared to be a nightmare, when she was about to wake him.
Harry gave a start as he realized that he was having another vision of Voldemort. Wormtail was on his knees in front of a large, winged back, chair. He was begging for mercy and Harry felt a sense of jubilation coming from Voldemort.
Before he could figure the feeling out, he raised his wand and lazily said “Crucio.” Peter Pettigrew was writhing on the ground, screaming in pain. Oddly enough, Harry thought that he got a flicker of a feeling of pleasure from Voldemort.
He could not see what Voldemort looked like, because he was seeing things from Voldemorts' point of view. This vision was a bit different from the one just before the Quidditch World Cup. This time he was Voldemort instead of just watching things unfold as if a bystander.
Harry was struggling to keep his wits about him as the vision continued. The shock of seeing his tiny, scaly, arm come up and cast that unforgivable shook him just enough that he was able to pay attention but not getting the feeling that he committed the acts himself.
Voldemorts’ voice issuing from his own mouth was even scarier if possible. There was no way that sound was human! His speech had a hissing quality to it.
“You are lucky that my other servant saved you from your mistake. If Crouch Sr. had been able to reach Dumbledore we would have been exposed, on the run again, and our plans ruins. Lord Voldemort is merciful. Now go and milk Nagini for my evening feeding.” Voldemort hissed in a low voice as he motioned his tiny hand towards the door.
With a start, Harry’s eyes snapped open and he began wildly looking all around him, fear plainly visible on his face.
“Shhh. You’re in the library. Can you stand?” Hermione asked, very concerned.
Harry slowly stood up and allowed himself to be led to the exit. Hermione had tucked herself under his arm so that he could lean on her if he needed to while still looking like two normal teens that were dating.
He knew that she had asked him something but her voice sounded like it was muffled by a wall of water in between them. His body was operating on instinct and allowed Hermione to lead him out of the library.
Just as the two teens turned the corner there were two pops in front of them. “What is wrong with Master Harry?” Dobby said, his voice quavering a bit, as he stepped forward to assist his mistress in getting Harry to some place quiet.
Winky was moving to help but Hermione stilled her with a command. “Wait please Winky. Can you block the portraits from seeing or following us?”
Winky looked a bit surprised at the request but her answer was a positive one. “I will see to it at once Mistress Hermione.” with a snap of her fingers all of the portraits in the hall were immobilized, and their picture frames had been draped with a black cloth.
Hermione was impressed with the tiny elf’s control of magic, but she had more important things on her mind, so she pushed those thoughts aside for the moment and concentrated on getting Harry to the Room of Requirement so that they could contact Sirius and Remus.
They were a few hallways away from the Room of Requirement when Harry finally felt normal enough to walk on his own. He kept his arm around Hermione and realized that Dobby was walking next to him in case he should stumble. His voice sounded like broken glass as he croaked out “Thank you.”
By the time they reached to entrance to the Room he was feeling completely back to normal. They entered a replica of the Gryffindor Common Room and he sat down on the couch and Hermione pulled his head into her lap and began running her hands through his hair in a soothing fashion.
“Mum used to do this for me when I had a nightmare. Are you ready to talk about it yet?” she asked him quietly.
Harry lay there with his head in her lap, enjoying her calming touch as he was going over the whole experience in his head. This was no mere nightmare; of that, he was sure. He was not going to call it a vision either. It was too connected, he was feeling some of Voldemorts’ emotions in an eerily similar way to the way he felt Hermione’s emotions.
To say that this revelation disturbed Harry would be an understatement. His shock was so great that he didn’t realize that Hermione had been talking to him again and was now looking at him in concern.
“What’s the matter Harry?” You look worse now than when you first had the vision.” Hermione asked while gently stroking his cheek.
“I think that this connection is a bit worse than we thought before.” he whispered, trying to ward off the dark feeling of foreboding that was filling him up. “I could feel his emotions and it scares me. What if I’m somehow bonded to him too?” He was close to tears by this time, his fears running rampant through his mind.
Hermione was more than a little shocked by this last revelation. Something did not add up for her though. She was remembering what Harry had mentioned about his scar when he tried to unravel the dark curse that was located there. Tentatively, and in a whisper as low as the one that he had spoken in a moment before, Hermione asked him “Do you think that your scar is acting like a connection to Voldemort somehow?”
Harry unconsciously reached up and ran a finger down his scar, tracing its contours, while he was lost in thought. Hermione had a novel idea about his scar and he was afraid that, as usual, she was spot on in her assessment.
The desperation was clear in his voice when he answered her. “Yes, I do. It is similar to our bond in ways but I think it revolves on my scar because when I get close to unraveling it there is a strong pulling sensation there before it snaps back into place. It’s like there is something holding there. It feels like it’s getting stronger too.” Harry finished in a voice that was very worried. “What do you think that it all means?” he asked her in desperation.
“I don’t know Harry but I’ll do everything that I can to figure this out. I’m sure that Remus and Sirius will help too. Perhaps we should call them now?” Hermione’s voice was firm in her conviction to help Harry face this new situation.
Hermione pulled out her mirror and handed it to Harry so he could make the call.
Taking a deep breath to steel himself, with the help of Hermione’s feelings of support pouring through their bond, Harry called out “Sirius Black.”
After a few tense seconds, the mirror activated to show the teens the smiling visage of Sirius. “Harry! What can we do for you?” After seeing the look on their faces, he quickly asked, “Are you okay?” his voice laced with concern.
“I had another vision or something from Voldemort a little while ago.” Harry said solemnly. “Only this time I was seeing things from his point of view. I was him. I could feel his emotions while he was torturing Wormtail. Is this normal?” his voice barely above a whisper as he clung tightly to Hermione’s hand, feeling unclean after being in Voldemorts’ mind.
Remus had just entered the room when he heard the concern in Sirius’s voice. He saw the mirror in Sirius’s hand and figured that he was talking to Harry or Hermione and that something was wrong. He arrived next to Sirius just as Harry launched into his explanation of what he experienced and he was more than a little disturbed.
The connection sounded like the darkest of magic and something was niggling at the back of his mind. Remus knew that he had read a book from the Black Library containing information that sounded almost identical to what Harry described.
“I have come across something similar in my readings Harry. I will start researching that right away. Hang in there and call us straight away if something like this happens again.” Remus said in a very somber tone.
Harry was still unused to this whole trusting others with his secrets thing but he was trying his hardest to move past his upbringing so he nodded in acceptance to Remus’ request.
Sirius was not happy with this revelation either. His family had delved deeply into the dark arts in the last few centuries and the connection that Harry was describing was very sinister. “Harry, there may be something that we can do in the mean time that can help you attempt to block out these visions.”
“What is it?” Harry said eagerly. He was willing to try almost anything to prevent himself from witnessing, or feeling as if he committed those atrocious acts.
“It’s a discipline called Occlumency. It allows you to block mental intrusions from Legilimency. I’m not sure if it will work on your connection but it should at least help out a bit.” Sirius said helpfully.
“Thanks. That would be great. I could use any help that you can give me with this nightmare.” Harry said honestly.
Hermione was squeezing Harry’s hand in support while he spoke with his godfather. “Perhaps I can ask my parents for some books on meditation too?”
“That’s a great idea Hermione. We were going to head over to your parent’s house to discuss some things anyway so we will make sure to fill them in and see if they have any books on meditation.” Sirius said enthusiastically. “Take care you two.”
“We will. Thanks Sirius.” The teens chorused together before signing off.
Sirius was chuckling at their eerie ability to finish sentences together. ‘One would think that they were an old married couple the way that they act sometimes’ he thought as he went up to the library to help Remus with his search and to pull those books on Occlumency and Legilimency for them.
Hermione turned to look at Harry to see how he was holding up. He seemed much better physically by the time that they got to the Room of Requirement but she was more concerned about his mental state right now. “Are you feeling better?” she asked while holding his hand.
“I am; thanks. I’m still a bit nervous about the whole connection thing but you know that already don’t you?”
“Yes, I just wanted to see if talking about it would help you. I think anyone would be more than a little nervous about having a connection to the Dark Lord.”
“It helps to talk about it but I still don’t like to. I’m getting better about it with your help though.” Harry said warmly while holding Hermione’s gaze.
Changing the subject, Hermione said “Can you tell me why Winky gave me a bog roll for my bag today just after lunch?”
Harry’s countenance changed immediately. He was trying very hard not to laugh when he thought about what should be starting in various parts of the castle in the next few minutes. “Well, I sort of instigated a prank on some people that were bothering us.” The smile on his face was in full bloom now.
Hermione found herself beginning to smile in response to the look on Harry’s face. What ever it was, she was sure that it was major. “What did you do? And why do I need this roll?” she said while waving it around in front of her.
“Well, let’s just say that it’s worth a lot of gold because of how rare it is now.” His smile had turned predatory as he thought about what people would be suffering soon.
“Okay, but what did you do?” Hermione cried in exasperation.
“Don’t hate me but I had Dobby and your dad help with this too.”
“What? My dad hates pranks!” the surprise was clear in her voice.
“Yes, well, he was actually doing this more for you than anything else. It was actually Dobby’s idea and I ran with it from there. We even got the majority of the Hogwarts house elves to help too.” Harry’s voice held a pleading note in it as he was hoping to avoid getting into trouble with Hermione.
Her voice was increasing in sharpness as she asked for the third time “What did you do?”
“Have you ever heard of a polyethylene glycol solution?” when Hermione nodded no he continued. “Well, how familiar are you with the term Complete Colon Irrigation?” the smile was plastered on his face again and the mirth was evident in his voice.
“Oh my! You didn’t?” seeing his grin become even larger she continued; “Who did you prank?”
“Well, most of the fourth year Slytherins, a few people from the other houses, Ron, the twins, Snape and Dumbledore. I’m not sure how many that we were successful with yet though.” Harry said the last bit thoughtfully.
“Harry James Potter!” Hermione half shouted.
Harry cringed at the use of his full name and the tone in her voice.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to, but thank you just the same.” Hermione said earnestly before she leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
Harry was very relieved when Hermione kissed his cheek instead of continuing to rail at him for his childish behavior. It was a mark of how much she had changed this year that she did not start berating him the minute he admitted to playing a prank on two teachers.
“When do you think it will begin happening?” she asked in a curious, yet eager, tone.
“Well,” he glanced down at his watch before continuing, “It should have started by now. Everyone is affected a bit differently according to the directions but most people can’t hold out that long.” Harry said with glee.
“Should we go then or do you want to stay here for a while?”
“I think that we should head down to the lake and just take a walk. People will see us down there as usual so that won’t be suspicious and we won’t be around when things start to go awry.”
“Okay. Let’s get going then.” She said as she stood and held her hand out to Harry.
On their way down the couple passed by the corridor leading to the Ravenclaw, dormitories and they had their first experience with the prank. Marietta Edgecombe was running up the steps towards them with a look of discomfort and beads of sweat running down her face.
Seeing an excellent opportunity, Harry stepped into her path and called out “Hello Marietta. Why are you in such a hurry? Is everything alright?”
Marietta was mortified. She was seconds from having an accident, she could feel the pressure building, and here was Harry Potter standing in front of her wanting to talk. Just as she was about to speak her colon decided that it had had enough and betrayed her wishes with a very loud wet squelching noise.
Not bothering with formalities, she gave a small shriek and dashed around them heading into the girls loo at the top of the steps. The effort putting into wrenching open the door caused another loud, and very wet, noise followed by a moan as she fought to maintain control. Her dignity was lost somewhere back in the hall and she never saw the satisfied smile on the face of The Boy Who Lived.
Continuing on their way to the main entrance Harry was humming merrily to himself. His Voldemort induced experience in the library temporarily forgotten; while he enjoyed the fruits of Dobby’s plan silently wishing that it had been Malfoy that he had spotted instead of Marietta.
When they were down by the lake, safely away from eavesdroppers, Hermione smirked and said, “That was rather enjoyable wasn’t it? Disgusting, funny even, but yet oddly satisfying.”
“Yes, it was.” Harry replied with a light laugh in his voice. “I only wish I could have seen Malfoy, Snape, or Dumbledore’s reactions to the stuff. Can you imagine the shrieking from Malfoy, ‘I spend more time grooming than Parvarti,’ when he soils himself?”
“Ooh, I would love to have seen his face too. I just hope it happened around a very large group of people. He could use a good embarrassing moment; it’s simply amazing how large his ego really is.” Hermione said wistfully as she thought of watching Draco getting embarrassed in front of the entire Great Hall.
The two teens were coming up to the area near the Durmstrang ship when they noticed someone dive into the lake from the bow of the boat.
“Is he mad? That water must be absolutely freezing!” Harry declared.
Hermione had paused to watch Viktor Krum as he pulled out his wand and did a spell before diving underwater and disappearing from sight. “I think that he knows what the task is and now he is training.” her voice held a note of concern as she watched the area where Krum had disappeared beneath the surface.
“Right, I guess that settles it then. What ever I have to do for the second task is in the lake and the egg must hold the details of the task.” Harry had paused to gaze out into the middle of the lake a look of discomfort on his face.
“What’s the matter?” Hermione asked as she came up next to him and leaned into his shoulder.
His response was low and mumbled but she was still able to hear his confession.
“I don’t know how to swim. The Dursleys never sent me to lessons.” he paused when Hermione stiffened at the mention of the Dursleys. “Can you teach me to swim in a month? I don’t fancy drowning as it would put a definite crimp in my lifestyle.”
“That will be easy.” Hermione said reassuringly. “It’s the staying underwater for a long time that worries me. Viktor is still down there and there is no way anyone can hold his or her breath for that long. We are going to have to find a spell or something for you to use too.” her voice laced with concern.
“Well, look at the bright side.” He paused when he saw her look of incredulity. “You get to learn some new stuff and see me in my swim trunks.” Harry finished cheekily as he watched the blush blossom on her cheeks.
She stood up and stepped completely into his personal space. Her lips millimeters from his ear as she spoke in a sultry tone “Are you sure you could handle the thought of me in a bikini trying to teach you to swim?”
Harry’s reaction was immediate. He went from smug to panic to eager in the span of a few seconds. While he was fighting for control of his blush, he did not notice that Hermione had slid her wand out of her forearm holder in her cloak.
With a deft flick of her wrist, she silently levitated some snow behind Harry. Grasping the snow in her free hand, she slowly slid her arm up rubbing his back as she went. “Perhaps you should cool off a bit before you get too worked up.” Hermione said as she thrust the snow down the back of his jumper.
Harry let out an entirely too girly shriek as he leapt away from Hermione and started shaking his jumper to get the snow out.
When he finished hopping around trying to remove the snow, Hermione was howling in laughter at his antics. She stopped cold when she caught the look in his eyes. Letting out her own shriek she turned and sprinted towards the castle with Harry hot on her heels and laughing the entire time.
Two soaked teens entered the castle thirty minutes later. Their cheeks flushed from frolicking in the snow and a few stolen kisses thrown in for good measure.
The house elves were busier in the middle of the day for the first time in months and they loved every minute of it. Students, and a couple of teachers, were generating dirty laundry at a prodigious pace. It was obvious that quite a few people had failed to make it to the loo before the prank too effect.
The only person on the cleaning staff that was unhappy was Argus Filch. He had the unfortunate task of cleaning up a few messes where students could not quite make it to the loo in time and were obviously too embarrassed to come back and clean up the mess, lest someone connect it to them.
It was with some small amount of pleasure when Filch caught the Malfoy boy fleeing the scene of one such mess. “You!” Filch roared. “Befouling the castle and making more work for me! I’ll teach you to a lesson you won’t soon forget boy!” he yelled at Draco, spittle flying from the edges of his mouth he was so enraged.
Draco was in quite the quandary. He knew that he was about to have another accident unless he could get to the loo quickly. The caretaker was blocking his way and shouting at him but his discomfort was so great that he didn’t register anything that Filch was shouting.
Disregarding the shouting caretaker Draco began to move towards the loo before it was too late.
“How dare you walk away from me boy!” Filch shouted as he grabbed Draco by the arm and spun him around.
The violent jerking motion caused a couple of things to happen. Draco was pulled off balance, causing him to fall into the caretaker just as he lost the little control he had and everything let loose. It was all over the two of them.
“YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE BEAST!” Filch howled as he threw Malfoy away from him. “That will be detention for a month with me, cleaning the castle without magic. Be down at my office at six tonight to begin your detention! Now get away from me before you make an even bigger mess.”
Humiliated, Draco slunk the rest of the way to the Slytherin dormitories so he could take a shower and put on some fresh clothes. He never knew that he had been pranked and that he was the only one that had been caught by a member of the staff.
By the next morning, the majority of the school would think that it Malfoy had been making the messes all over the castle. The other people that were effected by the prank were not about to come forward claim anything, especially after they found out how bad Malfoy’s punishment had been.
Harry Potter went to bed that evening very happy, thoughts of Malfoy scrubbing the castle without magic dancing in his head.