I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water from the filter in the fridge. I lent against one of the counters and downed the glass in one. I walked back over to the tap, filled my hands with icy cold water and splashed it into my face. Today had been a really long day and Bob was right I was tired but I had promised I'd go see Trace.
As my foot rested against the top step there was a knock on the bus door and I opened it quickly. Trace was wearing black skinnies that clung to his pencil thin legs and a grey t-shirt that hung if his wiry frame. “Hey, can I come up?”
“I was just gonna come find you actually. Every thing's okay, Baby's still here,” I patted my stomach, “and the doc's said I'm okay, just a little bit stressed.” He sat next to me on the couch and I pulled my legs up behind me. “How are you anyway?”
“I'm okay I guess, worried about you though.” He looked me straight into the eyes and I felt goosebumps on my arms, though I knew I wasn't cold. “I'm fine, seriously.” I laughed it off and rested a hand on Baby. “It's quite isn't it, where are the others?”
“Sound check, Bob thought he'd take Ellie.”
“You an her are really close right?”
“Yeah, really close,”
“William thought so. He can't stop talking about her though. Glad I'm not on their bus tonight.” He laughed, his face went really red and the corners of his mouth turned up in a dippy smile. “Kat, can I ask you something?” his face was solemn and he looked ashamed,
“Go for it?”
“Why did you have to come here after the, well” he motioned at my stomach,
“Bob thought it would be best for me. It meant he could look after me and that it wasn't just left on Ellie's shoulder's I guess.”
“What about him, how's he doing? Does he know about it?”
“If you mean Simon, he knows. One of the kid's at school told him. He wants to be part of its life I guess. I still love him and I'm going to need as much help as I can get so I might try going back to England. Give Bob some space You know? It's my problem not his. And Simon's apologised and I know he didn't mean it. Maybe it would be for the best. Not just for me and the Baby, but for everyone else.”
“Are you sure he's just trying to make sure you don't press charges or something? He's probably just guilty. You can't love someone if you hurt them like that.” His voice seemed broken.
“Of course you can. He was confused. He didn't mean it. He loves me.” Trace shook his head at me, “At least make sure your doing what's right for both of you. If you go back to Simon, he's only going to be there for the Baby and there's nothing to guarantee that either, what if he does it again? You'll have to protect the baby as-well as yourself, can you really manage that?”
“Of course I can.” What he was saying was making enough sense, but there wasn't anything here for me any-more. At-least in England Simon would be there to care for his own child. Here my baby wouldn't have a father. But would it? Bob was here as were Mikey, Ray and Frank. And Gerard. Maybe even Trace would be here.
“I'm going to wait till its born then I'll choose.” I smiled at him and he smiled back. “So what did they do to you at the hospital?” He asked playing with the tassel of Ray's favorite cushion. “They took some blood and did a scan. I saw my baby for the first time. It's tiny beating heart.”
“Did they give you the scans?”
“Only two, one for me and one to send home to Ellie's family. Ellie's got both though.”
“Shame, would have like to have seen your kid, see if I could see any resemblance.” He joked. “I'd better get going, sound checks soon.” He stood up and I stood beside him. He moved my arm so that it was touching my shoulder, the other cupping my face. What was he doing and why was his mouth moving closer and closer to my own? His lips touched mine for the slightest of seconds but I pulled away as quickly as I could manage under his grasp. “Bye Trace.” I opened the door and he walked out quietly. He didn't look at me as he passed just shrugged. I closed the door and turned back to the living area just as the curtain pulled close. Gerard.