- Good chapter, I want to see more about why Harry's sister would go along with an attack on muggle borns. Its got to be more than teen angst because her parents dont like her school house. Also did I miss it or have you not stated if the blast killed Bella or not?
(#) DarkLordPandus 2009-06-08 06:00:05 AMNo torgrim you didn't miss anything as I was trying to be clever. But as it must be obvious, no she is not dead. I am planning something for her tho.
And I must say I never thought of elaborating on why Harry's sister would go along with the attack. I'll make sure I add a flashback or something during Harry's recovery
- It would be interesting if the reflected spell didn't kill Bella, but did kill Bellatrix. That would be unique.
Decent story, by the way. I rated you up on originality. I would suggest, however, that you get a beta to go over your work before you post it. A good beta can help with spelling, word choice, formatting, and all the rest of the little things that make the difference between an OK fic and an excellent one.
(#) siledubhghlase 2009-06-11 02:00:09 PMGood concept, good structure. You do need some beta help as others have already pointed out. This is a story worth finishing, so please do. You've got our attention. Just get some help with your spelling and grammar and you'll have a hit!
- Okay, there's just one thing that I'm not getting here. Why is the other universe's Harry affected, if that universe's Harry was the one tortured. I could see him inheriting the physical damage, since he's taken over a body with some mileage. If it's a completely different spirit, mind, soul, consciousness, etc. then the new one shoudln't be affected by the previous Harry's mental conditions. Unless there was pysical damage done to the actual brain, then there wouldn't be, at least I don't think there would. I'm going to go reread my textbook while I wait for the next chapter. It's highly possible that you know something about this that I don't, so feel free to ignore this at your discretion.
Also, a word of advice, you didn't have to post this unedited. All you had to do was write down the ideas you had for the next chapter, then come back and edit this one.