Things don't go exactly as Gerard had planned.
Willow nodded, “Yeah, it will.”
He looked at her closely, “This ain’t the alcohol talking is it?”
“I told you, I’m not drunk” Willow felt her heartbeat racing. She had never in her life imagined doing anything like this. Panic was starting to set in.
“I think it’s best we keep this to ourselves. I don’t wanna upset Mikey and your watchdog, Bob.”
Willow considered his words. “Why would they care?”
Gerard laughed, “Oh come on. You gotta know they are all thinking I’m gonna hurt you. Don’t pretend not to know what others are thinking. He took a step closer and leaned down to add in a rough tone. “I don’t want any fucking lies.”
“Fine, we keep this to ourselves.” Willow answered standing up a bit straighter.
He nodded, “Good. Come on.” Once again he grabbed the sleeve of her silk shirt and began to pull her down the walkway to the sidewalk.
“Where are we going?” Willow asked trying to keep up with him so that her new shirt didn’t get damaged. She knew why her kept holding on to the material. He was doing it deliberately so that their skin didn’t touch.
“Two block down from here is the Hilton.” Gerard explained as they walked. “We’re gonna fuck or did you already change your mind?”
“No, I didn’t change my mind.” Willow shot back. “But won’t the others wonder where we are?”
“I told Mikey before I got you away from that fucker in there that you had a headache and I was taking you back to Bob’s.” He explained picking up the pace even more.
“Oh” Willow realized he really had this all planned. “What if I hadn’t agreed?”
“I still would have taken you to Bob’s. That party is gonna go on for hours. You looked about ready to drop.”
“I did not.” Willow said “And could we please slow down?”
Gerard sighed but did as she asked. They continued down the block in silence. Well not total silence for Willow. Even though he had a song playing in his mind part of his thoughts were still getting through. The sexual nature of these thoughts caused her to blush. Once the Hilton came into view Willow felt her heart begin to race again. Am I really gonna go through with this, she asked herself. As the light changed and they started across the road Gerard reached down and took her hand in his. The immediate reaction her body registered as they touched answered her question. Yes, she was going to do this.
Willow stood a short distance away from the check in counter as Gerard spoke to the desk clerk. She couldn’t hear what they were saying but she had a pretty good idea what was going on. The man looked over and her then back at Gerard and smiled. The clerk’s thoughts were easy for her to hear. She was shocked to hear herself being called a nice piece of ass. He was also very jealous of rock stars and their luck.
Once the details were taken care of Gerard looked over and gestured for her to follow him in the direction of the elevators. She did so slowly trying to calm her nerves and slow down her heart rate.
As the elevator doors slid closed Gerard turned to her. “Last chance to change your mind. Once we get to the room there is no turning back.”
His words while spoken in all seriousness caused her to smile. “I know that, Gerard. I know what I’m doing.” She answered with false bravado.
He smirked at her as the elevator door opened. They walked down the hall in silence. He slid the card key into the door and once it was opened stood back to let her enter.
Willow watched as he took off his jacket and tossed it on to the chair. “Well” He said turning to her. “Here we are.”
“I’ll be right back.” Willow made a beeline for the bathroom. She walked in, closed the door and leaned against it heavily. Her mind was racing. Suddenly every fear she’d ever had about being intimate with a man came crashing back to her. On shaky legs she crossed over and grabbed a washcloth and dampened it with cold water. She held it up to her blushed cheeks trying to calm down. “This is what I want.” She whispered to her reflection in the mirror over the sink. “I want this.” She took several deep breaths and tried to decide the best way to tell him she was a virgin. Would he laugh at her? She closed her eyes a moment trying to calm down the fear and uncertainly that washed over her.
Outside the bathroom Gerard moved over towards the desk and turned on the radio. He moved the dial until he found a station playing music that fit his mood. It was hard rock, down and dirty just like he felt. Fuck, he hoped she hadn’t changed her mind. His jeans already felt two sizes too small and he craved to touch her again, he wanted to feel the electricity pass between their bodies. He also wanted to get a handle on the situation and this would do just that. She was no different to him then any other woman he’d fucked. Yeah, this was the right thing to do.
When the bathroom door opened he sucked in his breath. Willow had removed her silk blouse and jeans. She stood looking at him in only a sheer bra and panties. He didn’t stop to notice the frightened look in her eyes. Nothing could stop the sudden need that coursed through his body. He crossed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. When their lips met the sensation was overpowering.
Willow broke off the kiss and with trembling fingers started to unbutton his shirt. She needed to feel his skin against hers. Now. Momentarily her fingers stilled. When the kiss had ended so had the silence in her mind. She couldn’t really make out his thoughts and she wanted her mind to be silent again. She didn’t want to hear what was in his head she only wanted to feel his body.
Gerard saw her pause and reached down to finish undoing the buttons himself. He wanted to feel her skin pressed against his.
Once the shirt hit the floor he undid his belt buckle and removed his jeans in record time. He couldn’t ever remember feeling this much desire for any woman in his life. He needed to take her before he exploded.
Willow gasped as he pushed her back hard so that she landed on the bed. His body followed hers down. Again his lips were on hers in a raw and brutal kiss. After a moment he broke off and leaned up so that he could undo her bra. Willow was so caught in the moment she couldn’t think. When his mouth fastened over her right nipple she moaned loudly.
“You like that Sugar?” Gerard asked raising his head to look into her eyes.
Willow could only nod.
He smiled, “Good, cause I sure as fuck like your taste.” His mouth dropped to fasten onto her other nipple. This time he not only licked, he sucked. Again Willow moaned in pleasure. Her nipples were vibrating from his touch.
Gerard moaned himself. He didn’t want to rush this incredible event but he knew he wouldn’t last long. He told himself he was being like a dog in heat but he couldn’t stop. It was time to bury himself in her. His need had completely taken over. He quickly pushed off his boxers and stripped her of her panties. Willow watched as he reached over for the condom he’d left on the nightstand.
Her breathing was ragged. Her thoughts racing. “You don’t need that.” She whispered. “I’m on birth control.” She wanted him inside her without any barrier.
It took every ounce of willpower he had to stay in control of the situation. “Sugar, I’m not gonna fuck you without this.” He said as he rolled the condom over his ready to bust dick. “I know I’m clean but I’ve learned never to take chances with my partners.”
His words cut Willow to the core. What did he think? That she’d had multiply partners? He moved back ready to cover her body with his. Willow knew she had to tell him. “Gerard….” he fell back on her and silenced her with a kiss. Her mouth opened and his tongue teased. She placed her hands of his shoulders and tried to gently push him up so she could tell him. She knew she had to make him understand but it was too late. Gerard nudged her legs apart and thrust in hard.
Pain tore through Willow. Her fingernails dung into his back as she tried to keep from crying out. Gerard stilled as the realization hit him. “Oh fuck, you’re a virgin.”
Willow blinked back the tears in her eyes, “Was” she whispered. She looked into his eyes afraid he’d be angry; afraid her silence had ruined everything.
Gerard closed his eyes a moment feeling shame and regret wash over him. He knew he’d hurt her but he truly hadn’t known. He slowly began to pull out when Willow tightened her arms around him.
“Please, don’t stop. Don’t leave me like this.” Her body even though throbbing with pain wanted him desperately.
“Just wait.” Gerard whispered. She dropped her arms and he got off the bed. Walking quickly to the bathroom he stripped off the bloody condom and disposed of it. Grabbing a washcloth he moistened it with warm water and returned to the bed. Willow was lying with her eyes closed. He leaned over her and gently wiped away the blood. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” He said softly.
“It’s okay.” Willow said finding her voice. “I meant to tell you but…”
He smiled, “Yeah, I know but we both lost control. But when you said you were on birth control I just assumed.”
“I’m on it to regulate my periods.” Willow said slightly embarrassed.
Gerard nodded then took the soiled washcloth back to the bathroom. When he returned to the bed he saw Willow had her eyes open. “I still want this.” She said looking away. She was afraid to look at him, afraid he’d changed his mind.
Gerard sat down on the bed trying to gather his thoughts. Shit, he’d never stopped to think she was a virgin. He’d wanted so badly to believe she was no different than any of the other woman. He slowly shook his head. “I do too but this doesn’t change anything between us. You know this will never been anything more than what we agreed.”
“I know that.” Willow said blinking back tears she wouldn’t let him see.
He absently trailed his fingers down her thigh and was amazed once again by the sensation. This was insane but he could already feel himself growing hard again. “I’ve done enough damage already.” He said trying to clear his mind. “Not tonight.” He forces himself to say.
Willow didn’t care about the pain. Her body was demanding what it wanted. “Fuck me, Gerard.” She said looking directly into his eyes.
He looked at her and his body made the decision. There was no way he could stop himself. Slowly he moved over her again and began kissing her breasts. Soon the pain was fading for Willow but another ache was taking over. She almost cried out when his mouth released her nipple. Her eyes shot open to see him moving down her body. She was excited and embarrassed at the same time. What did he think of her body? She realized at once that it wasn’t so wonderful having only her own thoughts in her head because those thoughts were so insecure.
He left a trail of hot kisses down her stomach. When he reached the soft curls hiding her womanhood she held her breath. She had never dreamed a feeling like this could be so intense. Gently he used his fingers to part her lips and when his tongue darted out to tease her throbbing nub she moaned and arched her back. His tongue was sending waves of vibrating pleasure through her body. Her fingers intertwined in his hair while his tongue lapped and teased. Gerard continued until he tasted her hot wetness and he knew she was ready. She was hot, wet and oh so ready for him. He moved back up and this time when he parted her legs he slid into her slowly. “This okay?” He whispered softly hoping she would tell him yes.
“Oh yes.” Willow said breathlessly. There was still pain but the pleasure was much stronger.
Gerard closed his eyes trying to keep in control. When he’d buried himself in her without a condom his dick had begun to vibrate with the energy that flowed between them. The feeling was more intense than anything he’d ever felt. He began to move in and out, it was torture but he forced himself to go slowly.
Willow understood he was trying to be gentle. She felt such an overpowering feeling she couldn’t begin to explain. As the feeling began to build she started to arch her back to meet his thrusts.
“I can’t hold out much longer, Sugar.” Gerard ground out. “Too fuckin’ good.”
Willow lifted her legs and locked them behind his back. She arched her back, tightened her legs and pushed him into her as deeply as possible. It was as if the world exploded. The waves of the orgasm crashed through and she cried out, this time in pure pleasure. At the same moment Gerard exploded in her. Nothing in his life had ever felt like this. He buried his face against Willows neck until it passed. They held on tightly to each other until their breathing began to return to normal.
“What the fuck just happened?” Gerard couldn’t keep from asking.
“Isn’t it always like that?” Willow asked in a small voice.
Gerard raised his head and looked deeply into her eyes. At first he’d thought she was kidding. How could she not realize what had just happened between them was mind blowing? “No, this was more. I’ve never felt anything like this.”
Willow’s insecurities made her ask, “Then I’m good?” Her voice was filled with such painful honestly he blinked. Her question tore at his hardened heart. He pulled out of her and quickly got off the bed.
“Fuckin’ good, Willow. Too good.” He went into the bathroom and slammed the door.