Faltering breaths and one last touch. Based on the song Headlights.
Just the story.
On a side note, I just baked chocolate cookies. Are you jealous? I BET YOU ARE.
I'm seeing you
Through the electric lights.
The rain on our windows
It goes on, and on, and on, and on
Through the night.
The sound of the windscreen wipers was a rhythymic swish as we headed home through the night. You hadn't been feeling well, and Gerard thought it would be best if you were at home to recover, and naturally, as your boyfriend, I offered to drive you there as soon as we had left the stage and were free to go. It didn't matter that it was raining, or dark, I wanted to get you home.
I looked over at you, leaning against the window, tracing small patterns in the condensation on the window. You noticed I was looking at you, and made eye contact, smiling softly, your beautiful face illuminated in the light of the street lamps, the light playing across your delicate features as we passed them.
Headlights, tailights, and the roads are wet
Reflecting all the colours that I see
When I look in your eyes.
We start to skid, and then I lose control
Of the wheel, and the brakes go
Forgot your seatbelt
I watch you crash through the windshield.
It all happened so quickly. As I looked back to the road, there was a flash of fur running across the road, I have no idea what is was, but you know what I'm like. I can't stand to cause anything pain, so I swerved to avoid it, whatever it was. We started to skid, and there's nothing I can do. I watch helplessly as we collide with the barrier in the middle of the road, and my mouth opens in a silent scream as you fly forward, going straight through the windshield, and landing in a crumpled heap on the road.
The ground is wet beneath your skin
A sudden silence sets in
And your stifled breaths hang on the end.
I listen for your beating heart
Watch our lives fall apart.
And your eyelids, they flicker
In the glow of my headlights.
I throw myself out of the car, mindlessly wiping blood from a cut on my forehead as I run to your side. I start to cry, calling your name and looking at your serene face, looking almost as if you could be sleeping, for any signs of movement, for any signs of life. Time seems to stop, and I can hear you breathing, the disjointed gasps seemingly out of place in the sudden silence. I fish my phone out of my pocket with shaking hands, and call for help, babbling down the phone, and almost screaming when the ask me to calm down and to repeat what I said. I wait for the ambulances to arrive, kneeling in the rain next to your broken body, and I can see your eyelids flickering in the glow of my headlights.
You were so beautiful
Lying in my arms asleep
To the sound of the TV set.
Wishing we could be there now
Instead of here, surrounded by the shattered glass,
And the sirens
And the sirens come.
I remember the night before, on the tour bus. You had fallen asleep in my arms as we were watching The Nightmare Before Christmas, your favourite film. You had looked so beautiful, and so peaceful, just lying there asleep, and I was so grateful that I could call you my own, this small piece of perfection in an otherwise imperfect world. I wished we were there now, instead of here. I cry harder as a small trickle of blood winds its way down the side of your face, the scarlet liquid contrasting sharply with the smooth light olive skin of your cheek, and I realise I can't hear you breathing anymore. I hear sirens in the distance, and then suddenly, they're here, surrounding us, the blue lights illuminating the area. I scream and fight as they pull me away from you, and kneel around you, shining lights into your eyes and feeling for a pulse in your neck. The paramedics exchange looks, and shake their heads slightly. I know what this means, and I break away from the paramedic treating the cut on my forehead, and run to you.
"No, no! You've got it wrong! He can't be gone, not like this!"
I grab you, pulling you into my arms, sobbing brokenly over your body.
They gently remove you from my arms, and I'm being taken into the back of an ambulance, but I can't take my eyes off of you, looking out through the small window as they bag you up, covering that beautiful, familiar face. The tears are still running down my cheeks in a salty flow of emotion as you get smaller and smaller,
and then I can't see you anymore.
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