I'm on a total writers block, so sorry if it sucks. Or doesn't make sense.
It's good, I love frerard. It is a bit too short and sometimes hard to read, if you use the rule new speaker, new line for speech, it is much clearer, but you have potencial, please carry one
PS your spelling isn't really a problem
I say keep it up. Maybe make it a little longer unless you are planning a BUNCH of short chapters. I like the plot so far though, the short-ness of it all keeps me intrigued. I say keep going!!! :]
Ey Girl xD
Ok! i like it!! i like frerard a lot!! xD -i can't spell 2- uhm... Keep making charpters!! i love it all ready!!
Longer maby ?? °-°
I Hope Sow!!
Hugs and Kisses
(#) vampyGee 2009-07-26 01:36:25 AM
i like your story , but you crammed everything together!
Try to indent, and start a new line whenever a new person talks, ya know, like in an actual story?