“It was boring. You have no video games, no computer, no board games and no food. This place is like a death trap.” He laughed.
Now that I have Aiden and Angel are both here, let’s get this shit started. “Aiden,” I looked over to my angel on my side. “If I join your side will I still be able to see Michael and Xander, and Gerard, Ray, Frank and Bob?” I asked. They were the only important thing in my life right now.
“Of course. You can visit whenever you want.” He said. He just stared at Angel.
“Are you okay, Aiden?” I asked. He looked like he was really tired.
“I need to go. Someone’s coming.” He vanished and before I turned back to Angel he was gone too. I sighed and heard Michael enter the kitchen.
“Hey, I was just going to get a glass of water.” He said shyly. I just laughed.
“Go ahead. I’m going to bed now. I’m so tired.” I smiled as I left to my room and changed into my Star Wars pajama pants and tight black tank top. I brushed my teeth and slipped under my black comforters. My sheets were cold against my skin, but I could care less. I was always cold. I turned on my side and stared at my blood red walls in my room. I think back to when I barley moved in this apartment and how I was excited. Before I moved all my things I decided to paint the walls my favorite color. I smile and try to sleep.
It’s two in the morning and I can hear Michael’s steady breathing down the hall from the spear room. I couldn’t sleep. There were too many thoughts running through my mind to let my mind shut down and sleep to take over. I was thinking about what Angel said and then what Aiden said. This decision was big. It depended on the rest of my life. I needed to make the right decision for me. For the rest of my life. I kept thinking about everything until I heard something. It was Michael. He was up. I could hear his silent footsteps coming toward my room. I waited till I could smell close to me. I turned and saw him in the dim moonlight that was coming through my shades at my window. “Sorry,” I heard him whisper. “Can I come in?” He asked. I turned over fully and smiled.
“Yeah, dude.” I sat up and watched him walk over to the side of the bed where I sat. “Are you okay?” I asked. I saw him nod. “Are you sure?” I tried to break into his thoughts again. But he was still too strong. He kneeled down by my bed and I heard him sigh.
“No.” His raspy voice mustered. I leaned over to turn on the light, but his voice stopped me. “No. I just wanted to ask you something.” He paused. I waited patiently for him to continue. It wasn’t until a minute later he spoke up. “I know this is gonna sound weird, but can I just sleep with you tonight?” He asked and I could hear the hesitance in his voice.
I was totally caught off guard I didn’t realize I hadn’t given him an answer yet. “I’ll just go.” He stood and just as he was about to leave I caught his wrist.
“No, it’s okay. C’mon.” I pulled him into the sheets. He laid down next to me. I could hear his heart beat and his steady breathing in the silence that conquered my room along with the darkness.
“Sorry, I just…I’m not used to sleeping along.” I saw him smile.
“It’s okay.” I rubbed his arm that was over the sheets. His skin was soft and warm against my cold rough palms. He cautiously pushed his arm around my waist.
“Is this okay?” He asked. I smiled and nodded. My hands found his biceps. I started to caress his muscles. I felt his arm tense under my touch. I fought the urge to giggle. I could feel the heat that was radiating off his warm body. “It doesn’t make you uncomfortable?” He asked.
“No, it’s okay. Just relax and sleep.” I closed my eyes. Like I was going to sleep tonight. I never sleep. And whenever I do it’s never too long. “Sleep.” I whispered as I could feel his stare fixed on me. He felt him nod on the pillow we were sharing as the feeling of his piercing stare was gone.
After I knew for sure he had gone to sleep I looked up at the ceiling and thought about my life if I chose heaven, and then if I chose hell. Hell was pretty much where I am now, so nothing would change. I would still be what I am and I would still have my negativity. I could still see Bob, Ray, Frank, Gerard and Michael with the intense urge to drain them dry. I think everything would be better if I just decided heaven. Now I was imagining life without the negativity and urge. It was brighter and happier than I was now. It was full of love and laughter. Good times for as long as I lived. And even when they all died I still would be able to see them. They would all come to heaven and we would just hang out when they were alive. Heaven was sounding oh so inviting. But would they want me there? Would I still be a vampire if I did decide heaven? Could I still fall in love and live on earth? Earth was the best place in the whole universe. Even though it was very dirty and not so innocent through living eyes, but there were good people. You just had to look. You just had to look on the bright side of every dark situation. Out of being what I am I’ve learned a lot.
I’ve learned that life is too short to dwell on death and not deal with your problems when you can. Take chances and once in a life time opportunities, because before you know it you could be on the verge of death and the end of all life. There is pain and sadness in life, but you need to find what’s wrong and take action. Isn’t that the purpose of living. People takes risks everyday. Some die and some live to see another day. It’s all in the hands of God.
I felt Michael shift a little beside me. I turned and now he was spooning me. I could feel his hot breath on the back of my neck. His soft skin on mine. I’ve haven’t felt this in a long time. No one has ever spooned me since I got together with my ex. He didn’t even hold me like this. He would kiss me then go and sleep. He never really touched me in a sensual way. We were never really intimate. Every since he got some hookers from a bar he didn’t need me to fill his needs. He had it here in New York. Right under his nose. Now I felt loved and wanted. Even though Michael was a friend he was all I needed at the moment. Someone to have fun with and laugh with. Even if I really don’t like his wife we are friends. We love each other as friends and will always.
I turned over in my bed and faced Michael. I moved closer to him and I guess I woke. “Are you okay?” He asked as his arm went to his side.
“Yeah. This going to sound kind of weird, but can I hear your heart beat?” I asked and a shocked look replaced his stoic visage. “I know we’re only friends and you really love Alicia, but I…” I really didn’t know how to explain this. I opened my mouth to talk, but nothing came out.
“Yeah, sure. I think it’s okay.” I smiled and he shifted so he laid flat on his back and his care chest was exposed. I moved my head and laid it on his chest so my ear was pressed against the center of his chest. And there I heard it. The beautiful sound of a beating heart. I loved the sound. It made me feel alive again. I want a beating heart and to feel blood pulse through my veins whenever I had an adrenaline rush. I miss that feeling. Now after hearing Michael’s heart for about five minutes I started to actually feel tired and sleepy. My eyes lids became very heavy and I was falling asleep on Michael’s chest. I just now know Michael is asleep again. I smiled and closed my eyes. I hadn’t slept for a while and just felt good to shut my eyes for a few hours before I had to get up for work.
This morning I felt something underneath my head. I looked down and saw pale flesh underneath my head. I heard a steady heartbeat and looked up and saw Michael sleeping soundly. I smiled and got up. Memories flooded back to my mind. I looked over at the clock as it read 5:00 am. I slowly got up and took a quick shower. As I got out I remembered Michael was in my bed room and I had to get my clothes. I wrapped a towel around my bare body and silently walked across my room and snuck into my closet. I sighed in relief when I had reached my destination and Michael was still sound asleep. I shut the closet door and picked out my clothes. Some vintage skinny jeans, a Bullet For My Valentine band tee, my black high top Converse, and my Aiden hoodie.
I made my way to the bathroom again without waking Michael and brushed my hair, put on some eyeliner and made sure I looked presentable for work today. After I made sure I was I headed out early. Taking only my cell phone and my wallet. On my way to work I stopped at Starbucks for some coffee just to wake me up and get me going for the day. I had more band interviews and Catch-Ups to write, and more photos to take. And I recently got another job at designing page layouts for AP for every article I write. Only a few writers have the privilege of designing their own pages.
I made a note to stop by the Apple Store and buy another iPod. Another note: Pick up some more meat. I ran out. Another note: Talk to Aiden. I had some questions that really needed answering before I made my decision.
I got to work and wrote my interview with Green Day and designed the page it would go on. After that I headed to lunch and then got back and reviewed and edited my interview and page. Then scanned the other bands I would interview this month. I had to plan a date with the bands and their interview and confirm they were available to do it that date. If they couldn’t I would have to find a date they could. Then make sure Irene had the dates. Now walking back to my apartment I stopped by the Apple Store to buy a new iPod. After picking out the GB’s I wanted and the color (lime green) I paid and went to the store. It was then I remembered Michael was staying and I needed to buy something he can eat. And I needed to sneak around eating. How would I do that? I had no idea, but I would find something.
I finally made it to the apartment after a long day at work and crashed on the couch where Michael sat watching the Looney Tunes. Once I let my body fall onto the couch he bounced and smiled. “How was work?” He asked.
“Tiring.” I closed my eyes and sighed. I was so tired I just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep forever. “How was your day?” I asked. I heard him turn off the TV and shift in his seat.
“It was boring. You have no video games, no computer, no board games and no food. This place is like a death trap.” He laughed. I giggled and smiled still not opening my eyes.
“Well, I work all week and on the weekends I sleep all day. So, I don’t actually have time for fun or video games, fucking on the computer, playing Candy Land and eating. This is my life whether you like or not.” I sighed and just continued to let the darkness take me in.
“This is no life to me.” He complained. I could hear that he was truly bored, but I didn’t care. He could always go back home where he lives and play all the video games he wants, all the board games and stuff his face with Oreos and licorice Redvines. All I cared about right now was him shutting up and me sleeping soundly in my bed.
“I bought some stuff at the store and I have a laptop. Play computer games and stuff your face with Cheeze Its.” I got up and headed to my bedroom. I took off my shoes and dumped my body onto the bed. I slowly covered myself with my blankets and closed my eyes to sleep. I heard Michael come to the bedroom and sit on the edge of my bed. “What do you want?” I asked. I didn’t want him to disturb my slumber. Not like I was actually going to sleep for long till a nightmare took over my dream world.
“I just want something to do. It’s really boring and since Alicia isn’t here I can’t talk or do anything with her. And I just got off the phone with her.” He said.
“Go out to a park or something. Go get drunk, have fun.” I sighed as I rolled over on my side and faced the wall and my back faced him.
“Fine. Whatever.” He sounded pissed as he left my room. Now I felt bad. Fucking guilt tricks. I never used them on anyone, but why do people use them on me? I sighed and got up. I searched for Michael and found him in the guest bedroom packing his stuff. I knocked on the open door, and when he didn’t react I spoke up.
“What are you doing?” I asked. As if it wasn’t already obvious.
“What the fuck does it look like?” I retorted. I didn’t know why he was so pissed. What did I do wrong?