Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > 10 Theorems of Calculus and Relationships
The day of the AP Calculus Exam was a day of panic and procrastination. Mr. Betterby's students were scattered across the school library skimming their notes for some last minute memorization. It seemed like nothing could save them now. The exams cost over $80 and, as crazy as paying to take a test may be, it meant that Mr. Betterby would not give them a final. It was an option in any AP class that if a student did not choose to take the exam, they would be faced with a mandatory final which could count up to 20% of their grade. However, paying for and taking the AP Exam did not mean they had to pass the test. All they had to do was take it and they would be exempted from a final exam. Whoever said you couldn't pay for your grade?
Mae was working through an integration by parts problem which was a long process where the slightest miscalculation meant a failing score. It was her weakest point because she had so little patience in finishing the problem and she rushed through it so fast that she saw right through her mistakes. She found it mentally exhausting and frustrating to keep track on what was being multiplied with what and taking the integral over and over extending the process until she came up with some result she didn't really want to check over. Backtracking her work would mean analyzing a whole block of numbers shoved together that she really wouldn't want to give a second glance at. It was just part of her nature to not give second looks to any gigantic errors. She was never one to give second chances.
"That's a negative," Frank pointed out her flaw. "You almost lost your whole problem."
"Thanks," Mae mumbled without taking her eyes off her paper.
She knew Frank was going to ace the exam. She, on the other hand, was hoping for some kind of saving grace that she would at least do decent enough for a passing grade. A score of 3 meant college credit which also meant she could skip college calculus altogether. But mostly, she wanted the $80 she saved up to pay for the test to go to some use. She suddenly cursed inwardly at Mr. Betterby for not preparing them well enough and for never finishing his lectures.
Suddenly, the door opened and every student looked up from whatever they were attempting to study. It was time, ready or not, to test what they had learned all year. Which was, for most of them, not very much at all.
*
"How'd you do?" Frank asked Mae as she walked miserably out of the library.
"Not very well," Mae sighed.
She couldn't believe how easily he found it to strike a casual conversation with her. He was walking side by side with her as she wandered aimlessly for a place to eat lunch. Because they had been in the library finishing off their exams, every AP student got to skip their 5th period class for a late lunch. All of a sudden, Frank grabbed her hand which startled her at first but she couldn't deny how comforting it was to touch him again.
"How about we eat right here?" Frank led her to a bench near the library entrance.
It was quite a peaceful spot with the sun shining down upon the luscious green grass and rows of daisies and dandelions. It really looked more like a park than a part of a high school.
"Frank, what are you doing?" Mae asked as he beckoned her to sit with him.
"Picking up where we left off," he said simply.
She could've crumbled at the hopeful look in his eyes. He unpacked his lunch from his school bag and pulled out two sandwiches. He made her favorite just how she liked it. Boca veggie patties on white bread and cheese with extra ketchup. She wasn't a vegetarian like he was, but he had gotten her hooked on Boca burgers. He even brought her favorite tall can of green tea.
"Thank you," was all Mae could tell him. She was so taken aback by how perfect the whole situation was becoming.
"I bet you passed your exam," Frank said with a wink as he took a bite out of his sandwich.
"Pssh . . .that's one bet I know you'll lose," Mae scoffed.
"How much do you wanna bet then?" Frank raised an eyebrow.
"20 bucks," Mae decided.
"Deal," Frank shook her hand to seal it.
For the next few minutes, everything felt right between them again. It was like old times and how they were just happy to spend time with each other. They laughed and conversed like there were no secrets threatening to pry them apart.
"I missed you," Frank softly laid her palm against his and placed a soft kiss on the top of it.
"I missed you, too," Mae replied, meaning it so much she thought it was more of an understatement.
The corners of Frank's lips slowly glided upward as he offered her a wistful smile. Soon, they came in slowly for a kiss. A kiss that felt just like the first.
"Tell me everything," Mae whispered.
Frank pulled away even if all he wanted was to stay in that moment forever. He never spoke about what happened before. He just let it happen. He barely discussed it with Heather herself.
"Just so you know," Frank began. "Those baby toys you saw in my room were never mine."
"Oh?" Mae mused, patiently waiting for him to continue.
"It was a girl," Frank said with a hint of a smile. "I even called in a favor from a friend so I could get a decent job to help out. I mean I was willing to fucking drop out of school if I had to."
Mae was relieved to hear the dedication and determination coming from Frank. She always found it hard to believe he would just leave a girl that carried his own child.
"Everything I earned went to Heather," Frank explained. "I made sure of it. I even bought our rings. I really would've married her, you know."
"So why didn't you?" Mae asked.
"She lost the baby," Frank said barely above a whisper.
He was on the verge of tears and she could see how ashamed he was of his condition. She started to run her hand over his back in soothing strokes until he regained a little more of his composure.
"I still loved her, but it just tore at her," Frank's voice began to break. "She wasn't the same after the miscarriage and I feel like it's all my fault."
"It's not your fault. You couldn't have stopped that from happening," Mae disagreed.
"But I could've stopped us from every being in that situation in the first place," Frank shook his head. "We got drunk at a party."
"It's not fair to just place all the blame on yourself," Mae reasoned. "It almost happened to us, too, remember?"
"That's what I'm scared of," Frank turned away from her. "I don't want to hurt you, too."
"You already have, Frank," Mae admitted.
"I'm sorry," Frank told her in all sincerity.
"What happened to Heather?" Mae asked.
"She had to stay at the hospital for awhile because she became really suicidal," Frank said in shame. "Her parents didn't let me see her or contact her at all. I'm not sure if she was home schooled for the next couple of years or if she even finished her schooling at all, but one day her family just packed up and left."
Mae saw how hard Frank bit down on his bottom lip to try to suppress any tears from falling down, but she couldn't help but to let her own go. Seeing her cry, broke him. He grabbed onto her for support as they silently listened to other's heart break.
"I screwed up," Frank sniffled. "I ruined her life."
"Frank, that's not true," Mae tried to tell him through her own tears.
"I don't think we should see each other anymore," Frank said firmly.
"Frank . . .," Mae trailed off, being at a complete loss of words.
"Seriously, Mae," Frank persisted. "We're graduating soon and who knows where we're gonna be in the near future. It's better if we just end this now. It'll give us enough time to accept it and move on."
"I love you," Mae stressed.
"I love you, too," Frank attempted a smile. "And that's why we should stop before it destroys us both."
*
It was a quiet afternoon until Gerard woke up to a tearful Mae in front of his bedroom door. She filled him in with all the details of Frank breaking up with her and how she poured her heart out to him and he just shoved it away like it wasn't enough for him.
". . . and then he just walked away," Mae sniffled, recollecting what had occurred literally a couple of hours ago. It still hurt like he just told her off a minute ago.
"I'm sorry, Mae," was all Gerard had to tell her. There wasn't much he could do to ease her pain.
"It's not fair," Mae whispered as she buried her face on his shoulder.
"It's not," Gerard agreed wholeheartedly.
"Gerard!"
Both Gerard and Mae turned at the sound of the voice.
"Lilly broke up with me," Mikey said somberly.
He didn't even notice that Mae was there. He looked up at them both as if he was asking them for words of comfort. But there was nothing they could give him but their own understanding of exactly how he felt.
"I'm sorry, Mikey," Mae repeated Gerard's words.
Mikey didn't think he would ever witness Mae sympathizing him in his life. In fact, those were the first words she had said to him before their own break up. He offered her a weak smile as he sat down next to them silently enjoying being in good terms with her again if even for just that moment. He had grown up with this girl. She had been his first best friend and he knew her childhood like the back of his hand. She probably never thought that he was killing himself inside the day she found out about him and Ashley. Now there they were again and all he wanted was to go back to the old days. They were better off as friends and Ashley was nothing but a stupid crush. It's funny how a simple crush could destroy a bond as strong as Mikey and Mae once had. Mikey felt as if he just fed the beast that ruined them. He let his mistakes grow and his lies tangle to the point where he could no longer keep up with them.
There was nothing much they could do to save what they once were. What was done was done and there was no changing the past. For the rest of the day, they said nothing to each other. There was nothing really to be said between them. There was only the silence and the acknowledgment that they were in the same room. When it was time for Mae to go home, Mikey didn't even go with Gerard to walk her out the door. He went into the livingroom where he saw her walk away from his house through the window. He saw her turn around and hinted a sad smile. He wasn't sure, but he could've sworn that she caught his eye and directed it toward him. He gave her one back in return even if she was far from his sight and he knew that she had forgiven him. There was no fixing up what they once had but they finally got what they were longing for from each other. Finally, there was some closure between them.
Mae was working through an integration by parts problem which was a long process where the slightest miscalculation meant a failing score. It was her weakest point because she had so little patience in finishing the problem and she rushed through it so fast that she saw right through her mistakes. She found it mentally exhausting and frustrating to keep track on what was being multiplied with what and taking the integral over and over extending the process until she came up with some result she didn't really want to check over. Backtracking her work would mean analyzing a whole block of numbers shoved together that she really wouldn't want to give a second glance at. It was just part of her nature to not give second looks to any gigantic errors. She was never one to give second chances.
"That's a negative," Frank pointed out her flaw. "You almost lost your whole problem."
"Thanks," Mae mumbled without taking her eyes off her paper.
She knew Frank was going to ace the exam. She, on the other hand, was hoping for some kind of saving grace that she would at least do decent enough for a passing grade. A score of 3 meant college credit which also meant she could skip college calculus altogether. But mostly, she wanted the $80 she saved up to pay for the test to go to some use. She suddenly cursed inwardly at Mr. Betterby for not preparing them well enough and for never finishing his lectures.
Suddenly, the door opened and every student looked up from whatever they were attempting to study. It was time, ready or not, to test what they had learned all year. Which was, for most of them, not very much at all.
*
"How'd you do?" Frank asked Mae as she walked miserably out of the library.
"Not very well," Mae sighed.
She couldn't believe how easily he found it to strike a casual conversation with her. He was walking side by side with her as she wandered aimlessly for a place to eat lunch. Because they had been in the library finishing off their exams, every AP student got to skip their 5th period class for a late lunch. All of a sudden, Frank grabbed her hand which startled her at first but she couldn't deny how comforting it was to touch him again.
"How about we eat right here?" Frank led her to a bench near the library entrance.
It was quite a peaceful spot with the sun shining down upon the luscious green grass and rows of daisies and dandelions. It really looked more like a park than a part of a high school.
"Frank, what are you doing?" Mae asked as he beckoned her to sit with him.
"Picking up where we left off," he said simply.
She could've crumbled at the hopeful look in his eyes. He unpacked his lunch from his school bag and pulled out two sandwiches. He made her favorite just how she liked it. Boca veggie patties on white bread and cheese with extra ketchup. She wasn't a vegetarian like he was, but he had gotten her hooked on Boca burgers. He even brought her favorite tall can of green tea.
"Thank you," was all Mae could tell him. She was so taken aback by how perfect the whole situation was becoming.
"I bet you passed your exam," Frank said with a wink as he took a bite out of his sandwich.
"Pssh . . .that's one bet I know you'll lose," Mae scoffed.
"How much do you wanna bet then?" Frank raised an eyebrow.
"20 bucks," Mae decided.
"Deal," Frank shook her hand to seal it.
For the next few minutes, everything felt right between them again. It was like old times and how they were just happy to spend time with each other. They laughed and conversed like there were no secrets threatening to pry them apart.
"I missed you," Frank softly laid her palm against his and placed a soft kiss on the top of it.
"I missed you, too," Mae replied, meaning it so much she thought it was more of an understatement.
The corners of Frank's lips slowly glided upward as he offered her a wistful smile. Soon, they came in slowly for a kiss. A kiss that felt just like the first.
"Tell me everything," Mae whispered.
Frank pulled away even if all he wanted was to stay in that moment forever. He never spoke about what happened before. He just let it happen. He barely discussed it with Heather herself.
"Just so you know," Frank began. "Those baby toys you saw in my room were never mine."
"Oh?" Mae mused, patiently waiting for him to continue.
"It was a girl," Frank said with a hint of a smile. "I even called in a favor from a friend so I could get a decent job to help out. I mean I was willing to fucking drop out of school if I had to."
Mae was relieved to hear the dedication and determination coming from Frank. She always found it hard to believe he would just leave a girl that carried his own child.
"Everything I earned went to Heather," Frank explained. "I made sure of it. I even bought our rings. I really would've married her, you know."
"So why didn't you?" Mae asked.
"She lost the baby," Frank said barely above a whisper.
He was on the verge of tears and she could see how ashamed he was of his condition. She started to run her hand over his back in soothing strokes until he regained a little more of his composure.
"I still loved her, but it just tore at her," Frank's voice began to break. "She wasn't the same after the miscarriage and I feel like it's all my fault."
"It's not your fault. You couldn't have stopped that from happening," Mae disagreed.
"But I could've stopped us from every being in that situation in the first place," Frank shook his head. "We got drunk at a party."
"It's not fair to just place all the blame on yourself," Mae reasoned. "It almost happened to us, too, remember?"
"That's what I'm scared of," Frank turned away from her. "I don't want to hurt you, too."
"You already have, Frank," Mae admitted.
"I'm sorry," Frank told her in all sincerity.
"What happened to Heather?" Mae asked.
"She had to stay at the hospital for awhile because she became really suicidal," Frank said in shame. "Her parents didn't let me see her or contact her at all. I'm not sure if she was home schooled for the next couple of years or if she even finished her schooling at all, but one day her family just packed up and left."
Mae saw how hard Frank bit down on his bottom lip to try to suppress any tears from falling down, but she couldn't help but to let her own go. Seeing her cry, broke him. He grabbed onto her for support as they silently listened to other's heart break.
"I screwed up," Frank sniffled. "I ruined her life."
"Frank, that's not true," Mae tried to tell him through her own tears.
"I don't think we should see each other anymore," Frank said firmly.
"Frank . . .," Mae trailed off, being at a complete loss of words.
"Seriously, Mae," Frank persisted. "We're graduating soon and who knows where we're gonna be in the near future. It's better if we just end this now. It'll give us enough time to accept it and move on."
"I love you," Mae stressed.
"I love you, too," Frank attempted a smile. "And that's why we should stop before it destroys us both."
*
It was a quiet afternoon until Gerard woke up to a tearful Mae in front of his bedroom door. She filled him in with all the details of Frank breaking up with her and how she poured her heart out to him and he just shoved it away like it wasn't enough for him.
". . . and then he just walked away," Mae sniffled, recollecting what had occurred literally a couple of hours ago. It still hurt like he just told her off a minute ago.
"I'm sorry, Mae," was all Gerard had to tell her. There wasn't much he could do to ease her pain.
"It's not fair," Mae whispered as she buried her face on his shoulder.
"It's not," Gerard agreed wholeheartedly.
"Gerard!"
Both Gerard and Mae turned at the sound of the voice.
"Lilly broke up with me," Mikey said somberly.
He didn't even notice that Mae was there. He looked up at them both as if he was asking them for words of comfort. But there was nothing they could give him but their own understanding of exactly how he felt.
"I'm sorry, Mikey," Mae repeated Gerard's words.
Mikey didn't think he would ever witness Mae sympathizing him in his life. In fact, those were the first words she had said to him before their own break up. He offered her a weak smile as he sat down next to them silently enjoying being in good terms with her again if even for just that moment. He had grown up with this girl. She had been his first best friend and he knew her childhood like the back of his hand. She probably never thought that he was killing himself inside the day she found out about him and Ashley. Now there they were again and all he wanted was to go back to the old days. They were better off as friends and Ashley was nothing but a stupid crush. It's funny how a simple crush could destroy a bond as strong as Mikey and Mae once had. Mikey felt as if he just fed the beast that ruined them. He let his mistakes grow and his lies tangle to the point where he could no longer keep up with them.
There was nothing much they could do to save what they once were. What was done was done and there was no changing the past. For the rest of the day, they said nothing to each other. There was nothing really to be said between them. There was only the silence and the acknowledgment that they were in the same room. When it was time for Mae to go home, Mikey didn't even go with Gerard to walk her out the door. He went into the livingroom where he saw her walk away from his house through the window. He saw her turn around and hinted a sad smile. He wasn't sure, but he could've sworn that she caught his eye and directed it toward him. He gave her one back in return even if she was far from his sight and he knew that she had forgiven him. There was no fixing up what they once had but they finally got what they were longing for from each other. Finally, there was some closure between them.
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