Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > 101 Ways To Annoy Someone


by caitmonsterrr 13 reviews

frank and bob call a sex line where gee works :)

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Humor - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Published: 2009-07-28 - Updated: 2009-07-29 - 930 words

101 Ways to Annoy Someone:
#8- Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

"Hey Bob!!!!" I screamed as I rushed down the stairs to the knock on the front door. I pryed it opened and jumped on my blonde best friend, whom I haven't seen in just mere hours.

"Hey Frank," he announced as he pushed me off slighty when I jumped on him, not much for the affection I usually liked to show.

"So, what are we gonna do tonight?" I asked, not at all sexual. I was in no way interested in Bob. He was my best friend, but I never felt that "connection" with him. And besides, he wasn't gay...

"Well, you know Mikey's brother just got a job at this 1-800 toll place thing..." Bob said, trying to hint at something that I couldn't quite place.

I raised my eyebrow in confusion and my voice swayed as I asked, "He's hot, but what are you getting at...?"

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could call him and mess with him a little. You know, give him a hard time and shit. I'd be fun, and a whole hell of a lot funner than watching movies and streaking down the street." He chuckled to himself, as did I, and he winked.

"Hmmm, that sounds fun. What's his name again? Jared, Gerald?"

"Gerard," corrected Bob, obviously more in tune with other people besides himself. I mean, I'm not selfish, but I don't pay that close to the fine details.

"Oh yea." I rolled my eyes, knowing that I would probably forget said name before I even let Bob fully into the house. "Well, let's do it then."

"Alright, let me through, though." Bob pushed me aside and scrambled into my house. He made his way into my living room and plopped his ass on the leather couch before grabbing the black cordless phone on the small table. He looked at me and laughed, "You know that this is gonna be a sex line."

"Oh, how wonderful." He smiled at me and dialed the number, 1-800-SEX-LINE, pushed the speaker button, and handed the phone over to me. "Let's just hope we get him," I added, not wanting to completely embarrass myself in front of someone other than my friend's brother.

"Hello. This is Gerard. How can I better your sex life tonight?" a sweet sounding voice appeared on the phone after a few mere rings, and I grinned to myself because, yes, I had accomplished getting him on the phone.

Preventing myself from laughing, I responded, "Oh yes, I'm Frank."

"Hi Frank," he answered, and I unknowingly blushed.

"Hi," I giggled before continuing, "Um, so when I touch myself, you know, 'down there,' I get this warm feeling inside my tummy. It feels really good, but I don't quite know what's happening to me. It's like I'm on top of the world."

Gerard quietly laughed away from the phone and Bob turned to me smile wide as possible. "Uh, Frank. Just wondering, but how old are you?"

"Eighteen," I stated, sounding somewhat childish.

"Um, okay. Anyway, when you touch yourself, it stimulates your penis, and the blood rushes towards it, making it become erect."

"Is that why it gets soooooo long?" I asked, getting into the prank.

"Yes, it is. And the feeling in your stomach, that's when you're having an orgasm."

"Is that when I get all shaky?"

"Yes," he simply stated. Bob know had his fist in his mouth, preventing him from exasperating.

"What's all the wet stuff that comes out? It's all white and sticky..."

"Oh dear Frank," Gerard chuckled, causing me to smile in return. "That's your cum. When you orgasm, it releases genital fluids that carry your semen. That's how you get girls pregnant."

"What if I don't like girls?" I asked, seemingly innocent.

"You don't like girls? Do you like boys?" he asked, and I hoped that maybe he was gay, too.

"No, I'm gay. Are you?"

"That's beside the point," he avoided the subject. "Do you have any other questions about sex?"

"Do you know Mikey Way?"

"Uh yes...?" he answered, confused as to know why I knew his brother.

"Will you go out with me?"


"Please, please, please, please, please?" I chanted, causing him to sigh in annoyance.

"Frank, I don't know who you are, but I will not go out with you."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know who the fuck you are!" Gerard shouted. In the background I could hear, who I assumed was his boss, yell a Watch your language, Gerard.

"I'm friends with Mikey! Now will you go out with me?"

"If I said yes, will you hang up?" he retorted.

"Uh huh," I nodded, although he couldn't see me through the phone.

"Alright, then I'll go on one date with you," he said, emphasizing the word 'one.'

"YAY!" I screamed into the phone, before telling him when and where to meet me. He agreed and I hung up like he asked. I turned to Bob, and smiled wide. "Damn, I'm going on a date with the very sexy Gerard Way."

"Good for you, buddy. Good for you." He patted my back and laughed, and I couldn't help but grin like a fool for some unknown reason. Maybe it was the fact I had just discussed orgasms and cum with my friend's very gorgeous brother. All I knew is that if I didn't know Gerard's name before, I sure as hell knew it know.

a/n: I AM FUCKED UP :)
R&R pleeasee.

Xo caitmo.
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