Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Fall Out Boy Trail

I've Got Troubled Thoughts

by charliexbrown 3 reviews

Oh, Pete. You've got enough on your plate without insomnia to add to it...

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst - Published: 2009-08-17 - Updated: 2009-08-17 - 1304 words - Complete

1Moving
When it got to bedtime, Pete wondered why he’d chosen to bunk with Patrick so quickly. Sure, partly because he was annoyed at him being quite neglecting at the moment. But also because of his major, major problem with sleep. He was sure he wouldn’t be spending most of the night in bed anyway.

Slowly the crowded lounge cleared, and eventually it was just him, Joe and Sisky left. Evidently Patrick had already gone to bed.

Unless he’d gone somewhere quieter earlier on to talk to his ‘new best friend’…

Pete shook his head to rid himself of the thought.

I’m just being pessimistic, that’s all. It happens all the time.
But if he did…
Well, it wouldn’t be a big deal, would it? Just two friends hanging out.
But they hang out way too much! I’m getting pushed out of the picture here!
Don’t be so possessive and jealous. It’s not like you own him.


It seemed his shoulder angel and devil had come out to fight. Eventually he sidled up to the room to go and get a book to distract him, hoping to find Patrick there curled up fast asleep.

On arriving outside the door, he listened in quietly. Nothing. Gently he pushed the door open, trying to be quiet (despite Patrick being a heavy sleeper) but found the lamp on and Patrick looking at him quizzically, book in hand, hat still on for some reason.

‘Oh, I thought you’d be asleep by now.’
‘Nah, just reading. Can’t seem to nod off.’

Pete nodded slowly, and then turned to root through his bag for his own book. While he was looking he had a sudden thought.

Well… Patrick’s up, and actually here for once… I’ll be up for ages… Why not have a chat? Talk about anything and everything like we always do. Maybe it’ll remind him who his real best friend is.

Pete turned around and started to voice his thought. ‘Hey, Patrick?’
But Patrick was suppressing a yawn and putting the book back in his bag. ‘Mm?’
Never mind. Stow it away for another time.
‘…Nothing. Doesn’t matter.’
‘Are you sure? You’ve been acting sort of… weird lately.’
Patrick was actually looking up, looking concerned. Pete sighed. How was he going to explain to Patrick that he was feeling left out and insecure, without sounding like a little kid?
‘Come on, man. You can tell me.’
‘Well… I guess I – I’m just feeling a bit… left out of things. It’s like I’m not in the picture these days, y’know? You’re always with someone else.’ Out of the corner of his eye he saw Patrick roll his own eyes. That pushed Pete to the edge.
‘In fact, you’re always with Bill.’
Patrick actually smirked. ‘Come on, Pete. We’re working on an album. It takes time and energy, and teamwork. Plus he’s a good guy. So what if I hang around with him?’
‘But that’s the thing! You don’t hang with me any more! What about me?’
He put the book down and frowned at Pete. ‘Stop it! You sound like a little kid whose mom’s talking to someone else. What, are you jealous? Or just paranoid?’

There was silence as Pete slowly crossed to the door, slamming it shut behind him and storming downstairs. He couldn’t believe Patrick had worked it out so fast. And he hated the fact he was so insecure, and Patrick had made fun of it so carelessly…

He returned to the lounge only to find it empty. Looking at his watch he realised it was quite late for any normal sleeper to be up. 1:16am.

Now that Sisky was gone from the best spot on the sofa, he fell into it and started to read. It was an old favourite of his, On the Road by Jack Kerouac, and pretty soon he was sucked in, zooming across the country with Sal, Dean and Marylou. But halfway through the book he couldn’t help noticing… Dean was quite similar to Patrick. Dean had wild ideas sometimes but they were all somehow kept under control. He became ecstatic listening to music. He even had sideburns. And then, later on… Dean leaves his best friend Sal behind. When he’s most in need of help.

Pete closed the book and threw it down on the sofa, rubbing his forehead. What else can I do? It’s now… he checked his watch, 3:08am. Stupid freaking insomnia.

There was absolutely no one else to talk to, not even hotel staff. Everywhere was dark except for the lounge, which Pete found quite odd.

Maybe a walk will clear my head? Yeah, some fresh air… But what if the front door’s locked? And if it isn’t, what if it is when I get back?

Pete thought hard a while longer, but eventually gave up. He slouched out of the lounge, flicking off the light, and was suddenly in total darkness. Great. Gotta get to bed in the dark. He started up the stairs miserably. If only he’d shared with someone like Gabe instead. Gabe wouldn’t mind being woken up. At least he could talk to him. The long nights got so lonely these days, without someone there to hold in the dark…

Pete pushed all thoughts of home out of his mind as he opened the door quietly, not wanting to stay awake any longer. He did find Patrick asleep in the dark this time, curled into a little ball facing him, only his hair and his nose poking out from under the covers. He couldn’t deny that Patrick was quite cute when sleeping. But as he tiptoed over to the bed and climbed in next to him, he whimpered and turned over. Pete rolled onto his back and sighed.

Just a coincidence, Pete. He doesn’t really hate you. How could he tell if it was you anyway?

He picked his jeans off the floor and pulled out his phone, wanting to post something on Twitter before the night was through. But no words came to mind. After a few minutes of thinking he eventually thought of something to type.

with the holy con-man with the shining mind. but he has no idea that he is. goodnight america.

He wasn’t even sure it made sense to him, but it would do for the time being. As he gave a large yawn he suddenly realised he was tired at last, tired enough to sleep. Putting the phone on the bedside table he pulled the duvet covers up to his neck and tried to get comfortable. The most comfortable way, unfortunately, was facing Patrick. Pete couldn’t help but shuffle closer to Patrick’s warmth, even though he was angry with him, and soon enough he’d wrapped himself around him, stomach pressing against his back, chin resting on his shoulder.

Now I remember why I was so eager to bunk with him.

Within minutes Pete began to feel sleep overtake him, and being cuddled up to Patrick made him forget their problems. He even wondered if he was so tired because of Patrick. If so, he’d found the cure to his insomnia. There’ll be no sleeping in the spare room when we get home, he chuckled to himself.

He didn’t even stop to consider whether they’d still be friends and living together, let alone whether Ashlee would have forgiven him and he’d be back living with her. All he knew was that he was totally, completely exhausted. Rubbing his head against Patrick’s neck he sighed as his eyes drifted closed.

Goodnight, buddy.
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