A sweet oneshot dedicated to Gerard and my newborn cousin (:
My feet pace as wait for the moment I see your precious face.
Are you small?
Do you have long or short hair?
Are your eyes big?
My mind races at million miles per hour as mommy as I patiently wait to see you. I never thought I would feel this way, but my heart is nervous in all the right reasons. Its been such a long time, and now pretty soon you’ll be here in my arms staring back at me. Is this real? The hospital walls are closing in it seems, nurses checking to see if you’re okay. I’m confused, I’m worried, I’m scared, I’m excited, I’m thrilled, I’m nervous, I’m happy. Is it possible to feel all these things at once? Am I about to hit the floor, head first as its coming closer to finally meeting you, and mommy is screaming.
I look back at her, she’s pushing and breathing like a mad man. Yesterday is when it all began. The hospital, the waiting, the excitement of knowing you’ll be gracing us with your presence soon enough. It’s a rush, and I’m doing my best to take it all in baby. You’re making it impossible for me to stay calm.
Nine months ago you’re were barely nothing like a seed almost. Then the months suddenly pass and you’re growing into a baby. How is that possible? A seed turned into a baby? Its insane? Its life, and I’m slowly learning that every moment is precious. You’re teaching me that baby.
“Push!” Is all I hear around me. Such a simple word, yet it’s the most tough thing to do. I hear panting and refusal from your mom, but she’s doing so good baby. I know you’ll love her. She’s gonna love you too.
I’m watching you come out and I can’t decide if I should run out the door or if I should cover my mouth and bare it. Crimson spills and I’m rather nauseous, but you’re important and I don’t wanna miss a thing.
Then it happened. Somewhere along the long hours of you arriving, I hear you. You’re crying fills the room and I smile automatically. Hair so much hair. Eyes closed but fighting to open them and look at your new surrounding. I thought I was scared, but how do you feel? Out of the comfort of where you developed and into the place we call life. You see lights, you hear sounds, and I know you must be thinking the worst. But you’re fine baby. You’re here with us, and I promise we’re gonna lavish you and make you feel at home, because that’s where you belong and that’s where you at now. With us.
I’m not going to lie, I didn’t know what to do at first. The moment I found out you were inside barely a speckle, I knew it would change my life. I’ve done some unexplainable things in my life, some of which I regret. But not you little one. I realize that now. Not a day went by that I thought about this day.
You’re in my arms and I’m speechless. You’re perfect baby.
10 fingers, ten toes, beautiful eyes, adorable nose, and again so much hair. I’m so scared to hold you, you look so fragile and your body wriggles as its wrapped in a blanket. You’re trying so hard to keep your eyes open, but you’re so small. I’m in a daze and everything seems to slow down as I focus just on you. Do you know what you’re doing to me?
“Pretty.” I whisper. Why I did that? I don’t know, because its not enough to describe what you are. I adore you, I cherish you, I love you. Yes, I love you. It feels my heart and runs through my veins as I witness this breath taking moment before me. Perfect.
Its been a long journey and now you’re physically here. Now I’m able to touch you, hold you in my arms, and think about how you changed me for the better. Your mouth moves and I beam as you’re slowly falling back to sleep. Whimpers come out, and it’s the most amazing sound I have ever heard. Its from you.
I may have done things in the past life, but you’re showing it doesn’t matter. This is present time, and for the fist time in my life I look forward to the future baby, and I owe it all to you. Thank you baby for making me realize the smallest things are the best things.
Now rest little one, its been a long two days for all of us. Close your eyes and dream the sweetest of dreams. When you wake up, I’ll be here. I’ll always be here for you baby.
And even if I was lost for so long and not having a single clue what has happening to me, one look at you made me see.
Don’t let a single moment pass you by. Cherish them forever and always remember the times that made you happy. I didn’t realize that at first.
I looked into your eyes.
I kissed your soft pink cheeks.
Why am I acting this way, and why do I feel like I’m flying on clouds?
I held your small soft wiggling little hands.
Now I understand.
A/N: Dedicated to…..
Victoria Mikayla Garcia.
August 26th 2009. 12:55 pm. PST.
7.5 pounds and the most gorgeous thing ever. I love you little one. xoxo