The Chapter title says it all!
Sitting in the hospital was awful.
I was so scared about Jared but I had to try my hardest to hide it.
Tomo was in the delivery room with Jo but it was hard to feel pleased for him when I was worried sick about my baby brother. We had dropped Tim home on the way here. Em was sitting next to me with her head resting on my shoulder. Jen was pacing the corridor making me more nervous.
"Jen, sit down," I said softly, trying not to let on how worried I was. I had to stay calm for the girls.
Jen sat down on my other side, still fidgeting.
Eventually a nurse came out and I went over to talk to her.
"Is he gonna be alright?" I asked eagerly.
"I'm afraid we don't know for sure yet, sir," she said, "He has a very bad injury to the head, a broken rib and has damaged some of his vertebrae, so if he does survive there is a chance he may be paralysed."
My heart sunk. I couldn't imagine J being confined to a wheel chair, he'd hate it.
"Someone will come out and tell you if you can see him," she said and walked away.
'When' I thought to myself, 'When we can see him.'
Putting on a straight face I walked back towards the girls. Tomo was there. I crossed my fingers behind my back praying it was good news.
"Shan!" he called turning and seeing me, "It's a boy, I'm a dad!" he sounded so happy.
"Congratulations! Are mum and baby both healthy?" I asked still praying nothing was wrong.
"Yep, absolutely fine."
"Come on, what's he called?" said Em smiling for the first time since we got to the hospital; in fact they all were. I did not want to be the one to change that.
"Tadzi," he said, "Little Tadzi Milicevic. I'm gonna go back to Jo. You'll be able to come in soon."
Tomo ran off; leaving me to talk to the girls.
"So, when can we see Jared?" Jen asked.
"I don't know," I said, trying to stay together.
"He's okay, right? I mean, we will be able to see him?" said Jen.
"Oh God, what's wrong?" asked Em as my face fell.
"They don't know he's definitely gonna make it." I said, desperately swallowing back the lump in my throat. "Even if he does, he might be paralysed."
Jen broke down. "Oh God, how can I live without him? I love him so much." She sobbed
I put my arm round her. "Hey he might be fine." I said; trying to persuade myself as well as her.
"Oh God, how can I live without him? I love him so much." cried Jen.
I stood frozen in the middle of the corridor. I don't think anyone here could live without him. Without him everything would be so different, so boring. He's the life and soul of everything.
"Hey, he might be fine." Said Shan and, although he tried to hide it, I saw a tear run down his cheek.
He wiped it away as Tomo came out with Tadzi in his arms. I half smiled and went over.
"What's wrong?" he asked, giving Tadzi to me.
"It's Jared," I said, "He might not make it."
"But he still could, right?" asked Tomo hopefully.
"Yeah, but even then he could be paralysed," replied Shannon.
Just then a nurse came over; I think it was the same one Shannon spoke to earlier.
"Can we see him now?" I asked hopefully as Jen looked up.
"Yes," she said. "He's just regained consciousness, but only one person can be in there at a time."
"Hey, give Tadzi here and you can go in first." said Shan to me.
I handed him over and followed the nurse down the corridor.
"Does that mean he's gonna be alright?" I said looking at Shannon.
"I guess so," he said.
I smiled and nodded and Shan gave Tadzi to me.
"You can hold him now," he said, "And when Em gets back you can go in to see Jared."
"Thanks," I smiled.
A couple of minutes later and Em had returned. I gave Tomo his son back and went down the corridor towards Jared. I pushed open the door.
"Jen," said J as he saw me, "I'm sorry."
"Hey, don't apologise. It's not your fault." I said.
"It is. I shouldn't have done what I did. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. You are the most precious thing in my world," he said.
"Oh, Jared," I said, fighting back tears, "Don't you ever leave me, ever."
"I won't, I promise," he whispered.
"How long are you gonna be in here?" I asked
"I dunno, they haven't said; they haven't told me anything."
"So, you don't know anything?" I asked.
"Em told me what they've told you." he said, "I ache so much though I haven't really tried to move."
"That's probably best," I said. "Did Em tell you about Jo?" I asked
"No, what's happened?" he said eagerly.
"She's had it!" I said, "I won't say anything else. I'll leave it to Jo and Tomo."
"Great!" said Jared stifling a yawn.
"I'll go and let Shannon come in, and then you can get some rest." I said leaning over and kissing him on the forehead.
"I'll see you later," he said as I left the room.
When Shannon came back out later on he was talking to the nurse again. He came over with a relieved look on his face.
"Everything's gonna be okay," he said, "J's definitely gonna make it and after he's had some rest they'll give him a wheelchair so that he can come and see Jo and Tadzi."
"So he's paralysed?" I asked.
"Not for definite, less he does the lower the chance."
"There's a pretty high chance then!" said Em.
"Don't worry, I'll tie him to chair if I have to!" I joked.
"Cruel to be kind, eh?" laughed Shan and I smiled back. It was such a relief to be smiling and joking after all the worry.
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