A night at sea-- Riku laments verbally, for once.
Which brought Riku onto more personal matters. He knew he had to apologize to Tidus but he planned on putting it off as long as possible, still not yet certain of the other boy’s character towards this type of situation. Riku suspected he got into a lot of fights with his dad, so that meant to be genuinely forgiven he had to be either extremely sincere or extremely understanding, depending on how often the two made amends with each other or more relatively, how often Jecht took the blame.
Riku was leaning to the never side on that boat but he couldn’t totally think for sure... So he discarded that wondering, instead coming to think in the chance that it all blew over. It appeared that Tidus’d fully thought coming through, but how much did he even know about the trip? Like, did he know where he was going? How exactly it was they were going to save Sora? It seemed odd for a kid of his intelligence to completely drop all prior inhibitions for a trip that he knew nothing about, a partner who hadn’t planned anything, and a person he was only duly aquatinted with. (He couldn’t remember Tidus and Sora ever being that greater friends...) Was his ‘fully thought coming through’ the same as Riku’s-- could Riku trust him?
He supposed it didn’t matter in the greater scheme of things now, as they were already fighting about one thing. They’d cross that bridge when they came to it, if they did, and if not, then it was never meant to be crossed anyway.
Riku’d find Sora, with or without Tidus.
When the other boy finally awoke they were halfway across the ocean and the sun was halfway across the sky, Riku was counting ceiling tiles to avoid the thoughts swirling inside his head and the insufferable boredom creeping up on him.
Six hundred and fifty two... Six hundred and fifty three... “Hey.” He said.
Six hundred and fifty... Oh damn, lost his place again. “Awake, are you?”
“Yeah.” Riku looked over to him. Tidus was looking over at the bulging cupboard.
“Getting late, isn’t it?” Tidus seemed startled, and he replied only with a quiet “yeah.”
“Wanna go outside and see at the sunset?” Riku hadn’t stopped looking at him.
“Aren’t you worried about getting caught?” Shaking his head, Riku took Tidus’s hand as Kairi would so often those long years ago and led him outside to the edge of the shipdeck.
Riku didn’t let go of Tidus’s hand. “Beautiful, huh?” He murmured.
“So different from the view at the islands.” The water was calmer here, smooth and glistening like it had a coat of wax, the massive ship running with its ripples and waves made no effect at all to the water they were looking at. The sun shone.
It reminded him of a lot of things, of torches in their backpacks and Sora being his light, Selphie’s penchant for finding hidden meanings in things emerging through. He only realised or remembered now how Sora was Latin for sky and Kairi for water, the thing that came between, Riku for land. How Tidus had once told him that his name meant sunshine and how he hated it because it was girly, but how it reminded him of the light that’s just a little too bright – could the water be only it’s astranged reflection? – and how it now made him think of light and grass needing water but also needing sun, his year seven science experiment never completed.
How Selphie always realised hidden meanings before him.
“Tidus,” Riku said and all of a sudden it was so much harder to speak, his voice was gravely. “I’m so sorry.” He’d meant to put it off but it’d just come out. “For before.”
“It’s alright.” Tidus replied. “I know your protective side comes out a little differently sometimes.”
In Riku-speak, that translated to ‘you might think your dark is as black as night but it’s only as dark as darkness, you have a light behind everything, even the voice that told you to go to Midgar, you think it’s hidden but you don’t know that the shadows in the dark know where the light in the darkness is, you think that just because you can’t see them then they can’t see you, if you close your eyes then reopen them I might replace them someday. You’re wrong, but the light won’t get behind your eyes to trick you like they will, it might destroy you from afar, but I won’t stray from the light if you don’t.’
Which wasn’t right because Tidus didn’t even know about any of those things and wasn’t nearly as complicated as Riku but it was the only way Riku could think about it without being overly sentimental.