Take a peak at my life, see what I go through.. or read it, whatever
August 25, 1992
"I am so sick of this. I don't do anything to anybody, yet they feel the need to do something to me. And when it's not at school it's at home. When it's not there its from some random gang on the street. This has happened to me for as long as I can remember, so I've found a few ways to get away from it all. There's the occassional ditching, which results in bad grades. Eh, who cares? There's the game of playing 'completely helpless,' where I just tough it out. And then there's the choice of taking my problems to the Principle or a counselor. But usually I choose te first two. Even if it means getting it even worse at home, from my parents. My mom doesn't beat me or kick me quite like my father does, but it still feels the same because she never does anything about it. And there's really nothing I can do, because nobody else knows, not even my counselor who, by the way, is my father's best friend. So really, that doesn't work out too well. In fact, he verbally abuses me, telling me how bad of a child I've always been, skipping school, failing classes, running away from home...
Oh how I love to run away. Run as far away as I can. Far to the East, and far to the West, as fast as a freight train can go. I never sleep, I never eat, I'm constantly on the run. And when it all comes back to me, i know I'm right at home. But this is not the air I breathe, the sweet sweet scent I know. It's just a dream, a dream of dreams, where nothing comes my way. Except for a shoe, that plans to meet who it comes for, day by day. That would be me, for as you can see, i mean nothing at all, to them.
Ha ha that's the song I always sing to myself. i think that by singing this I'm convincing myself that this isn't really my family. Families care about their kids, and protect them from evil, mean people. But not mine. Mine are just as evil as the nearest drug dealer down the street. I seriously don't know how or why it had to be that I had to be born into this family. If it was just my brother, this family woul be just fine. But then again everything always happens for a reason. I guess God, if there really is one, just doesn't love me. But thankfully I have a wonderful grandma, Elena Lee Rush, to take care of me when I'm bloody and broken.
Sure, I have friends, but they'll never help me out when I'm in trouble. Spence and Adam are a bunch of jocks, and to add the fact that they are deathly afraid for their reputations of being two of the most popular guys in school. They told me face to face that hey wouldn't be caught dead hanging out with me. Only on weekends, occassionally, they would hang out with me, or talk to me. At other times they would slip notes to me saying where to meet them at certain times to warn me to be prepared for whatever Doug Williams or Lenny Espinoza were gonna do to me after a class. To tell the truth, they can't really be counted as friends, seeing as they would rather leave me helpless than risk their reps. They used to be just like me, a nobody, until they discovered that they would be accepted as quarterbacks. They were better off popular than not because otherwise they'd be worse off than me. They used to get beat at home, too.
I don't even know why I'm writing all this, instead of listening to Mr. Johnson drone on about our founding fathers. Wait, I swear he just said my last name...."
I stopped writing and looked up at Mr. Johnson. I raised my hand and waited for him to notice. Finally, he called my name.
"Yes, Mr. Way?"
"Um, I was wondering about the last name you just read."
"Ah yes, I had a feeling you'd ask. Sir Arthur Donald Way, one of our wonderful founding fathers."
"But that's my grandfather!"
"Yes sir, it is. He was very important to this school. You'd do well to remember that." After this was said, the bell rang.
"Class dismissed!" he called, apparently not noticing that almost everyone was already gone. I quickly gathered my things and rushed of to my favorite class; Art. That's when I remembered. To get to art on time, I had to go through the Senior Hall. Crap. I sure hope Doug isn't waiting for me!
I quickly went down the hall, almost at a run. That's when I bumped into him. Doug, the meanest, toughest, and strongest of our school's football team, looked down at me, pretty much growling through his teeth.
"Well well well, if it isn't the kid I've been waiting all morning for. Why don't we take a little walk, eh?" he said, practically picking me off my feet as he -I mean we- turned around, heading towards the Mens Restroom. Oh God, I knew what was coming. He chuckled loudly. I started struggling against his grip, trying to get away. This did nothing, seeing as he only held me tighter, and walked faster. Apparently he can't wait to flush my head down the toilet. I glanced at his watch on the arm he was holding me with. Darn it, I only have two minutes to get to art! Oh, I hope this on's a lot quicker than last time.
We got to the bathroom and I was automatically forced into a stall, and was puched to my hands and knees in front of a toilet. He tried to put my head down low enough, but I was still trying to prevent that. See, even though I don't wash my hair everyday, I still prefer to it myself than have Dough do it. The pressure was straining my neck, and it felt like it would snap any second. Cursing slightly, I gave in. About five minutes later Doug left me, my face still in the toilet. I pulled it out and quietly looked around. Good, no Dough.
I got up, grabbed my bag, and ran out of there all the way to Art. I looked in my bag at my cellphone and saw I was only about four minutes late. I leaned over and shook my head so that I wouldn't get my clothes too much wetter. Or, for that matter, my art. Then I waslke dinto the class, head down, and sat in a random seat next to another boy, and across from a couple of girls who were probably the snobbiest and most stuck up popular girls in this school. As soon as I sat down, I noticed they were laughing and snickering at the boy next to me. I looked over at him from the corner of my eye and saw what he was drawing. He looked like he was concentrating pretty hard, and didn't even notice the girls. I smirked.
"A unicorn? Who draws a unicorn?" I asked, taking out my drawing utensils.
This, apparently, he noticed. He finished witht he dark outlines and looked up at me. "I do. Deal with it or move," he said simply. I just looked him in the eye. This scared him, I guess, because he quickly looked back to his drawing and started shading it in with a black pencil.
"Ooh, look what Gerard did! What's the matter kid? Not fraid of anybody else but poor old rotten Gerard?" Heather, the girl on the left, asked with her very annoying high pitched voice. The kid just continued to draw.
Then he started to color it in. The mane and tail were purple and pink, with a little bit of blue mixed in. Then he did the body. They body was amazing. He colored it in with a kind of silvery white. I was absolutely mesmerized with this kids' art. I wateched next as he started to add trees and birds and clouds.It looked so real, like if I touched it I would feel the wind moving the trees, and I'd feel the pretty unicorns' coat of silver. I was startled out of my wits when Mrs. Penny, the art teacher, tapped my back with her long, frail fingers.
"Mr. Way? Please come with me to my office." she said, already heading off. Heather and her friend Maria just snickered as I got up and walked away. When I got into her little office room, she had me sit down in a chair.
"Yes Mrs. Penny?"
"As I understand it, you were late. Why?"
"Yes Mrs. Penny."
"I repeat; why?"
I knew she wouldn't believe me, even if I told the truth, so I did.
"I got my head flushed down the toilet by Doug Williams."
Her face went from somewhat soft to very stern. She pursed her lips.
"Mr. Way! I do not tolerate those kinds of lies! I absolutely cannot believe you would even attempt such a lie. Now, you know what this means, don't you?" she asked, tapping her feet.
"You call my father?"
"And your mother and grandmother, yes. Go back to class, now."
I nodded and walked toward the door.
"Oh, and Mr. Way? Fix your tie and shirt please."
I nodded once again and walked out the door and back to my seat. I looked over at the drawing and discovered it was gone. I was disappointed. But I soon got over it when I began drawing my own art. I decided to draw a picture of two people, an and a woman, in a hopital morgue. The woman was on the bed and the man was sobbing in a chair next to her, holding her cold, lifeless hand. I drew the tools used in an autopsy and put some blood on them. I decided that she had been in a car crash, and then on an other piece of paper drew the crash. Then I colored both sheets of papter in, and sat back in my chair, quite satisfied. But not because of my picture, but because the people in my picture were none other than Doug and his girlfriend, Susanna Ruth. I noticed a shadow haning over my picture and looked up to find that kid looking at my drawings. I looked back down at my work and smiled.
Then the bell rang. I slowly put my stuff away and walked out of the room. I had to go back down the Senior Hall again, in order to get to Science. Once again I hurried down the hall, looking all around me to make sure Doug wan't waiting behind any corners. I walked right past the bathroom, and then turned back. I heard yelling coming from inside. I peeked in and saw none other than Doug, beating on some poor innocent kid, whom I couldn't see. I quickly thought of an idea. I went back a few steps ad then ran into the bathroom, going straight to a stall.
"Teacher's coming D!" I called in a deeper voice as I pretended to urinate. I heard him hit the kid one last time, heard one last grunt of pain from the kid, and then heard Doug walk out. I poked my head out the door of my stall and made sure Doug was actually gone. Then I waslked over towards the door and looked out. I caught a glimpse of Doug turning a corner to go to the gym. Then I went over to the boy.
"Hey, its OK, he's gone now," I said as soon as I realized he was crying.
"Th-thanks," he said. he was still in a ball when I got up and came back with a wet cloth.
"I, um, I need you to roll over, OK? Just for a bit."
He nodded and rolled onto his back. Then it hit me. It was that boy from my art class! I put the cloth on the side of his face that was all scratched up and bleeding. He flinched at first, but then relaxed.
"So, how come he got you?"
"Oh, he saw my drawing of the unicorn and ripped it up, then noticed I had eye liner on my face. He said something about hating people like me, and then just started kicking me. Are you friends with him?
"Doug? No way, not me. I'm actually his main victim. Are you new?"
"Yeah, just got here in time for Art. By the way, you draw really well."
"Thank, you do too. Gerard Way."
"Frank Iero. Are you a Freshman?"
"Naw, I'm a sophomore. Doug's a Senior, so he beats on us littlies. Well, anyone who dresses like me, I guess."
Then I noticed what he was wearing. He had the school uniform shirt on, along with the tie, but instead of the usual ugly pants he wore tight skinny jeans that had holes in the knees. I looked at his face, which had a lip ring on it. His ears were gaged, and he had red eye liner on. His hair covered half of his face though, which made him look almost as white as me.
"What?" he asked.
"Oh nothing. I just noticed your ears are pierced."
He looked at me funny, which made me say, "It's just I have a big fear of needles, so I don't get how you could do that."
"Oh, well I love needles, so I guess it just doesn't bother me. So um, what do you have next?"
"Science with Rogers."
"Oh. I've got History with-"
"Johnson. I already had him."
"Oh. So, I guess we better go."
"Yeah, I guess. Actally, I was wondering if you wanted to ditch with me?"
"Sure! But how? I mean there's cameras everywhere."
"Well not in the bathrooms. And certainly not on the outside of the school."
"OK then, let's go!"
I nodded and grabbed my bag. I waited for him to get up with his and then left out the window. Seeing as Frank was shorter than me, I had to help him get down.
"OK, be quiet and follow me," I whispered. He nodded.
I found my way through the bushes and then ran all the way to the woods that were about 50 yards or so away from the school. I turned around and say Frank running as fast as his shorter legs would allow him, an so I waited. Then I headed off again, this time going deeper into the woods, to where my hide-out was.
"Where are we going?" Frank asked.
"To my hide-out. Just be careful, because there are animals in here."
Soon, after about 10 minutes, I came to the cave. I moved the bushes that hid the entrance and told Frank to go inside. He slowly climbed down the steps until he reached the bottom. Then I moved the bushes back where they were and climbed down too.
"Whao, it's so dark," Frank said, obviously amazed.
"Yeah, hang on and I'll fix it. Just don't move," I warned as I made my way toward the candles and flash lights. It wasn't that dark to me, because I was used to the dark by now. I flipped a few switches on the flash lights and lighted a few candles. Suddenly it was bright, and I could see all the covwebs that the spiders had left. These cave spiders loved the darkness, and when it was bright they couln't see anything and usually just died. I looked over at Frank, and saw him staring in horror at the webs. Or so I thought that was why..
"Don't worry, the spiders only come out when it's pitch black."
"That's not why gulp I'm scared," he said. "Th-that's why!" He pointed over towards the back of the cave. I followed his gaze, and my eyes fell upon a large black wolf.
"Don't..move..or else it'll eat us," I said quietly. I slowly moved my eyes to the side and saw a sharp stick. Then I slowly reached out my arm to grab it. The wolf followed my movements with its' eyes, quietly growling deep down in its throat.
"Gerard, what are you doing?" Frank whispered, his voice shaky.
"Just stay still."
I wrapped my fingers around the stick and slowly lifted it up and back towards me. I almost had it in front of me when the wolf suddenly lunged at me and Frank. Frank screamed and ran behind me, while I held the sharp end of the stick out towards the advancing wolf. Then it jumped at me, and I had a gut feeling that it was going to rip my throat out....
Oh noez! Will the big bad wolf make a meal outta Gerard and Frank? Tune in next time for the answer! WOO!
Okay.. THAT was dorky..
I apologize :)