Never gonna be okay
I stand up, I can't sit any longer, and I wanna talk to these guys.
I stand in front of Gerard, with my back turned to him. I use my tied hands to find the tape on his mouth and ripped it off.
I heard him yelp in pain. I turned around.
"Fuck, Tina -" I pressed my taped lips to his to shut him up. I didn't want to hear it. There is nothing he can do
to make me feel better.
I moved away from him, but his teeth grab the tape and he rips it off me. I to, yelp in pain.
I mumble a 'thanks'. I turn around again wanting him to untie me, and that he did. It took a while and his teeth most probably hurt now, but he did untie me.
My wrists hurt so much, there were marks from where I was tied.
I stopped thinking about me for to help the guys. I untied Gerard, who then helped Mikey and Ray as I helped Bob and Frank.
Once everyone was free, they all stood together while I stood on the other side of the room.
I didn't look at them. They'll hate me now. They wouldn't want to be friends with someone who was raped. It's all my fault, why didn't I try and stop the motherfucker knocking me out? Why didn't I help the guys more? We wouldn't be here now if I tried harder.
I heard footsteps. Getting closer. They stopped right in front of me. I still didn't look up. I couldn't. I didn't want to see hatred for me in any of their eyes.
It surprised me when I saw a hand held out to me.
I looked up slowly. It was Gerard, of course. Tears came to my eyes. I slowly took his right hand in my left and he quickly pulled me into a hug. I broke down. The tears wouldn't stop. I cried so hard that I collapsed, but I never let go of Gerard's shirt.
"It's okay. You have a good cry. Let it all out. I'm so sorry." He whispered in my ear, I could tell he was crying too. He stroked my hair as he rocked me back and forth.
He kept kissing my hair, telling me every thing's gonna be okay.
"But it's not gonna be okay Gee. It's never gonna be okay." I choked.