Did it ever occur to you?
I felt the other side of my bed, and it was cold. Like nobody had slept there the entire night.
"Was it a dream?" I asked myself. I looked under the covers and saw I was naked, "Nope. Not a dream."
But then...where's Gerard? I can't remember most of yesterday, I think I had been crying too much. But I remember Gerard being there, so...it must have been him I slept with.
Well, I wouldn't with anyone else.
Then it hit me. The crying, the hugging, the kissing, him carrying me up here, undressing me...everything.
I sighed and got up to get dressed, I'll worry about a shower later. I needed to talk to Gerard first.
I slowly made my way downstairs, hoping he was still here. I don't want him to regret it, because I don't!
There was a light on in the kitchen, which meant it was still early if a light needed to be on. I looked in there, and at the table with a coffee in front of him, was a crying Gerard.
Why was he crying?
"Gerard?" He looked up at me, then back at his coffee.
I went to sit next to him and linked his arm, resting my head on his shoulder, "What's wrong?" He just shook his head, "Please tell me Gerard." He shook his head again, I sighed, "Is it something to do with last night?"
He didn't do anything for a minute, but then slowly nodded, "I just feel as if...I've fucked everything up now."
"Because...you were in a very vulnerable state last night, and I took advantage of you when I shouldn't have -"
"Whoa, Gerard. I made the first move -"
"Yeah, but I could've, and I should've stopped it." His words hurt me.
"You mean that...you didn't want to..." I trailed off, on the verge of tears.
"What? No, of course I did, but I don't think that you wanted to...you were upset and you needed someone to comfort you, and I was there to...comfort you."
I couldn't take any more. I didn't want to hear any more. I jumped from my chair and ran back upstairs, slamming door shut, and crying into my pillow, which smelt of him. This only made it worse.
I was too busy crying to notice someone sat on my bed and started stroking my hair.
"Tina, I'm sor -"
"No! You're not Gerard!" I screamed in his face, tears painting my eyes red, and my face black, "Why did you say those things! Did it ever occur to you that I wanted to sleep with you last night whether I was in a vulnerable state last night or not!? Did it ever occur to you that I do actually like you!? DID IT EVER FUCKING OCCUR TO YOU GERARD!?"
"Tina I -"
"No Gerard! You fucking listen to me! I thought you liked me! You told me you might be in love with me! But that's bullshit! Because now we've actually had sex, you're making up some lame excuse not to be with me! You don't want to be with me. You just wanted to have sex with me, just like every other guy." By the end of that, I had stopped shouting, "Get out."
Gerard looked into my eyes and I saw that he was holding back tears of his own, "Please Tina, let me exp -"
"GET OUT GERARD!" He listened to me that time and he got up off my bed and walked out, closing the door behind him.
I never want to see him ever again!