FicWad

It was silent the next morning when Ivy and I ate breakfast. We hadn't said a word to each other since last night, and I felt terrible.

She probably thinks I'm mad at her. But I'm not. I'm mad at myself. I totally understand about wanting to wait until I remember. I will wait forever for her.

She might also think that I'm some sex addict or something. I'm not. I'm really not. I want a special, meaninful relationship with someone...Ivy. I hadn't really realized until last night how much I care for, and love Ivy. In just a few short weeks, I fell in love with her.

I had to apologise to her. Something needed to be said between us.

"Ivy, I'm really sorry about last night. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself." I told her.

She shook her head, "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have led you on like that."

I smiled, "So we're cool?" She nodded, "Cool." We laughed.

It was silent for a while longer, but not as long as it was before. I didn't like the silence, I never had. It's like, everyone who was in a certain place together in silence, were keeping their feelings bottled up, and were to scared to say anything.

Finally, I broke the silence, "I'm gonna go to that Lacuna place today. I was hoping you would come with me...?" I trailed off.

She raised her head and her big blue eyes stared right into my hazel orbs. She smiled, "I'd love to."

**

Again, it was silent, but it wasn't at the table, it was in my car on the way to Lacuna. But I can understand why.

This could be my only chance of ever remember Ivy. If this didn't work, I don't know what I'd do. I don't know what Ivy would do either. What would happen to us? Would there be an 'us'?

I really hope this does work though. I want to know Ivy. And maybe after today, me and her can...celebrate.

No, no, no! Why am I thinking like that? I didn't just want sex with her. I wanted to love her, more than I do now.

But I can't stop my mind from thinking about what she looks like naked -

"Gerard? What are you thinking?" I heard Ivy ask, out of the blue.

I whipped my head round, "Oh, nothing. Nothing." I told her, with a smile. She raised her eyebrows, but said no more about it.

When we arrived, after almost an hour of trying to find the place itself, we didn't really know what to do next. Not one of us made any attempt to exit the car. It was like we were scared of what was going to happen. It was like we both expected this to be a wated trip, and nothing would go back to normal.

Like always, it was me who broke the silence, "I guess we should go in there then huh?"

Ivy nodded slowly, "I guess so." She smiled slightly and got out the car, closely followed by me.

I caught up with her, and hesintantly took hold of her hand. She tensed, but then relaxed. I smiled.

Sooner than I wanted, we arrived at the front desk. A young lady with bleach blonde hair sat behind it, "Hi, welcome to Lacuna. What can I do for you?" She asked in a polite manner.

"Yeah, hi. I'm looking for a," I looked at the card in my pocket, "Doctor Barone."

She nodded and picked up the phone beside her. After hanging up she said, "He'll be down in a minute. Take a seat please."

I nodded and sat down in an empty seat. Ivy sat next to me, her hands in her lap, playing with her fingers.

Minutes later, after yet again more silence, a male doctor came up to us, "Hi, I'm Doctor Barone, can I help you?"

I stood up, "Yeah. I'm Gerard Way, I think I came here a few years ago. You took some memories from me that I want back." I told him bluntly.

He studied my face for a moment then spoke, "Yes, Gerard Way. I remember you. Erased the memories of a Miss Ivarine Bellamy."

I turned my head to Ivy, "Ivarine?"

Her face turned red, "My mom thought it was original, but I hate it." I raised an eyebrow, and turned back.

Barone looked over to Ivy, "You're Miss Bellamy?" She nodded, "I see. And you want your memories back?" I nodded.

He sighed, "We don't normally do that. Once the memories are gone, then they're gone. But, if some reason, you want them back...I'm afraid the procedure is extremely painful. Very few people have done it -"

"Wait a minute. Painful? Is this so people don't reverse it?"

He shook his head, "We didn't realize the reverse was painful, until our first patient. We've tried to make it a lot more comforting, but everything we've tried has failed."

I thought about this. I wanted to remember Ivy. And I would do anything to make sure I do.

"I want this procedure. I don't care what I have to pay, how painful it is, I want it done."

Barone sighed, defeated, "Okay. I can fit you in in two days. How's Wednesday?"

I smiled, "Perfect."

He sighed again, "Okay then. I'll see you some time Wednesday. This is to give you some time to think about this. It's very painful, it could cause some sort of disability, deafness, blindness, or even death. Please think about it. If you don't come in on Wednesday, I'll know you've made the right choice."

I gave him one last look before walking past him, and back to my car with Ivy.

I heard her open her side of the car and get in, "Gerard, I think you need to really think about -"

Before she had time to finish, I quickly kissed her hard on the lips, my hands resting on her waist. I pulled away slowly, my eyes still closed, "I will remember you Ivy. Even if it's the last thing I do."

I pecked her lips again before sitting back up in my seat, and starting the car.

Ivy’s POV.

“I just don’t think you should have it done Gerard”

We were currently standing in the middle of our hotel room fighting over him having the procedure done.

“And why not Ivy?” He yelled at me.

“Didn’t you listen to a word he said to you, if you have it done Gerard, you could DIE” I yelled.

“He said there was a possibility I could die Ivy, not that it was certain”

“I just don’t want to lose you” I said quietly.

“Oh Ivy” He said as he came to hug me “I promise you, I’m not going anywhere, I just want to remember you”

“Gerard I take it all back” I Whispered.

“What?” He asked.

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t remember me, I don’t give a fuck.” I said.

“Ivy, I am going to remember you, do you hear me” He asked, brushing the tears from my cheeks.

I nodded.

“No matter what Ivy, by Wednesday I will remember everything about you.” He said as he lightly pressed his lips to mine.

We stood together hugging before Gerard’s phone went off. He looked at the display before sighing

“Mikey picks the best times to call” He said while walking off to take the call.

Maybe it wouldn’t be all that bad for him to get the procedure done. I just didn’t want to lose him. He means so much to me. I thought that maybe I would be able to forget about him, but I can’t. He was everywhere. And now that I have him back, I’m not letting him go anywhere.