"Are we, you know, still together?" I think about that. Would it be immature to break up with him just because there's a possibility he's lying?
Anyway, so this chapter is dedicated to all the girls out there who are going through what Amy here is going through, at the moment. Even if she IS just a work of fiction (coughcough) Ha ha okay, maybe just her life as a whole, I mean I would KILL to tour with My Chem! But anyway, READ ON!
P.S. Once again, tell me if there are any mistakes (spelling or other wise) I don't have a thing to check the chapter with. I just use my eyes, which aren't very reliable.
"Hey Amy, there's someone here to see you!" Sarah yells at me. I sigh and sit up, leaning back against the couch that I'm sitting on. Remember, us girls kept the bus that we've been using for the past month or so. Stretching, I stand up slowly and walk to my bunk, pulling out some clean clothes. It's been so much easier, changing whenever I need to, without the boys being around to walk in on me. Taylor's taken advantage of that, by the way. She's taken to walking around in practically nothing but a bra and her boxers. Sarah, Laura, and I are pretty much the only ones who actually wear real pajamas.
"Whoever it is, tell them I'm busy changing!" I yell back at Sarah, examining my black tank top. It hasn't been washed in a while, but it doesn't really smell. I toss it onto my bunk and pull out a dark purple lacey bra (along with matching underwear) and my favorite pair of dark blue skinnies. Not hearing a reply from Sarah, I quickly pull off my Stewie pajamas and pull on the bra and undergarment, then slip into my blue skinnies and tug on my tank top. Covering up my dirty clothes with my blanket, I dig around in my small backpack thing for some deoderant to hide the fact that I've been too lazy to take a shower. I mean the way I figure, if my hair isn't greasy I can easily slide by with just wiping myself clean with a wash cloth. For now, anyway. When it comes time for our next concert, I'll probably take a quick shower before. That way the stylists don't bitch at me because my hair is being uncooperative. And in case you're wondering.. I'm still plucking my hair. At least my pits, ha. My legs, however, are a different story. Since I haven't been hanging out with Jeremy as of late, and I always wear jeans because it's so cold outside, my legs can afford to miss out on a shave now and then. Or a pluck, whatever. Shaving is easier, but plucking gets better results.
"Are you done yet?" Sarah calls back. I smile and walk out into the front room, not sure of who's actually waiting for me. Nobody's in the room except Sarah and Laura. I raise a brow at her and she points to the front door. I slip on my Vans. "I told him he wasn't allowed in." I mouth 'oh' and walk, a little hesitantly, towards the door. With one last look towards Sarah, who smiles, I open the door and step out. And who do I find waiting for me? Jeremy. I sigh.
"Hey, Amy." I half expect him to wrap me up in a hug, like he normally does, or did, but he doesn't. He keeps his distance, hands in his pockets, while I lean against the bus.
"Hey, Jeremy." I look everywhere else but at him. I'm afraid that if I do, I'll pounce on him and forgive him for this whole thing. Actually, I've already forgiven him for everything he's done in the past few days. It's just my way. But that doesn't mean that I'll forget it, at least not for a while. "What brings you here? Boredom?" He takes a deep breath, shuffles his feet a little bit.
"I just wanted to see you. Is that a crime now?" he asks softly. I close my eyes and mumble that no, it isn't, and he sighs. "Do you want me to leave?"
Yes, Jeremy, I do, I think, but instead I say, "No." I don't know why, but I just didn't want to be alone with Sarah and Laura at the moment. I'd been separating myself from everyone but them for the past two days, ever since I confronted Jeremy with the cheating thing, and it just wasn't doing anything for me. I was bored out of my mind, and everyone else was out doing something exciting. Taylor and Jackie were at the theme park down the street from where we were currently parked. Rhianna and Leah were gone, too. Before, I'd watch horror flicks with Sarah and Laura (who would later leave to hang out with "a boy" -I suspect it was Connor) and tried over and over again to forget about everything else but the killer and the helpless victim.
I didn't exactly go out of my way not to get stuck alone with Jeremy, but it always seemed like it. Sarah went everywhere with me, because we've become really close, and Laura sometimes came with us when she wasn't busy with other things, so I guess Jeremy just assumed that I was purposely avoiding him. Like I said, I wasn't. I wanted to, of course, but that would have been immature. I knew that when I started dating Jeremy things might go wrong eventually. But we're all a team, the band and I, and Jeremy was my friend before we started dating. Nothing would change that, not even a boyfriend-drugging whore like Rhianna. Okay, that was mean. I shouldn't be accusing her like that, not until I find out for sure if she drugged him. But she's still kind of a slut, I'm not gonna lie. Her bandmates always point it out whenever we see her talking with an older man or one of the fans. Band practice went on as it normally would, minus all the touching from me and Jeremy (though we always shot glances at each other) and the same thing went for the concerts. Well, actually, Jeremy and I never touch during a concert unless it's a high five.
"Amy?" My head snaps up and for a split second I meet his gaze, but I quickly lower it. Oh man, I think. That was a bad spacing moment. "Really, I can leave if you don't want me around. I completely understand." I smile softly and shake my head.
"No, Jer, you don't have to leave." I look up and see him smiling down at me, and I feel myself almost smiling back. I catch it just in time and frown instead. "But this doesn't mean we're, you know, completely fixed." He nods and shifts his stance. I adjust my weight so that I'm leaning on my right leg instead and look over at the park across the way.
"Amy?" I look up at him again. "What's it going to take for you to forgive me? I know what I did was wrong, but I swear to God, okay, that I did. Not. Cheat on you." I close my eyes for a little bit before stepping closer and looking up into his eyes.
"I've already forgiven you, Jeremy," I whisper, taking his hands lightly in mine. "It's just hard to forget about the fact that you still went with her." He nods and looks down.
"Are we, you know, still together?" I think about that. Would it be immature to break up with him just because there's a possibility he's lying? Couples did it all the time, and then got back together after finding out nothing happened, but did I really want to do that to myself? Or him, for that matter? I smile and gently pull his face up so that he's looking at me again.
"Yes, Jeremy. We're still together. I just.. I don't know. I don't think you cheated on me, necessarily, but I do think there's a bit more to the story than what you told me." He nods, biting his lip, and with a start I realise that he's got tears forming in his eyes. My girlfriend instincts (what else can I call them?) kick in and I hug him tight, one hand on his back and the other behind his head, stroking his hair. He slowly wraps his arms around my waist, a couple inches higher than he normally would, and lets his face falls into the crook of my neck. Tears start to form in my eyes as well, but not for the same reason as Jeremy. I just happen to cry when men cry. "Shh," I say, trying to comfort him. I start rubbing his back, my other hand still stroking the back of his head, and he sniffles. Something wet lands on my bare shoulder and Jeremy stands up tall, wiping his eyes.
"This is embarassing," he mutters softly, smiling. I giggle and gently stroke his face, feeling something prickly. I frown and pull his face closer to mine and examine him closely. "Uh, Amy?" I shush him and continue my search until I find the source of the prickliness. Then I smile.
"Congrats, Jer," I say, smiling. "You officially have one facial hair." He laughs and rubs his face, obviously trying to find it, and I smile even more and pull out the small mirror that I've started keeping with me. "It's right here," I say, pointing. He grabs the mirror and studies his face for a while, eyes twinkling with excitement.
"Oh my gosh, does this mean I'm actually a man now?" He raises a brow at me and hands my mirror back. I shrug.
"Maybe, maybe not. That depends on one thing," I say soflty, putting the mirror back into my back pocket. I step closer and place a hand on his chest.
"And what is that?" he murmurs, pulling me a little closer.
"Do you have the guts?" He doesn't even have to ask me what I mean, given our current position. He cups my face on one side and brings his lips to mine for the most gentle kiss I've ever had. It's almost like our first kiss -no tongue, just the slight pressure letting both of us know that we were still attached to each other. I slide my hand up his chest and let it rest on his cheek, stroking it with my thumb. I don't know how long we stand there, just holding each other, but it feels like heaven, and when we finally separate I groan softly. Jeremy chuckles and hugs me.
"Don't worry, Love. There'll be other kisses -right?" I giggle and nod, then kiss his nose for good measure. He takes my hand in his and starts walking towards the park, and without a word I follow.
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
"Hey you," Sarahs greets me when I walk in, hours later. "Where have you been for the past-" she checks her phone. "Six hours?" I smile and kick off my shoes, then sigh happily and plop down on the couch next to her, wrapping my arms around her.
"At the park with Jeremy. Why, did you miss me?" She pushes me back and gives me the once-over.
"Are you two okay then? Kiss and make up? More than kiss and make up? Spill the beans, lady!" she exclaims dramatically. I giggle and hug her again.
"Yeah, we're okay. We kissed, made up, and took turns pushing each other on the swings. And the best part? No Rhianna!" Together, like a bunch of weird people, we do spirit fingers and then get up to make food. After stuffing our faces full of tuna sandwiches and mountain dew, we retire to the couches once again and pop in a movie, this time a romantic one called The Notebook. It's one of my favorite movies, and I always end up crying at the end because it's just so freaking romantic.
When the movie is over, we put it away and turn the t.v. off, and I try to think of something to do. I frown and look over at Sarah, who's mirroring my face. "Well," we say together, then giggle. "I got nothin'!" We start giggling uncontrollably until we're interrupted by Rhianna and Leah walking in, quite loudly. Their giggling kills my mood, and when Sarah and I look over to the door I frown. There's a man attached to Rhianna's hand, and they're making their way to the back of the bus. I stand up.
"Ah ah ah," I say in this mother-like voice when a child does something wrong. Rhianna, Leah, and The Man stop, and Rhianna looks at me as if to ask, 'What do you want?' I smirk and say, "He can't go back there." She scoffs.
"Yeah?" I nod.
"Yeah. We've got a strict 'No Boys' policy, remember?"
"Really. And what kind of an idiot came up with that one?" Sarah giggles and I smile.
"Apparently, you did. Remember all that whining you did to make sure that TIC was separated? Oh, of course you don't. You've been too busy drugging up to remember anything, haven't you." I don't reallly realise what's coming out of my mouth until after I've said it, and for a second I'm worried that Rhianna is going to get violent because I dissed her. But surprisingly, she doesn't do anything. She just stares at me and says,
"Johnny, change of plans." Johnny looks a bit disappointed, but when Rhianna stands on her toes and whispers something in his ear he smiles seductively (which makes me gag, just about) and walks out of the bus. Then Rhianna looks back to me and smiles. "Thanks for that."
"What do you mean?"
"You helped me get rid of him." She says it like it was obvious, which really, it was. I just wasn't paying attention to that. I was trying my hardest not to lose my temper and smack the shit out of her for drugging my boyfriend.
"Oh. Well excuse me if I wasn't trying." She shrugs and walks over to the kitchen area and picks up a banana and starts to peel it.
"So.." she says after she's finished eating. "How was your day with Jeremy? I'm so glad you two are still together. I wasn't sure if him hanging out with me was going to settle well with you." I grit my teeth together.
"Why wouldn't it settle well? And how did you know that I was with Jeremy? You weren't anywhere near us." She laughs, bringing pain to my ears.
"I don't know, maybe because you're his girlfriend and I'm just someone he used to run around with?" My jaw drops. I sooo did not see that one coming. "And, in case you haven't figured it out by now, Jeremy and I talk all the time. Lemme tell you, he was so happy to be with you today! He couldn't stop smiling when I saw him a bit ago. It really is a pity, though, that he cheated on you." I scoff.
"Rhi!" Sarah gasps. I wave a hand at her.
"I don't think he cheated on me," I say confidently. She raises a brow, as if to ask, 'What makes you so sure?' and I smile. "So what if you drugged him? He says he didn't do anything, and I believe him. That's all there is to it." She looks over and nods and Leah, who scampers off towards the bunks.
"So you're just going to believe him because he's your boyfriend? Pathetic." She shakes her head.
"Us dating has absolutely nothing to do with why I believe him. He was my best friend way before any of this happened, and we swore that we'd always tell each other the truth, no matter how bad it got. Nothing you do will change any of that, so keep your whorey paws off of him." She backs up a little bit when I say this, and I hold myself back from laughing.
"Rhi, I got them," Leah whispers, just loud enough for me (and most likely Sarah) to hear. Rhianna grabs the envelope from Leah and smirks at me.
"You don't believe that he cheated, huh? These might change your mind a bit." She walks up to me and smiles, handing me the envelope. I take it and hold it at my side, staring into her eyes. She returns the stare for a little while before smirking at me once again and walking off the bus with Leah trailing right behind her. I sigh when the door shuts and plop down on the couch, staring at the envolope.
"What do you think is in there?" Sarah asks, snuggling up close to me and grabbing it. She twitches her nose and hands it back. "Photos, definitely." I groan. Leave it to Rhianna to take pictures! But when I open it up and look at the first picture, I realise that Rhianna couldn't have possibly taken the pictures. "Oh my.. God," Sarah whispers. I blush and return the stack of photos into the envelope.
"If you don't mind, I think I'm going to-" She interrupts me with a wave of her hand and I smile, then stand up and walk to the back of the bus. I slide the door shut (yes, there's a sliding door that helps muffle the sound of our band practices) and sit down on the couch, staring at the envolope again. I knew what other kinds of pictures were in there. The majority would be of Rhianna doing things to Jeremy. For some of them he'd be awake and reacting to her, and for some of them he'd be out like a light. I take a deep, calming breath and, before I can chicken out and run back out to Sarah, open up the envelope and pull out the photos once more.
My breath catches in my throat as I look at the very last photo. The picture seemed to be taken just before Jeremy finally passed out and could no longer perform at all. I try to forget about the fact that his pants are down and I can see everything that I didn't want to see for a very long time. In the picture, Jeremy was leaning against a tree, head back and a smirk on his face, while Rhianna was busying herself with the task of getting him hard. She was, apparently, halfway there. I search through the pile again, trying to see if there were any pictures I could have missed, but to my dismay there aren't. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose. I heard somewhere that if you pinch your bridge, there's a small chance that the tears would stop forming. Obviously, it doesn't work. It never does. I can hear a movie playing up front, with Sarah no doubt mouthing the dialogue to it all, and outside people are cheering and screaming and laughing. I distinctly make out Taylor's giggle. When I open my eyes again I slip the photos back into the envelope and walk up to the front, wiping away any tears that Sarah might see. I pull on my black hoodie and slip the envelope into my pocket, then step into my Vans.
"I'll be back later, Sarah," I manage to say before my voice breaks and the door swings shut. I walk slowly towards the boys' bus, trying to control the tears that keep leaking down my face but failing miserably. I circle the parking lot a couple times until they start to slow down. By the time I arrive (for the third time) at the door, they've stopped and I've wiped all the remaining tears away. I knock three times and wait, listening to the guys arguing inside about who should answer the door.
"Come in!" Bob's voice booms, and I smile, opening the door and walking inside. They're all sitting in the front room, in the middle of watching Catwoman.
"Amy!" Frank yells, jumping up and pulling me into a hug (after shooting across the room, of course). "Are you here to watch the be-a-utiful Halle Berry fight crime?" Ray snorts and Mikey chuckles. I shake my head.
"No, actually. I'm looking for Jeremy?" Frank climbs over Gerard and sits back down in his chair.
"Oh uh, he's not.. exactly.. here," Ray says, clearing his throat. "He's out with R-" Out of the corner of my eye I see Bob nudge him, and he clears his throat again and says, "He's out with a bunch of friends." Bob shakes his head and stands up, heading towards the bunks. I nod. So he's out with Rhianna again, huh? I don't look at anyone, I just zip up my jacket and walk back to the door.
"Well then, I guess I'm going back to the bus," I say as best as I can. The tears are forming again, and if I don't get of here soon I'm going to break down. "Thanks, guys." They mumble a reply that I don't catch and resume playing the movie. I open the door and turn back, catching Gerard's eye on accident. At that moment a tear runs down my cheek and he frowns, starting to get up. I shake my head and shut the door, then make a run for it. I didn't mean for him to see that I was crying, and now that I had I didn't want him trying to comfort me. Gerard wasn't the one that I wanted to talk to, Jeremy was.
"Amy!" I turn around and see Gerard, barefoot, chasing me. I start to slow down, thinking Might as well, he's got my attention, but then shake my head and start to run a little faster. "Amy, slow down!" he yells, and before I know it he's caught up with me and is pulling me to a stop.
"I don't want to talk, Gerard," I whisper, wiping away a tear. He keeps his hand on my arm and turns me around so that I'm facing him. He pulls my face up so that we're looking at each other, and my lip quivers. Gerard's frowning, probably trying to figure out why I'm crying. I mean, he and Jeremy obviously talk, so he has to know that we've made up. So, he's probably thinking, why is she crying?
"Are you sure, Amy?" Without any hesitation I let a sob escape my throat and shake my head furiously, leaning into him. He wraps his arms around me and comforts me the best way he can as I tell him everything that's happened since I got back from the park. He shakes a little when I tell him about what Rhianna said, but he actually stiffens when I start telling him about the pictures. When I'm all done, and my waterworks have finally stopped, again, he rubs my arms and kisses the top of my head (much to my heart's amusement). "I'm so sorry, Amy. If you want, I'll go find Jeremy right now and you can talk to him." I shake my head and wipe my eyes.
"No, that's okay. I told you, so it's okay for now. I'll talk to him later, or something." I sigh sniffle a little bit, then run a hand through my hair. "I need a shower." He chuckles a little bit and smiles.
"I didn't wanna mention it.." I feign shock and slap his arm.
"Gerard! You take that back right now, I do not smell bad!" He shakes his head and laughs, and I slap him again. "Yes! Take it back, or else!"
"Or else what?" he asks, smirking. My heart flip-flops in my chest and I giggle, stepping closer.
"Or else.. I'll suck your blood," I whisper, grinning. He licks his lips and steps closer, so that our chests are almost touching.
"Really.. And what makes you think that scares me?" He pauses, waiting for me to answer. When I don't, he smiles. "In fact, it rather.. excites me," he whispers, and without really thinking about it I glance down and then look him in the eyes again. He steps back and laughs. "Oh my God, you totally just looked at my crotch!" I blush and look around, making sure no one was watching us.
"No I didn't!" He shakes his head and starts taunting me, telling me over and over again that I did, in fact, glance down at his crotch. After a few minutes of this, I place a hand over his mouth to silence and admit that yes, I did look. When I remove my hand he smirks, and that little spark shoots through me again. I sigh and turn back towards the buses. "I should probably go in now. Sarah will be getting worried soon, and we all know what she's like when she gets that way," I whisper, and he nods.
"Do you want me to walk you?" I shrug and he takes my arm in his. "Well then, M'lady, let us go!" I giggle as he starts to skip and I follow along. Before I know it we're standing in front of my bus, bending over as we catch our breath. Giggling and skipping (fast, might I add) are not advisable if you've got breathing problems. I finish catching my breath and stand up straight, waiting for Gerard to finish as well.
"Thanks for listening, Gee," I say softly, and we share a smile.
"My pleasure, Amy. Any time you need someone to talk to, about anything at all, just give me a call."
"But I don't-" He smiles and pulls my arm up, then writes his number with red sharpie. "Thanks. Now I really do have to take a shower. Wouldn't want anyone copying your number, now, would we?" He shakes his head and shifts his weight from one foot to the other, and I lean my head to the left. "What are you doing?"
"What? Oh, uh, nothing. I'm just kind of cold." It's then that I realise he isn't wearing his leather jacket. I sigh and shake my head. "What?"
"Nothing. You're just stupid, that's all." He scoffs at me and I smile. "Here," I say, taking off my jacket and handing it to him. He takes it after some persuasion and slips it on, and before he can argue I force him to put my shoes on as well. We're pretty much the same size, in everything except pants. I mean, his fit me fine (yes, I've tried) it's just they're too short.
"Gee, thanks Amy. But uh, don't you need this for tomorrow?" he aks, nodding towards the jacket. I shrug.
"You can bring them by in the morning or something. I've got another one inside, along with other shoes. Well uh, I'm going in now. Just.. do me a favor?"
"Don't mention this to Jeremy. I want to do it myself, okay?" He nods and hugs me one last time before walking off, and I walk inside after shivering. "Dang, it really is kinda cold out there," I say to Sarah, who's still on the couch. She looks over after pausing her movie, and Laura pops her head around the corner by the bunks.
"Amy!" she yells, running over to me. Sarah jumps up and runs over to, and pretty soon we're all on the floor, laughing and choking each other (unintentionally, of course).
"Ugh! Ugh! Can't breathe!" Sarah gasps, managing to crawl away from me and Laura. We giggle and break apart. We all sit up, still giggling, and then stand up.
"So uh, what did I miss?" I ask, making myself yet another tuna sandwich. I make one for Laura and Sarah, too. "Anything exciting happen?" I look over at Sarah, who looks over at Laura. Together they shake their heads, and I smile. "What are we watching?"
"Garfield," Sarah and Laura say together. I giggle and hand them their sandwiches. "Wanna watch it with us? It just started," Sarah says, plopping down on the couch and devouring her sandwich in five bites. I take a bite of mine and shake my head.
"Nah, I think I'm gonna head to bed." They pout and then turn back to the screen and push 'Play' and I walk back to my bunk, pulling out my pajamas. I set my sandwich down and pull off my clothes. I quickly pull on my pj's and climb into bed, finish my food, and roll over, thinking about all sorts of stuff. Then something hits me, and I sit up, bumping my head on the ceiling. "Ouch!"
"Hey, you okay back there?" Laura yells. I groan and stand up, then run to the front.
"Do you guys remember if I came in with my jacket?" I know, call me crazy, but I can't remember if I actually gave it to Gerard.
"Uh, no. You didn't have it on you," Laura says, looking at Sarah. She shakes her head as well and frowns.
"Why, did you lose it?"
"No," I groan, slapping my forehead. Then I look at Sarah and say, "I left the pictures in the jacket. I gave the jacket to Gerard. He's gonna flip out, I swear, and tell Jeremy!" Sarah gasps and slaps her forehead as well, and Laura looks at us like a confused child.
"Erm, am I missing something? Why don't you just call him and ask for the photos back? That's what I would do." I look at her and she shrugs, and I hug her.
"You're a genious!" She chuckles and I sprint to the back, pulling out my cell and dialing Gerard's number (while at the same time saving it). Then I wait for him to answer.
"Oh, thank God you answered! Listen, there's an envelope in the jacket pocket. Don't look at it! I need you to bring it to me like right no-"
"Yes, really. Why else would I ask-"
"Dang, that sucks. I wish I could help you. But hey, why don't you help me instead by leaving a message after the beep?" Beep! I stare at my phone. Did I really just fall for that? Wait a minute, why the hell did I just fall for that?! Ugh! I groan and shut my phone, then call him back. This time it goes straight to voicemail and I shut it. Fine, I think. Just great. Oh well. I sigh and climb back into bed. I suppose I'll just have to see what happens when he looks at them, won't I?
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry the ending sucks! But really, when it's too cold to go outside (or you're just too lazy) there really isn't anything to do but wait, am I right? Exactly xD
MUSIC THAT HELPED ME WRITE THIS CHAPTER:
Paramore: the Brand New Eyes album (via youtube)
Framing Hanely: Hear Me now, Alone In This Bed, Count Me In, All In Your Hands (those are all songs, in case you didn't know:) )
Hope you enjoyed it! If I'm lucky, I'll write before next weekend. If not, well.. before the break, definitely xD