Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > How To Kill Gerard Way.
Alicia's P.O.V.
After I got home from detention, I stayed locked away in my room, doodling all over what was supposed to be my Calc homework. At about seven or so, my mom came in and stormed my closet.
"Honey, where's that red neon sparkle top of yours?" she asked me. "I need to borrow it. I've got a... hot date tonight."
"Ahh," I replied nonchalantly. "Drummer?"
"Doctor." she answered quickly. "Well.. veterenarian." I squinted. "Technician." She laughed. "So, you're dating a dog nurse?" I asked her. "It's in the laundry room, just washed it."
"Thank yoouuu," she replied, sounding like a perky fifteen year old. I sucked my teeth as she stopped underneath my bedroom door. "Oh... you've got a friend at the door."
I raised my eyebrows, getting up off my bed and following her downstairs.
"What?"
When I got down the steps, mom was already in Mr. Dog Nurse's Jeep. "Have fun girls!" she called out to me and...
Jamia?!
"You're Alicia, right?" she asked me.
"Uh.... yeah." I said, smiling. "Alicia."
An hour later, Christa showed up too.
"I wanna bring down You-Know-Who."
"Voldemort?!" Jamia asked jokingly.
Then, Lyn-Z knocked on my door.
"I usually don't stand for the torture of animals, but in Gerard Way's case, i'll make an exception."
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
"I don't even know him." I told them once we had been in my room for a while.
"So?" Lyn-Z said, shrugging her shoulders. "You don't know anybody. You're like the Swiss, you're neutered."
"Uh, it's neutral," Jamia corrected her. "Alicia, if the three of us tried this alone, we would kill each other. Besides, you're the one who brought us all here. You showed us that we all have something in common."
"Exactly." Christa butted in. "We all wanna kill Gerard Way."
"Wow." I said, letting out a small breath. "Um... Okay."
The next day during lunch, Jamia took us all to the school's learning center. It's where the JagTV studio is, where Jamia and her co-producers host the school's morning annoucements via television. She took us to the equipment set-up, where a big projector was on and ready.
"Don't touch anything," She warned us as we were walking in. "You spend way too much time in extra curric's..." Christa said as she entered. We all sat down in the computer chairs scattered around the room as Jamia dimmed the lights and set up her presentation.
She turned on a PowerPoint slide and sat at the computer. "All cell phones off, and no food or drink during the feature presentation." She joked. The slide was a picture of Gerard.
"Okay, girls." Jamia began. "We need to define Gerard. What is it that attracts us to him? Is it that smile, is it that perfect tan? Come on girls, dig deep."
"It's everything." Christa stated. "It's his... eyes, his lips, his hair..." Jamia typed up all of what Christa was saying onto the picture itself. "And the way that, when he holds you, his whole body kinda tightens, and -"
"Christa," Lyn-Z interrupted, "We all know what happens when boys get 'happy'."
"NOT what I meant!"
"Girls!" Jamia yelped. "Focus! We all agree, Gerard's hott, right? So, what do we do?
"Well," Christa began again. "In cheer, we like to tear down the other team by undermining their confidence. Making them feel lame." Lyn-Z automatically disagreed.
"Uh, I don't think this is a case for, "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no aliby..."
"Shut up!"
"Christa! As much as I hate to say it, you have a point."
"Right." I finally cut in. "And, since Gerard's game is that he always has a date, to get even with a guy like that, you make him... Undateable."
"Yes!" Jamia declared. "Undateable! A systematic destruction of all that is Gerard Way."
We all watched as Gerard's picture suddenly pixelated into a million pieces.
"Guy..." Lyn-Z said quietly. "I think I have an idea."
Lyn-Z's P.O.V.
"I'm telling you babe, this could really make your looks work for you." I told Gerard, stroking his long black hair. We were in the woods behind my house with Robert, a professional photographer. For my plan to work, we needed a few shots of Gerard shirtless.
"Don't you think, Robert?" I turned, asking him. "You know, Gee, Robert is a professional photographer. He knows my mom, and he shoots for Elle, Vogue, GQ, and of course, he's done all of my yearbook photos since grade 5... On recycled paper."
"Okay, Gerard," Robert began after I stepped out of the way. His french accent was extremely thick. "Ze trick is, to relax, und act naturally."
Gerard shrugged as Robert put the large camera up to his face. "Now... POUT for me, Gerard, POUT!" He called, snapping two shots of Gerard's best... best pout face. "Ooooh, daaz great. I love you, I love you." Robert made an automatic change of pace. "Now make me hate you, Gerard! Hate me." He kept yelling and snapping photos as Gerard tried to model, looking scared and awkward. Just what we needed. "Oooh, yah! Yah, yah, yah!" Robert called. "Now you're a tree! It's vindy. Shake your branches! Shake them! Oooh, yah! PERFECT." Gerard furrowed his eyebrows, but obeyed and waved his hands high in the air. "Beegar!" Robert yelled harsly. "Beegar, ees a STORM, Gerard!"
And, okay. I think we can stop here. Let's skip to the good stuff, YAH?
Jamia's P.O.V.
We all stalked Gerard to the CineReel Theater on Saturday night. He was on a movie date with this girl from school, Holly.
We got seats two rows behind them, where we could see them, but they couldn't see us. "Now, ladies..." Lyn-Z said, getting comfortable in her chair. "Watch the magic happen."
The theater lights dimmed, and a public service commerical lit up the screem. The snapshot of Gerard's world-famous pout came up. Beside it were the words in bright orange; Just another pretty face?
"Hey, isn't that you?" We heard Holly ask Gerard. "Yeah," Gerard said coolly, leaning back in his chair. "I do some part-time male modeling."
Just as Alicia and I fought back laughs, the words faded, and what came up next was;
Or the face of Genital Herpes?
Christa almost spit out her Coke. "Herpes?!" Lyn-Z just shrugged.
"Hey..." A girl behind us asked. "Isn't that Gerard Way? From school?"
"Yup..." I told her, grinning. "Sure is." Alicia looked at all of us, flustered. "Guys, are you sure about this?"
"It's already been done," Lyn-Z said. "Watch the screen."
Next came up a photo of Gerard with his arms outstretched to the sky. The screen said, There's nothing cute about herpes. I know - I have it.
I stared, wide-eyed and open mouthed at the screen. This time Christa did spit out her Coke. We heard shouts all around us; "HEY, I know that guy!" "HOLY HELL!", and people threw popcorn at him.
Holly got up out of her seat and struggled to get as far away from Gerard as possible. "Don't touch me!" She kept yelling at him. "Get away!"
"Holly, babe!" Gerard called. "I swear, I don't have that!" He got up out of his seat and began to follow her. "Babe, come back!"
"Going to the free clinic, Way?" We heard a male voice somewhere behind us call. We watched as he turned beet red and dashed out of the theater.
We thought we'd gotten him.
Alicia's P.O.V.
But we seemed to forget Rule #1 in warfare:
Never underestimate your opponent.
As it turns out, Gerard ended up getting a Teen Responsibility Award a week after the CineReel incident. Something about giving his voice to the silent. And, in turn, it made him more dateable. He got Holly back, as well as 349459 different other girls.
This was going to be alot harder than we thought.
__________________________________________
So, chaaaaaa, R&R? Tank Jooo(: Thanks to all of my reveiwers, I love you all and, even though there's not many of you, you keep me going. You know who you are, and you all get virtual cookies. ^_^
xoxo,
michelle.
After I got home from detention, I stayed locked away in my room, doodling all over what was supposed to be my Calc homework. At about seven or so, my mom came in and stormed my closet.
"Honey, where's that red neon sparkle top of yours?" she asked me. "I need to borrow it. I've got a... hot date tonight."
"Ahh," I replied nonchalantly. "Drummer?"
"Doctor." she answered quickly. "Well.. veterenarian." I squinted. "Technician." She laughed. "So, you're dating a dog nurse?" I asked her. "It's in the laundry room, just washed it."
"Thank yoouuu," she replied, sounding like a perky fifteen year old. I sucked my teeth as she stopped underneath my bedroom door. "Oh... you've got a friend at the door."
I raised my eyebrows, getting up off my bed and following her downstairs.
"What?"
When I got down the steps, mom was already in Mr. Dog Nurse's Jeep. "Have fun girls!" she called out to me and...
Jamia?!
"You're Alicia, right?" she asked me.
"Uh.... yeah." I said, smiling. "Alicia."
An hour later, Christa showed up too.
"I wanna bring down You-Know-Who."
"Voldemort?!" Jamia asked jokingly.
Then, Lyn-Z knocked on my door.
"I usually don't stand for the torture of animals, but in Gerard Way's case, i'll make an exception."
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
"I don't even know him." I told them once we had been in my room for a while.
"So?" Lyn-Z said, shrugging her shoulders. "You don't know anybody. You're like the Swiss, you're neutered."
"Uh, it's neutral," Jamia corrected her. "Alicia, if the three of us tried this alone, we would kill each other. Besides, you're the one who brought us all here. You showed us that we all have something in common."
"Exactly." Christa butted in. "We all wanna kill Gerard Way."
"Wow." I said, letting out a small breath. "Um... Okay."
The next day during lunch, Jamia took us all to the school's learning center. It's where the JagTV studio is, where Jamia and her co-producers host the school's morning annoucements via television. She took us to the equipment set-up, where a big projector was on and ready.
"Don't touch anything," She warned us as we were walking in. "You spend way too much time in extra curric's..." Christa said as she entered. We all sat down in the computer chairs scattered around the room as Jamia dimmed the lights and set up her presentation.
She turned on a PowerPoint slide and sat at the computer. "All cell phones off, and no food or drink during the feature presentation." She joked. The slide was a picture of Gerard.
"Okay, girls." Jamia began. "We need to define Gerard. What is it that attracts us to him? Is it that smile, is it that perfect tan? Come on girls, dig deep."
"It's everything." Christa stated. "It's his... eyes, his lips, his hair..." Jamia typed up all of what Christa was saying onto the picture itself. "And the way that, when he holds you, his whole body kinda tightens, and -"
"Christa," Lyn-Z interrupted, "We all know what happens when boys get 'happy'."
"NOT what I meant!"
"Girls!" Jamia yelped. "Focus! We all agree, Gerard's hott, right? So, what do we do?
"Well," Christa began again. "In cheer, we like to tear down the other team by undermining their confidence. Making them feel lame." Lyn-Z automatically disagreed.
"Uh, I don't think this is a case for, "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no aliby..."
"Shut up!"
"Christa! As much as I hate to say it, you have a point."
"Right." I finally cut in. "And, since Gerard's game is that he always has a date, to get even with a guy like that, you make him... Undateable."
"Yes!" Jamia declared. "Undateable! A systematic destruction of all that is Gerard Way."
We all watched as Gerard's picture suddenly pixelated into a million pieces.
"Guy..." Lyn-Z said quietly. "I think I have an idea."
Lyn-Z's P.O.V.
"I'm telling you babe, this could really make your looks work for you." I told Gerard, stroking his long black hair. We were in the woods behind my house with Robert, a professional photographer. For my plan to work, we needed a few shots of Gerard shirtless.
"Don't you think, Robert?" I turned, asking him. "You know, Gee, Robert is a professional photographer. He knows my mom, and he shoots for Elle, Vogue, GQ, and of course, he's done all of my yearbook photos since grade 5... On recycled paper."
"Okay, Gerard," Robert began after I stepped out of the way. His french accent was extremely thick. "Ze trick is, to relax, und act naturally."
Gerard shrugged as Robert put the large camera up to his face. "Now... POUT for me, Gerard, POUT!" He called, snapping two shots of Gerard's best... best pout face. "Ooooh, daaz great. I love you, I love you." Robert made an automatic change of pace. "Now make me hate you, Gerard! Hate me." He kept yelling and snapping photos as Gerard tried to model, looking scared and awkward. Just what we needed. "Oooh, yah! Yah, yah, yah!" Robert called. "Now you're a tree! It's vindy. Shake your branches! Shake them! Oooh, yah! PERFECT." Gerard furrowed his eyebrows, but obeyed and waved his hands high in the air. "Beegar!" Robert yelled harsly. "Beegar, ees a STORM, Gerard!"
And, okay. I think we can stop here. Let's skip to the good stuff, YAH?
Jamia's P.O.V.
We all stalked Gerard to the CineReel Theater on Saturday night. He was on a movie date with this girl from school, Holly.
We got seats two rows behind them, where we could see them, but they couldn't see us. "Now, ladies..." Lyn-Z said, getting comfortable in her chair. "Watch the magic happen."
The theater lights dimmed, and a public service commerical lit up the screem. The snapshot of Gerard's world-famous pout came up. Beside it were the words in bright orange; Just another pretty face?
"Hey, isn't that you?" We heard Holly ask Gerard. "Yeah," Gerard said coolly, leaning back in his chair. "I do some part-time male modeling."
Just as Alicia and I fought back laughs, the words faded, and what came up next was;
Or the face of Genital Herpes?
Christa almost spit out her Coke. "Herpes?!" Lyn-Z just shrugged.
"Hey..." A girl behind us asked. "Isn't that Gerard Way? From school?"
"Yup..." I told her, grinning. "Sure is." Alicia looked at all of us, flustered. "Guys, are you sure about this?"
"It's already been done," Lyn-Z said. "Watch the screen."
Next came up a photo of Gerard with his arms outstretched to the sky. The screen said, There's nothing cute about herpes. I know - I have it.
I stared, wide-eyed and open mouthed at the screen. This time Christa did spit out her Coke. We heard shouts all around us; "HEY, I know that guy!" "HOLY HELL!", and people threw popcorn at him.
Holly got up out of her seat and struggled to get as far away from Gerard as possible. "Don't touch me!" She kept yelling at him. "Get away!"
"Holly, babe!" Gerard called. "I swear, I don't have that!" He got up out of his seat and began to follow her. "Babe, come back!"
"Going to the free clinic, Way?" We heard a male voice somewhere behind us call. We watched as he turned beet red and dashed out of the theater.
We thought we'd gotten him.
Alicia's P.O.V.
But we seemed to forget Rule #1 in warfare:
Never underestimate your opponent.
As it turns out, Gerard ended up getting a Teen Responsibility Award a week after the CineReel incident. Something about giving his voice to the silent. And, in turn, it made him more dateable. He got Holly back, as well as 349459 different other girls.
This was going to be alot harder than we thought.
__________________________________________
So, chaaaaaa, R&R? Tank Jooo(: Thanks to all of my reveiwers, I love you all and, even though there's not many of you, you keep me going. You know who you are, and you all get virtual cookies. ^_^
xoxo,
michelle.
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