Meeting With Brian.
“Hey, you awake?”
“C-Connor? You’ll never beli-“
“So, you wanna make me a sandwich still?” I scoff.
“No, my sweet connor, I do not want to make you a sandwich.” He frowns and turns his head, then looks at his watch.
“Well, you gotta help us get this lazy ass chick you call your best friend up!”
“I guess.” I get up and walk to her bunk. I see Maggie and Jer poking their heads through her bedroom door.
"Maybe she's dead?"
"She has a pulse, silly. You can see it on her wrist.”
"Oh. Dude, that's so flippin' sweet!"
"Yeah. Plus she's breathing, smart one." Maggie snorts.
"Whatever. We're gunna be late!"
"Come on, can't we just go without her?" I say half asleep. Amy mumbles something, but no one else but Maggie notices.
"Wow, that was so not a language, Amy." She rolls over and looks at us and mumbles something else.
"Wow, Amy, you're seriously out of it. Come on, come on, come on! Get in the shower," I say, pulling her up and forcing her into the bathroom. As she’s taking off her Stewie pajamas (which I am extremely jealous of) she keeps mumbling! All I could make out was “What time?”
“It’s almost two o’ clock, dipshit,” I say turning on the shower, not really caring about the temperature. I force her in the shower, still in socks.
“OH MY GOD!” She screeches in my ear. She backs away from the shower head the fastest she can. Bet she’s awake now, huh? “Turn it off, turn it off!”
"Ugh, fine. But you better hurry, cumquat, or else we're gunna be late," I say walking out off the bathroom, rubbing my eyes.
“Hey Taylor!” She calls. I pop my head into the bathroom.
“Will you cum in my quat?” We both giggle.
"Of course, dawling, of course," I say with a smile and walk back out. I walk into Amy’s room knowing of Jer’s little schemes to peek at changing girls. I don’t really bother getting undressed. All I wear to bed is my bra and boxers. Okay, so I haven’t changed in awhile… like, three days. But every one is used to my stench by now, right? Maybe I should though. Just for this special occasion.
I undress my self, boxers, bra and all. While looking through Amy’s dresser (which I always keep a clean spare of everything) I find red boxers, black bra, black skinnies, and my favorite Marilyn Manson shirt. I find Amy’s phone on her bedside and decide to text Jennifer.
Hey, Jenny. I was just thinking about you. we got a call from this guy from some record company and were on our way now.
I reread the message and send it. I miss her. I haven’t seen her in awhile. She went to Sedona with her mom for a week. I’m not even sure if she has service there.
I love you.
I wait a few minutes for her reply…nothing. I walk out into the livingroom just as I hear the water stop. I see Amy run into her room with nothing but a tiny towel. I giggle and continue walking.
“Hey guys! Any one wanna make me a sandwich?” Connor rolls his eyes.
“I made some for all of us before I went to bed. In the fridge.” Good ol’ Maggie.
“Is Amy ready yet?” I hear Jeremy snort. Yet again, I cant answer cause of the food that inhabits my mouth.
“Hrmnrrm.” A bit of my turkey sandwich falls outta my mouth. I pause, then pick it back up. Everybody looks at me with that ‘don’t you dare’ look. This floor hasn’t swept or moped in ages, but do I care? Remember kids: Five second rule!
“That is SO sick, Taylor!”
“Nom.. Nom.. Nom!” Amy walks out fully clothed, socks in hand.
“Hey guys, have you seen my-“ I try to answer, but of course Maggie beats me to it.
“They’re by the door, Amy.” Jeremy comes out of the kitchen. Shirtless. Of course Maggie -being the girl that she is- stares.
"Thanks. Jeremy, for the love of God put a freaking shirt on!" Amy says finishing lacing up her converse. “Okay guys are you ready?” She asks, putting her cell in her pocket. I wonder if Jennifer texted me back. The room is filtered with ‘Yeps’ and ‘Yeahs’.
“Let’s go!” She says in a super Mario voice. I giggle. I help everyone put their instruments in the van, and pretty soon we’re on the road. Amy suggests we get food.
“Sure thing, Amy,” Maggie says. She’s driving. I would offer to drive but I'm kind of a reckless driver, and wouldn’t risk ruining our instruments. My tummy rumbles.
"Jack-In-The-Fucking-Box, right there!" I scream. Everyone cheers and Maggie yells at us to shut up. I sigh, licking my lips and rubbing my poor belly. "Man, I can just taste those fucking curly fries right now, Maggie."
Hello, how may I take your order?" this thick Mexican accent drawls from the speaker box. I frown. Okay, not to offend any one but I'm not a big fan of beaners. But I won't get to much into that. I turn to Amy.
"Why do they always work at Jack In The Box?" I say, she shrugs.
"Yes, I'd like two orders of curly fries, two chocolate shakes, three strawberry shakes, three chicken sandwiches, and a taco," Maggie orders. I start spacing. What would happen if we had a beaner for a president? I shiver at the thought.
"Look, I ordered two orders of curly fries," Maggie says impatiently.
“My mistake,” says the girl. I groan.
"Yeah, you better be fucking sorry you stupid fucking bea-"
“Taylor!” Amy interjects, obviously trying not to laugh. "Don't say that, not when she can hear you. They'll like, kick us out of here or something!" I giggle.
"That'll be $17.69 at the window, please," the girl says and we pull up.
"I love how there's always a sixty-nine in the prices here," I say, wiggling my eyebrows. Amy laughs.
"Jeez Taylor, why do you always have to be so dirty?" Jeremy jokes.
"Hm.. I dunno. I guess my girlfriend brings it out of me," I say and sigh. "Amy, can I use your cell pho-"
"No. Last time I lost it. This time it's staying right in my pocket..." She trails off. "Shit. Has anyone seen my-"
"Here," Jeremy says.
"Why did you have it?" I frown.
"Because I was taking dirty pictures of my pe-"
"OK!" I quickly should, my eyes wide. "Lesbian who doesn't like boys here!" They all laugh as the girl hands Maggie the food. She hands it all back to us. I take my curly fries and start mowing down. Ooohhh yeahhh. It’s so good I block out everything that’s going on around me. Yummy fast food. I'm a sucker for you!
"Here's your taco, Amy," Jeremy says, throwing it at her. She nearly drops it.
"You know, Amy..I think it's funny that I'm the lesbian, yet you're the only one that eats tacos. Are you in denial?" I ask, raising my right brow. She giggles with a stuffed mouth.
"Shut up. I'm not the one that makes the dirty jokes and eats Jennifer ou-"
"Enough! I'm eating, and driving, and I don't want to throw up all over you," Maggie says, glaring at us in the rear view mirror. Amy and I giggle and return to our food. After I’m done eating I dose off.
“Look, there it is!” Why do I have to wake up this way all the fucking time! I stretch and peak out the window. It’s a club called Bernies Out House. That sounds appealing.
"Wow. Never seen this before," Jeremy says, hopping out and popping the trunk.
"Yeah, me neither," Connor says, helping him unload the guitars.
"Are we doing an acoustic then?" Amy asks pulling out her tiger stripped beauty.
"I don't know.. but my penis senses are tingling," Jeremy says, adjusting himself.
"What the fuck?" I say, backing away from him.
"Don't look at me like that, Taylor, because if you were a guy you'd do it too," he says. I scoff.
"But I'm not a guy," I point out, running a hand over my chest and puffing it out.
"You guys, seriously," Maggie says, pulling her bagged up keyboard out of the trunk. It's a huge ass mother fucking trunk. "We need to focus on what we came here to do. Yes, we're doing an acoustic, hence the reason Jeremy's drums aren't here."
"Yeah Jeremy, stop masturbating and get focused!" I say, holding my black acoustic bass Jennifer got me for my birthday a few years ago.
"You know, you really should take that sticker off," Maggie says, pointing to the Fuck Mexico! sticker on the front.
"And why would I do that?" I ask, running a hand down the bass neck. "It's so totally awesome."
"Whatever. But when you get shot one day, don't come crying to me!" and Maggie walks away. We follow her and one by one we're all standing on the inside of the club, taking in the scene around us. We stood there for about a minute or so before this bouncer guy walks up to us.
"Are you The Mental Delinquents?"
"Yes we are," Maggie says, holding out her hand. He shakes it.
"Right this way, then. Mr. Brian is waiting for you."
We follow the guy to the VIP section, where Brian is waiting for us. He stands up, whispers something to the bouncer, and he walks off.
"Hello there, you must be TMD!" he says all enthusiastically. Amy is the first to greet him. Brian tells us all to have a seat, and we do so.
"So..are we suppose to play for you?" I ask curiously, pointing out our instruments.
"Oh, no, no. I just wanted to talk to you," Brian says, waving his hand.
"But Jeremy said that someone called him, saying we were supposed to play for you," Maggie says, shooting a sideways glare at Jeremy, who reaches a hand up and scratches the back of his head.
"Well, maybe if we have time you can play me your hit single," Brian say, chuckling. Maggie blushes. Ew.
"We're all ears, Mr..." Amy trails off. What a dip!
"Oh, just call me Brian, honey," he smiles. Amy and I raise a brow.
"You'll get used to it. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm very..interested...in your music."
We all smile. "Really? Have you seen us play, then?" He nods.
"Actually, I was at your show a few days ago, and I loved it. So I called up the head technician at Reprise Records, the record company I work with, and Dakota called you yesterday, I presume?" Amy and Maggie pat Jer on the back and share a few words, then turn their attention back to brian.
"I'm sorry you guys got the wrong message. But it's all good, it's all good. At least you're here right?"
"Yup, glad to be here too, Brian," Amy says. What a suck up! I giggle. "So what are we here to talk about?"
Brian stares at us, deep in thought. He glances at each of us before he responds. "What do you guys think of going on tour with one of the bands I'm working with?" he asks, and we all go completely silent.
"That would be freaking amazing!" Jeremy says enthusiastically. Amy giggles, I'm just sitting there with wide eyes, Connor is biting his lip, and Maggie is smiling like a mad woman.
"The only problem is, I'm not sure if you can handle them," Brian says with this real serious look. Psh I think to myself. I don’t think they can handle us!
"And why wouldn't we be able to handle them?" Amy asks.
"Well..the guys can be a bit.. Wild?" And we’re not?
"Wild as in how? Like crack-wild or..?" Someone clears their throat. "Look Brian, I don't see how this is going to work if we keep taking dramatic pauses," Amy says, leaning back in her chair. She reminds me of those people on the show Shark Tank. All stern and very ‘get to the point’.
"I'm sorry, Amy. I'll get straight to the point, I promise, OK?" he smiles.
"Alright, but you better make it quick. My fingers are itching to touch my guitar," Amy jokes, which makes him and the rest of the band laugh. I smile. "So.. I'm thinking maybe we should introduce ourselves a little better?" Amy suggests.
"Sure thing, honey," Brian says. Why does he keep saying honey?
"Well, I'm Amy Revenge, this here is Taylor ToTz, Connor Konstantine, Jeremy Fiddle-Sticks, and Mag Pie." By the time he reaches me I insure him that none of us had much control over our stage names. He chuckles and moves onto Connor.
"Well then, it's nice to meet you all. I'm Brian, just Brian."
"So Brian, tell us what's up. We're a little..groggy.." Amy says. Does no one else get to talk?
"Ha, you mean you're groggy Amy..waking up like an hour ago," I smirk, and she lightly punches my arm.
"Shut up, Taylor . Anyway Brian, care to tell us more about this touring business?"
"Of course. Well, the band you'll be touring with is an all-guy band. They're pretty famous right now, actually, so you'll be opening up for a lot of shows." I sit up in my seat leaning towards Brian.
"You'll be touring all over the U.S. , and when that's done, depending on how well the crowds like your band, you can possible tour Europe . Oh, and if the guys like you, too. But I'm sure they will," he adds quickly.
"That sounds pretty cool. Anything else? Anything special or in particular you wanna add? Like who the band is?" I smirk in excitement.
"I'll get to that in a minute. I want you to know that you don't have to sign anything with the record company yet, until you're absolutely ready. I've tried this method a thousand times and it's worked for me so far."
"That's real nice, we appreciate it."
"So, who's this famous band we're touring with?" I ask, a little impatiently. Hey, what can I say? This guys is just yap yap yapping while we're here, sitting like a bunch of fucking bunnies waiting for the coyote to make up it's mind on which one of us it wants to eat!
"My Chemical Romance." I couldn’t help but laugh. They’re such little emo pansies! Jeremy smiles. He likes to listen to them every once in awhile. Maggie groans and leans back down in her chair. And of course, Connor rolls his eyes.
"Is there a problem?" Brian asks, leaning in. I try to contain myself.
"Nope, no problem whatsoever, Brian. It's all good. So when do we meet them?" Amy asks, obviously not so enthused anymore.
"You can meet them next week when they come to get the new bus. I hope you like it, it's bigger than most of our buses."
"Wait..what do you mean.." I stop giggling and stare at him. "You don't mean what I think you mean, do you?" Amy questions.
"Yes, Amy. You'll be sharing a bus with My Chemical Romance for about six months. Can you handle that? I told you they can get a little.. wild." His eyes were full of concern.
Amy sighs and looks at us. “Sure we can. Right guys?”
"Oh of course-"
"Fuck me in the asshole on Tuesday-" That one, of course, was me.
"See Brian? We can totally handle it. So do you still want us to play, or....?"
"No, actually I have to get going. I still have to make sure the bus is equipped with the right emergency things, the beds, the bathroom works just right, everything. So I'll see you next Tuesday?" I frown.
"Yeah sure. Where do we meet?"
"The Ramada Inn on Cactus by the I-17."
"Alright. What time?" Maggie asks.
"Oh around.. Hm.. I'd say around 4-ish. That OK?"
"Of course," Amy says, trying to smile. She can't fool me.
"Alright. See you then, guys." And Brian walks out. We all groan and slump in our chairs, then stand up and grab our things and head out to the car.
"Wow. I can't believe we carried these things in for nothing. I mean seriously, he could have at least let us play," I complain.
"Tay, take a chill pill. He was busy, you know that. And quite honestly, I don't think I could handle singing for Brian at the moment. Not after what just happened," Amy says with a sigh.
"Yeah..I mean can you believe this is happening?! US. On TOUR. With the craziest, most famous EMO band of all time!" I joke. Jeremy coughs and looks at me as we all pile into the car.
"They are so not emo, Taylor . They just get that label because they dress like you."
“Oooh, burn!” Everyone yells. I give Jer a death glare. He smiles.
"I am so not emo, Jeremy."
"Sure, honey. We all know the truth." There’s that word again. He turns on the radio. Ironically enough, it starts blasting ‘Im Not Okay(I Promise)’. Good Ol’ gay-radio-that-belongs-to-Amy. I mean, who else would own a car?
“Taylor?” Amy asks as I’m almost asleep.
"Why? I mean- Oh! Come on, Amy, cheer up! At least now you get to see men with their clothes half off."
"Wow Taylor, you would think about that. But no, that's not a good thing at all. I think the only good thing is that there's a slight chance I might finally go crazy."
"That's a good thing? You need sleep, Amy."
"Yeah. I do." Amy gets into her ‘comfy clothes,' shuts the door, and climbs into bed. "Wake me up when this month ends." Something funny occurs to me and I poke Amy's shoulder.
“Dude.. you know what?”
“It’s September…” I start laughing before she does, and she joins soon after. We're laughing so loud that the guys yell at us to shut up from the livingroom. Finally we stop and Amy rolls over. I do the same.
"Wow. Well then, Taylor. Wake me up when September ends."
Ha ha that gets me every time...