You’re sitting in the living room watching Speed. The movie is about half way though… Your door bell rings. Who could that be? you think. You let out as sigh as you stand up and go to the door. You open the door… and standing there is Marshall, he looks very tired, and depressed. What is he doing here you think. Remaining polite you let him in. “Are you ok?” you ask him, you’re concerned…He shakes his head while looking down at the floor. “Well what’s wrong?” you ask. He sighs.
“Everything,” he mutters.
“Come sit,” you say, at this point you have no idea what is going on really. He slowly drags his feet over to the couch. You pick the remote up and pause the movie. He sighs as he plops down on the couch as if he was falling. He looks up at you; you can tell he’s hurting inside. He looks down at the floor.
“I fucked up,” he mumbles. You don’t know how to respond so you remain silent. You just stare at him. “Everything…everything these past 3 years….should have been different. I should have never walked way…from you,” he said quietly. “And now…my life has just …I don’t know… it feels like I have nothing any more… it feels like my life has ended but Im still here,” he says softly.
“What do you mean?” you say not really sure what he means.
“Didn’t you hear?” he asks looking up at you. You shake your head. “Proof… hes… gone,” he says pretty much in tears. You think for a minute, trying to remember if you head anything about this… you’ve been so busy the past week or two, you don’t have time to watch the news or read papers…then you remember Mya saying something about a shooting at the CCC Club in Detroit on the 11th.
“I did…Im so sorry Marshall,” you say softly. “But… I…. I don’t know how to say this,” you mumble while looking around the room like it’s supposed to give you ideas.
“Just say it,” he mumbles.
“Is this the reason you came here, for comfort?” you ask him. He looks at you with confusion and anger on his face.
“Fuck no, I came back to tell you how much I fucked up…with us,” he says.
“I didn’t mean it for to be like that,” you whisper.
“Could you hear me out?” he asks…. He gets up and starts to look around the room, at the pictures on the mantel and on the walls. “No interruptions or anything?” he asks. You nod. “Look, I fucked up…I should have never gotten so pissed off about you and DeShaun… I should have talked to you about it, I should have called Proof and did something but I never did. I regret that… I never got mad at Proof even though it was half his fault. I feel even more like shit because I left my daughter…my first child. Even though I don’t know her, I love her… and I still love you,” he explains. You stare at him…he looks at you telling you its ok to say something. You let out a sigh.
“Then why did you never come back?” you ask.
“I thought it was best for both of us I guess,” he said.
“You guess! How is you not coming around ‘best’” you yell at him.
“Look, I know you probably think Im an asshole…you probably hate me,” he says sadly.
“I don’t hate you, Im just very disappointed in you,” you say. “The least you could have done was call us,” you say.
“I tired….they said the number was disconnected. And then after a while the child support money I sent started coming back….I couldn’t find you, I felt as if you didn’t want me to find you so I gave up,” he said. “I still love you,” he mumbles so quietly you could barely hear him. You sigh ignoring his hast comment. “Did you hear what I said,” he asks looking up at you.
“Yeah…you tried to contact us but you couldn’t so you gave up,” you say summing up what he just said.
“No,” he says while shaking his head. “The last part,” he tells you.
“Yeah…but…I don’t feel the same way anymore,” you lie. He shakes his head.
“I don’t believe you,” he tells you. Well you did lie to him you do still love him, but you don’t want to get fucked over again, and you’re happy with Keith or are you?
“Well you should…after you left I realized that I should have to waist my time wondering if you’ll ever come back…so I moved on,” you tell him.
“Moved on… to what, that Keith Urban guy…I read about you two,” he said like hes mad.
“Well you re-married that Kim…so what the difference?” you ask him.
“That’s because I was trying to get my mind off of you. But it didn’t work,” he said.
“How is getting married to another chick supposed to get your mind off of me?” you said to him as if hes stupid.
“I already told you it didn’t work…so I divorced her…we don’t even really talk anymore unless it has to do with the girls,” he said. You sigh.
“Well…I don’t feel the why I used to feel…besides, how do we know that was real…we were just kids,” you say. “I think you just be around for Brandy, not me,” you tell him. He sighs.
“I want to be…but I want to be with you also,” he says. You shake you’re head.
“Sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to, Marshall,” you say, looking out the window past Marshall.
Brandy pulls up in her car. oh shit you think to yourself. She just got home from school, and Marshall’s here, shes not gonna like this. She comes in; she looks straight at Marshall and slams the door causing things on the wall to rattle.
“What the fuck is he doing here?!” she yells. Marshall looks disappointed at her anger. You and Marshall remain silent. “Fine don’t answer,” she says irritated.
“I came to talk to your mother,” Marshall finally says.
“Whatever,” she says walking off towards her room.
“Damn,” Marshall says.
“Remind you of someone?” you ask, making a notion that it was him.
“Me?” he questions. You sigh as if hes stupid.
“Yeah, shes just like you,” you say. “You need to talk to her,” you demand.
“Not till Im done talking to you,” he says.
“What else is there to say?” you question.
“I need to know if you really telling the truth about not loving me anymore,” he says.
“Well, I’ve gotten over you,” you lie.
“No… I need proof,” he says. Walking closer towards you. You take a step back, backing up into the couch. He moves even closer to you slowly. You back up further falling on the couch. He kneels on the couch hovering over you. He leans in reaching his hand behind your neck, you close your eyes tightly, you want to let it happen, and you don’t want to resist him anymore. As soon as his lips touch yours you feel like you can’t keep your feelings from him anymore so you kiss back. You start to kiss slowly, you get more and more into it then you start to make out.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Keith yells. You both freak out and quickly move sitting on opposite sides of the couch.
“Umm umm we were kissing,” Marshall says being straight forward.
“Uh, I noticed,” Keith said. “Do you have a reason for kissing my girlfriend?” he questions.
“She was my girlfriend first; do you have a reason for stealing her from me?” Marshall smarts off. You stand up and walk up in front of both of them.
“Stop it, both of you, just go home!” you yell. Then walk away into your daughter’s room.
You walk into Brandy’s room crying. “What’s wrong?” Brandy asks standing up from her bed. She walks over to you and hugs you.
“I don’t know what to do,” you cry hugging her back.
“What happened?” she asks. Pulling away from the hug.
“Marshall kissed me,” you say.
“I’ll go kick his ass for you,” she says.
“No, no no, no I kissed him back,” you quiver.
“Why the fuck would you do that?” she questions. You lower your head looking ashamed.
“I still love him,” you whisper.
“Are you serious?” she asks with that plain bored look on her face. You hear a door slam, you figure that they both left.
“Finally,” you sigh.
“Finally what?” Brandy says irritated.
“They left,” you tell her.
“They who?” she asks.
“Keith and Marshall,” you tell her.
“Good. Then you can leave too,” she says. “Im busy writing some songs and shit,” she says. You give her a dirty look then leave the room to go get food.
You walk past the living room, you see Marshall sitting there on the couch but it doesn’t register in your head. You walk into the kitchen, then suddenly stop and go back into the living room. “I thought I told you to leave,” you say confused as to why he’s still there.
“Why would I do that?” he asks.
“Cause I said so,” you say.
“What are you my mother?” he asks.
“Eww,” you say. He laughs slightly. Theres an awkward silence. “Uh…Im gonna get some food…you hungry?” you ask
“No, I ate before I got here,” he says.
“Ok…You should go talk to your daughter,” you say pointing towards her room.
“Is she even going to talk to me? By what happened earlier, I don’t think she likes me,” he said disappointed.
“Just try, be a man,” you laugh at your comment. He looks at you like what the fuck then heads up to Brandy’s room.
You get upstairs and knock on Brandy’s door. “What!” she yells.
“Can I come in?” you ask.
“Why?” she asks irritated. You let out a sigh.
“I want to talk to you,” you say.
“Why now?” she asks.
“Because, can you just let me in?” you beg. She opens the door and lets you in. You look around her room, theres posters of Usher, Wayne, Ne-Yo, Tupac, Beyonce and Ciara. She also had some pictures of her and friends.
“You’re not talking,” she says crossing her arms.
“Im just trying to think of the right words to say…” you tell her.
“You can start by explaining why you were never around,” she advised.
“I was too wrapped up in Kim’s bullshit, my career, and taking care of my children,” you explain.
“Im your child too,” she sassed.
“I know, but the problem was….Kim, she got arrested for possession of Cocaine, so I had to handle my other children and my career,” you try to explain. “Please forgive me, Im sorry, Im here now and I plan on staying,” he says.
“We’ll see,” she says.
“I guess that better than a no,” you mutter.
“Could you go now, Im kinda busy,” she tells you.
“Oh…Im sorry, ok,” you mumble then walk out the door shutting in on your way out.
Marshall came walking into the living room as you finish your sandwich. “How’d it go?” you ask him.
“Fine… she said we’ll see,” he tells you.
“Yeah, shes like that,” you tell him. He nods. Wayne walks in the room. Marshall just stares at him for the longest time. Marshall stands up, walks over to Wayne and just hugs him.
“Excuse me, can I help you?” Wayne asks. Marshall continues to hug him. “Why is Eminem hugging me?” Wayne asks looking over at you.
“Cause you look like my best friend,” Marshall explains letting go of Wayne.
“Oh yeah, I remember his name is DeShaun right and hes my dad,” Wayne says with a smile. Marshall gets this depressed look on his face. “What’s wrong?” Wayne asks.
“He…he…passed away,” Marshall mumbles sadly.
“Oh,” Wayne says looking down at the floor. “Im sorry,” he adds. Wayne walks away mumbling “Great, I have a dad but hes dead…”
Marshall sits back down on the couch all depressed. You scoot over by him wrapping your arms around him hugging him tight. He hugs you back; he begins to cry a little. You rub his back; he lays his head on your shoulder. After a while you two pull away from each other. You watch the rest of Speed and some other shows… You make a quick meal for the kids then go and watch some other shows, then the news. Marshall lay down on the couch. “Come here,” he said pulling you on top of him, you laid between him and the back of the couch, you placed your leg on top of his and laid your head on his chest. You completely forget about Keith, and all you can think about is Marshall. He puts his hand free hand on the top of yours. You pull the blanket that’s on the back of the couch on top of you and Marshall. You turn off the TV after hearing the weather. You’re too tired to go into your bedroom so you just end up falling asleep with Marshall on the couch.
“What the fuck?” you hear Brandy’s voice; you slowly open your eyes. You glance at Marshall who opens his eyes also; you both stare at her for a minute.
“Oh,” you mumble getting off of Marshall. You both sit up and continue to stare at her.