What could have happened after the events of “Trinity” Warning character death! Suicide! If you could be affected by this you better look away! Rated M to be safe!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, neither Rodney nor any other eye candy...
IF YOU COULD BE AFFECTED BY SUICIDE, THEMES DO NOT READ THIS!
A/N : When I first wrote the story I was under influence of Evanescence and their song "Missing" but I was not happy with the final result of the story.I hope you will like this version better
Previous version was betad by ilovedanieljackson this one is purely my own fault.
Silently, one man shuffled through the corridors of the Ancient city of Atlantis. Military men paid no attention to him and civilian personnel looked the other way as he passed, they were accustomed to his omniscient presence in the city. When you came to Atlantis, first thing you have learned was that Dr Rodney McKay, self-proclaimed genius from Canada and current resident of the Pegasus galaxy was everywhere; the city was full of the man. You would think he owned the city, or something. Sure Atlantis responded better to Lt. Colonel John Sheppard, but that was because of his O'Neill strong ATA gene type. Nevertheless, no one better then CSO knew the city and its systems. Well maybe the Czech scientist Dr. Radek Zalenka that was why he was McKay 2IC.
However, this time the silence surrounding the scientist was not the one of the "do not disturb him for he is on the hunt to save the city jet again". It was from "You screw up, big time" kind of type.
It was eight months since he blew up an entire solar system- well five-sixths of one, actually. When you are Rodney McKay, you do not do regular things, just like you do not make small mistakes. Doranda was perfect example of that.
You would think that after blowing up an uninhibited set of planets, people could act a little freaked out, maybe loose trust in some of your abilities, but after some time they would start to treat you somewhat normally, right.
Well, Elizabeth Weir shouted, and suspended him for two weeks from his lab. It was of course forgotten when another crisis hit the Atlantis systems and he naturally was the only one who could fix it.
Radek understood his point of view, he was pissed, but understood, more, he could come in terms with it, at least enough to work with him. What or who was worse to deal with was Sheppard. Rest of his off-world team found out about this event, Teyla made one comment, Ronon grunted and they just were over with the situation.
Lt. Colonel probably would never trust Rodney again. Before "the event", they may not be that close to each other, but were team-mates and maybe even friends. Now John barley tolerated the mere presents of the doctor. They still went off world together. However, the entire team dynamics shifted. There were far less teasing form those two. Rodney was mostly spending time with Ronon or Teyla, who ever stepped on Colonel's bad side that particular day. He still counted on Rodney assessment and "pulling miracles out of his proverbial hat" in heat situations, but other then that he ignored the man.
There were no more jokes, no more teasing, watching the movies on team's nights. It was as if McKay did not exist outside of the working space. That hurt more then the shouting. Rodney did not have many friends. Well he had no one he could even call a friend.
More and more people were distancing them selves from Rodney. Partially they took the queue from their Commanding Officer, the marines, that is. Civilians just thought that Rodney needs his space. They simply got out of his (harm's) way.
Those who worked close to Rodney noticed the difference in the man.
He was still as arrogant as ever, but he was double-checking his work, which resulted in his efficiency. What normally would have taken him thirty minutes, now took him an hour. Simple tasks he has done millions of times before, he double, triple checked and the more risky ones that he did not give to Zalenka, took even more time. Every time Dr. McKay was not off world he would spent in the labs. The man practically stopped any attempts to communicate with anyone outside his working space. Sure, you could see him in the mess hall, but usually he ate alone.
Few weeks after Rodney spent mostly in his lab, Carson, the witch doctor, practically dragged him to the mess hall to eat because people started to notice his weight loss, and dark circles around the eyes, that and Carson was warring about his sugar levels.
After that he started to eat more regularly, Carson backed off. Heightmeyer did not, at least not right away.
It took only few sessions hitting the wall that was sarcasm, arrogance, and petty responses, all so Rodney that was enough for her to stop insisting on meeting him.
McKay's days were turning more and more in too a pattern.
Quarters. Labs. Mess hall. Labs. Quarters. Occasionally debriefings and missions, but those were less and less frequent. Many times Zalenka replaced Rodney on some "diplomatic' missions that required more sophisticated approach, which of course loud-mouthed Canadian was lacking.
To outside lookers it may have looked as if McKay unconsciously was preparing Zalenka to take over. To Atlantians it was just another peculiarity of Rodney McKay.
When Rodney reached his quarters after one of his 24 hours out of 28-hour day in Atlantis spent working, he only had strength to sit at his bed. His empty stare would alarm many people, if they were looking.
Rodney put his head in the palms of his hands.
This was the most hated time of the day for Rodney. It was when he was physically exhausted but his mind kept swirling and working despite him. Eight months and he still could not forget what he had done.
The failing was not a new concept to Rodney.
As always, he had thought that he could do everything and again failed.
First, he failed his parents. Just by being smart, too smart for his own good. Of course when placed on a scale with his sister, perfect example of the proper McKay, everything he was not, completed the picture. He has gathered few minor failures on his personal life followed by few professional ones. Like when he started to work in his dream job at area 51 and when the time came to present him self he failed. It was when a member of SG-1, Teal'c, needed help, trapped in the Stargate. The list of his failures just went on and on… That was not even counting all the mistakes he made while in Atlantis.
Ah, Atlantis. It had become his home and the people here had become his surrogate family. Well, not any more.
"Entire solar system!"
How long can you screw things up and be forgiven?
"Destroyer of worlds" was the thought that came to his mind. He had read the title among the files back at the SGC, but he had never thought that the term would apply to him.
Atlantis was his home, but after everything he had done…
Let's face it he was a genius. He was the foremost expert on Ancient technology, in not one, but in two galaxies. Nevertheless, despite his, no matter how justified, rants about how brilliant he was he knew he was not irreplaceable.
Zalenka was doing a great job, and although he would deny he ever even thought it, it did not change the fact that the man could do his job. Maybe not better, but still be able to put things together.
Let's not forget about brilliant and sexy Dr. Samantha Carter. If Atlantis could get Colonel Carter they would definitely pull trough.
As the thought entered his mind McKay felt his body relaxing. Atlantis would be better without him.
Elizabeth Weir sat in hr office and waited for the people she began to think of as a family in the last two years on Atlantis, even Ronon, silent but deadly runner, begun to register on her emotional radar. Today however she was meeting them to talk about one member of their family who was source of her concern.
Dr. Rodney McKay. She sighed under her breath but straighten ion her chair as she noticed the Athrosian woman entering the conference room closely followed by the Satedan. Teyla bowed slightly and headed to her usual chair. Ronon stood silently leaning on the wall near the entrance.
Next come Dr. Carson Beckett engrossed in conversing with Atlantis' personal shrink Kate Heightmeyer. They stopped their conversation and nodding to Elizabeth silently sat on the empty chairs. They were waiting for two more expedition members. One of whom hurryingly entered the room with his nose in his laptop and absent-mindedly sat on nearest chair while he continued to check computer screen. Few things could be said about Dr. Radek Zalenka; one would be that he spent too much time with Rodney. Some of his behaviour social skills were rubbing off on the man.
Finally John Sheppard stepped in to the room. He headed to the sit on Elizabeth's right noticing that the sit on her left was left empty. It was usually Rodney's chair.
John felt shiver run through his spine. He was not the one the hunches but he felt uneasy.
Elizabeth ought silently, but it was enough to have the attention of the room on her, even Zalenka stopped working and looked at her.
"I think you all know why I wanted to meat with you?" all nodded their heads.
"I know it may be little over the top but I am worried about Rodney, he has been acting strange lately." she continued and saw few heads nod sadly. "I would like to know what you think about it." She looked around the room and silently pleaded the people there to tell her she was wrong or at last find some magical way to resolve this problem. She looked at Kate and was about to ask her opinion about the situation when lights in the room started to flicker.
Radek looked alarmed and started to type on his computer, his eyes moving as fast as his fingers on the keyboard. He had frown on his face strangely resembling ones of his boss'.
"What is going on?"
"Sorry Dr. Weir but we may have a problem. It seams Atlantis systems are shifting its power to one part of the city and we have no idea why." His eyes went wide
"To je špatné, it is going to the direction of the privet sections." Seconds after his statement, the room was bathing in darkness.
"Don't panic, secondary systems will switch to earth generators any minute now." He did not even finish his sentence when the light switch back on. True they were little dim, but they were on.
"Let me rephrase Elizabeth's words. What the hell is going on?" stated Sheppard.
Zalenka just blankly stared at the colonel.
"Do I look like Rodney?" he asked. John look slightly taken aback by that statement, the room fell silent.
"You may not notice, Colonel, but I can't give you all the answers in few seconds. Atlantis does not react as fondly to me as it does to you but let me work. " Radek buried his nose in his laptop and started ignoring all but his work.
"Maybe we should call Dr. McKay?" Teyla shyly asked.
"Let the lad some rest, will ya? He just went to get some rest! Surly we can take care of one little problem?"
"Little?" The scientist yelped just before he started muttering to himself in Czech.
Of all the ways to go, he did choose neither special nor unique. He took his handgun from his bedside; he had kept it there since the first attack of the Wraith on the city.
He looked at the emptiness of the barrel and got lost in its depth.
He was too far gone to notice the shift of power in the room or the electricity filling the small space with loud buzz or even lights starting to pulsate in psychedelic manner.
Closing his eyes, he missed the parks that flew from the control panels on the walls; he slowly put the gun to his chest. He would choose to aim at his head, but he was too proud of his precious brain. Surly they could use it to the well being of man kind.
He let his finger push the cold metal of the trigger.
Pulling the trigger was easier than he thought. He managed to hear the bang.
It was just like in those stories you hear about near death experience or you see in cheap movies when everything is in slow motion and your life flashes before your eyes. Well the slow motion thing was at least correct in his example. As an astrophysicist he was well aware of Einstein's relativity theory and noted with small smirk the theory in action.
In his state of numbness he felt how the bullet pierced through his skin and felt the small pang of pain and then how his skin give away under the pressure of the speeding bullet penetrating his flesh. He heard how the bone cracked before the metal. Then the bullet stopped. Somewhere near the heart. He even failed in that.
Funny, he thought it would hurt more.
Finally he felt the warmth of his blood purring down his body and soaking his blue uniform. His life was leaving him just like his consciousness.
Before blackness surrounded him he heard how his heart stopped, to be brought back when he felt strange surge of energy running through him, then stop again. He was to far gone to even notice his body flinching at the sheer power running through his dieing body until the blackness finally claimed him.
At 19:38 atlantian time, technicians noticed a power surge running throughout the city, interfering with all the computers. It was nothing they had ever seen. Shots of electrical power ran through the walls and send sparks creating impression it was American holiday 4th of July. Suddenly all systems in every part of the city woke up. Steady charge was cursing through the buildings. For a few moments Atlantis woke up to its full power.
The buildings started to shake as enormous energy pulsed through every fabric of Atlantis.
The city shook one last time before pricing vibrating sound came from nowhere.
Sound resembling a whale song was heard in every part of the planet and deep into space.
Those in Atlantis and on the mainland upon hearing the song could have sworn they heard a piercing scream, like someone was mourning. Everyone stopped to listen to the sad song.
It ended just as unexpectedly as it stared and the city once again crushed in to silent slumber.
No one knew or could explain what had happened just moments before.
At twenty hundred hours Atlantian time, Dr. Radek Zalenka found Dr. Rodney McKay dead in his quarters. The radio of his CO sounded deafening in silent room. The voices of people shouting and calling McKay fall on dead ears.
Radek looked at the room of his friend and suddenly felt sick. The smell of blood made him nauseous. He run to the body and checked for pulse. He noticed burn marks on McKay's body. He looked around and suddenly understood. He knew what the shift of power and the surges really were.
"She was trying to save him" he whispered. Tears fall from his eyes.
He somewhat regain his composure enough to radio for medical team.
Dr. Carson Beckett rushed to McKay's quarters, hoping that the scientist could be saved, but lost hope when he got there. First time since his first year college he felt nauseous at the sight of a dead person. His medical eye could see what his heart refused to acknowledge; that Rodney McKay just killed himself.
When Elizabeth heard the news over the radio, she crumbled into her chair and allowed tears to fall down her face. She did not look at the faces of the remaining members of SGA-1 gathered in her office, ironically gathered there to help Rodney in the first place; if she looked up she would see sadness in Ronon's eyes as he punched furiously the wall and tears in Teyla's.
She would see unseeing eyes of John Sheppard standing in the middle of her office looking at the gate room, the look of disbelieving in his face.
The news of McKay's death quickly spread throughout the Ancient city. The official note said that Dr. McKay's gun fired when he was cleaning his gun due to an electrical surge from malfunctioning systems of Atlantis. The burns on his body supported the theory. Only few people knew the truth. Just as only few people understood that the song they heard that day was a tribute.
It was Atlantis giving her one last tribute to one of her heroes.
Chevron seven - Locked!
To je špatné – NOT GOOD (thx yolanna)