Mikey came up last night. He came from four hours away just to take me to see a movie and take me to dinner. All because I said I really wanted to go out. It makes me smile, it really does. But at the same time, I can’t. I won’t. I am using Mikey. I know it. He has money, and I don’t. He has lots of things that I don’t have… things I like to use. But I won’t get too attached. I refuse.
Vengeance flipped on me, trying to play it off as he was worried about this new guy. “I don’t like him” he even said out of earshot of Mikey. I don’t really care who or what that boy likes right now. It doesn’t involve me anymore, huh? Shads was a little cross I hadn’t warned him about the arrival of a new player, something about wanting to get to know the punk ass who thought himself good enough to get in his little sister’s pants. But that’s Shads. He makes up where Syn, my own flesh and blood, lacks. I forgive him each time because he is my brother and I love him. But that didn’t matter tonight. The devil himself could have come down to Georgia just to take me out, and Synyster Gates couldn’t be bothered to look up from his… whatever it is. Tonight it was his blonde headed bimbette. I hate the girls they all bring home, but my brother seems to have some of the worst taste. At least Mikey showers regularly, and I don’t mean in cum.
Anyway, Mikey was so sweet. He seems really shy, when you first meet him. When I first met him he dropped his lighter three times trying to hand it to me outside of the mall. I was waiting for Johnny to come and pick me up, he had gotten high and forgotten he took my car, and my lighter was conveniently in the middle console of my 96 Ford Contour. Anyway, he had been standing outside, waiting for his brother to bring the car to him, they had a shit ton of bags, and he was smoking. I swear, the dorky ones are the best. They, normally, know all the things the jocks know but are so much more grateful to receive the attention. I’m not trying to be callous or rude. It is the truth, people with low esteem get the same boost as people with high esteem. They are just much more gracious when receiving. That was one thing I loved about Vengeance, he seemed so down to earth. Like he didn’t know he had sex appeal or something.
Mikey has these eyes, they are kind of hypnotizing. I love it. They aren’t as bright as Vengeance’s or anything, but they draw you in. Eyes are a big thing in my book. I love the male anatomy, I think it is so much better to look at then a woman’s. Their chests all defined, their torsos with those severely angular hipbones, Adam’s apples, hard jaw lines and then soft eyes. Something about a good looking man makes me go weak in the knees. A pretty boy with a sweet smile can make me do just about anything. And boy, is Vengeance a pretty boy. Mikey is pretty, too, but in a sort of get to know him kind of way. It isn’t as obvious, in your face, as Vengeance (and all my other boyfriends) is. He’s quite, and likes to do nice things for you.
He bought me roses tonight, they were sitting in the front seat. A dozen long stemmed roses… PURPLE, even. I told him it was thoughtful and kissed his cheek. In the car, I fixed one into my half up pony tail, just to show him I liked them. I wasn’t sure why. I know why Mikey is here, and it isn’t because I want another boy to buy me flowers the same color as my name. Obvious. He had reservations at Olive Garden. I know, not fancy or super date like, but I am madly in love with their mushroom raviolis, and it made the day better eating them. Zacky and I had gotten in to a fight when he left for work this morning. So the food was comforting. He took me to see the latest Rob Zombie movie. That man can make fucking amazing movies. I swear. His music, his movies… Genius. Then we went for a drive. Just a drive, music softly pouring out American Idiot. No real talking. And when we got home… he staid the night. Mikey is amazing in bed. He’s not really long, but he is thick. And he lasts. Apparently I just caught him on a bad night the first time, because he was even wearing me out, and I have been known to break a boy. Not to toot my own horn when it comes to sex, but “BEEEP BEEP BEEEEEP BEEP!” Just sayin, No one’s ever complained about spending the night with me.
But Mikey, he was fantastic tonight. Apparently, thought, I still hold the crown of sex queen in the house as Mikey is passed out on the bed, his glasses on the nightstand and a sheet barely covering his junk. I remember when I was little, when I was just realizing that boy’s did in fact have coodies and that I liked coodies: I always wanted to have a boy to sleep with. Not fuck, just sleep. I wanted a boy who would cuddle with me, hold me close and I could fall asleep with his breath tickling my ear. Now I have that option, it’s stretched and lying on my bed. And yet I sit here, typing away. Am I just a masochist? Do I like taking away what I want; taking away any chance I could really have at being happy? Is Zacky Vengeance really worth not only my heartache, but the heartache of poor, innocent Mikey Way? And, what’s worse, do I really care, as long as I get what I want in the end?