Ken was in love with Suguru Fugisaki, but he had no idea how to go about his feelings. After getting the half truth out of Ken, Taki and Ma-kun decide to give him adivice. Be more aggressive? Ken? ...
I thanked everything good in the world that I had on these shades, because if I hadn’t, I knew the look of horror in my eyes would have given me away instantly. My eyes just wouldn’t stop twitching with every word Tachi spoke; for a moment I wanted to smack that smug grin off his face before he made things worse than they already were. Honestly, we were lucky Seguchi gave us a second chance, and I thought Tachi was over his obsession with Shindou; why the hell did he keep rivaling him like this?
Tachi and I were great friends, no doubt about it, but right now -- I wanted to kill him.
He just wouldn’t stop spewing crap about Bad Luck, making the lead singer, Shuichi Shindou, very upset. It’s not that I particularly cared about what Bad Luck thought about ASK, because I’m sure they don’t like us thanks to Tachi.
But that’s not what bothered me.
I watched helplessly as Tachi insulted Shindou, something about being ‘second’ to ASK. The kid only shot back with a retort of his own, something about being ‘first.’
Once again, I couldn’t care less what Shindou thought; but I did care what he thought. His dark eyes were narrowed at the three of us; he had even made a move to step forward to do heaven knows what, only to be stopped by one of his band mates; Hiroshi Nakano, was his name.
I just hated the thought of him grouping me in with Tachi; again, I love him like a brother, but it’s no secret that all of Bad Luck hates his guts, and I’m sure they have no problem lumping me and Ma-kun in with him. Normally, I’d stand right by Tachi and let them think what they want, but not this time.
I don’t want him to hate me too, not when I feel so strongly about him.
Suguru Fugisaki; I’m in love with him, and he hates me.
“I said let’s go, Ken-chan.” Tachi’s voice brought me out of my horror. He had been giving me an odd look, almost as if he were asking ‘what the hell is wrong with you?’ with his eyes.
“Oh, right.” I followed him and Ma-kun down the hall, glancing back at Bad Luck as they retreated in the opposite direction; all going back to their own happy world, just as they had been before we bumped into them.
Suguru had been laughing at something, probably Shindou’s antics. I study him a lot, I’ll admit. I can tell he tries to hide when he’s amused by Shindou, but I never fail to notice when he cracks a smile after berating him.
I turned back to face where I was going with a small smile of my own stuck on my face; that’s when I collided with Tachi, who had been facing me with crossed arms.
The look on his face startled me; it was amazing how a single look from that man could scare the crap out of me.
I glanced at Ma-kun just as he moved into our studio, shutting the door behind him. Leave it to Ma-kun to leave me alone with Tachi at the worst possible time.
My eyes drifted back to Tachi, who was still giving me that damn look. I hate that look; it makes me feel like spilling everything to him, thinking he’d find out anyway.
Instead, though, I kept my mouth shut and waited for him to speak.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked, sounding slightly annoyed with me, though I couldn’t figure out why. Maybe he noticed how quiet I was when he confronted Bad Luck; normally I at least snicker at his harsh words, but seeing as how Suguru was there, I kept my mouth shut.
I arched an eyebrow in an attempt to act as if I didn’t know what he was talking about. “What do you mean?”
He didn’t let up that stare; in fact, I think it hardened for a moment. He knew I was lying, he always does. I’m not very good at it like he is. Me lying to him is like an inexperienced fighter trying to brawl a world champion.
“Don’t give me that Ken-chan. You’ve been acting weird for the past few weeks, even weirder than Ma-kun.” He snorted, probably at the thought of me being weirder than Ma-kun.
I wouldn’t say Ma-kun was especially weird; just his outlook on life. He ate whatever he wanted, then complained two minutes later when he felt like crap, only to eat the same thing the next day. He bought the nicest, most expensive of cars once he laid eyes on them, only to never drive them anywhere. He bought a truck load of cloths, only to wear them once. I don’t think I could ever live the same slapdash lifestyle as his.
Okay, maybe he was a little weird.
I averted my gaze to the far end of the hall, looking past him but still acting as if I’m looking at him. He wouldn’t be able to tell through my shades; I couldn’t show that I was avoiding his eyes. “I didn’t realize, sorry.”
“You act even weirder around Bad Luck,” he pointed out candidly.
I felt my chest tighten; I was horrified about what his reaction would be to me liking someone from Bad Luck, which is why I never told him to begin with. What the hell was with the third degree anyway? It wasn’t like Tachi to be this perceptive when it came to anyone that wasn’t Bad Luck or anyone he wasn't obsessing over period. On the other hand, we’ve known each other for a long time. I suppose he just grew accustomed to my mannerisms. That and he changed a little after that whole business with Seguchi and Bad Luck was over.
Took him long enough.
I tried to conceal my blatant nervousness by attempting to sound as blasé as possible, though I knew I could never match Tachi’s laid-back attitude. “Why should I? I don’t give a crap about them anyway.”
Tachi stared at me for a moment, his expression remaining vacant. I could tell he was studying me. He was trying to tell if I was lying or not, which was his expertise. I don’t know what made me think I could get away with it.
The next thing I knew, he reached for my shades and pulled them off. I made a grab for them but he only pulled them away, his eyes boring holes into my own.
I knew I was screwed.
I tried so hard to lock my eyes with his, without looking away. I felt my eyelids twitch slightly, and I was sure he noticed it.
He kept his stare, not faltering for a moment.
That’s when I lost it; my lips twitched into a smirk, and a few barely audible snickers escaped my lips. I turned away to release them all, hoping to get it out of my system. I often laugh when I'm nervous; it would always be the peril of any lie I bothered to tell.
“You suck at this, Ken-chan.” He chuckled lightly, handing me my shades as he shook his head. “I know I was never the best person to talk about "dear diary crap" with, but I’d think you’d tell me when something’s getting under your skin this much.”
I looked at him for a moment before putting my shades back on. It’s true, I was able to talk a lot easier with Tachi after we were given a second chance, but the fact of the matter is that there was still plenty of the old Tachi hanging around, and that was enough for me to keep this secret from him.
“It’s nothing big,” I assured him, lying through my teeth. It was a little easier this time, though, since he wasn’t studying me with that intensity that he did before.
“Does Ma-kun know?”
“No.” I spoke before thinking; Ma-kun did know, but only because he figured it out himself. He had caught me gazing at a picture of Suguru in a music magazine. There was no way I could deny my feelings for him in the position Ma-kun caught me in. It was so embarrassing; I had this love-struck look in my eyes, and I was stroking the picture with my hands like a freaking’ idiot!
I felt bad about Ma-kun knowing and not Tachi, but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him.
He looked like he believed me, since he started to walk towards the studio door. He put his hand on the knob, looking back at me as if he realized something.
“If it’s not big, then how come he doesn’t know?”
I had forgotten that I told Ma-kun everything, simply because the guy was a great listener. It wasn’t a trust thing, or a closeness thing; I’m equally close to both Tachi and Ma-kun, and I trust them both with my lives.
A person's secrets just tend to pour out when talking to him, even if they don’t intend for them too. Hell, Tachi himself tells him things he wouldn’t tell anyone, even me. Neither of us mind; it was just always understood that if we thought one another wouldn’t be too interested, then we wouldn’t tell each other.
You could talk to Ma-kun about gum and he’d seem interested.
“Just tell me, Ken-can. Unless you think I’m going to kill you or something.”
'You might.' “It’s just, uh…” I tried to think of something, anything to tell him. I decided, in the end, to tell the half truth. “I’m in love with someone.”
Tachi released the doorknob and crossed his arms, giving me a contemplative look. I just wanted him to say whatever it was he was going to say already.
“That’s why you’ve been acting so weird?” he asked dubiously.
Tachi laughed. “That’s all? That's why you're nervous and twitchy? You would think you’d never…” he trailed off, starring at me as I harbored a look akin to a pout; he stopped making fun of me for the moment and chuckled. “Well, what’s her name?”
Tachi? Avoiding a perfectly good joke at someone else’s expense? He really has changed, now I’m sure of it. He passed up a perfectly good 'Ken's a virgin' joke. If only the guys in high school could see him now.
“Do I know her?” he asked right after his first question.
I didn’t want to give too much away, but I didn’t want to lie; just give the half truth. He was still one of my best friends, after all.
“Him,” I muttered.
As it turned out, that was the best move I ever made.
“Ah, so that’s the real reason why you’ve been acting funny, hm? You’re gay.”
I was so grateful that he wasn’t making any connection with Bad Luck that I had started to smile again.
“I guess so.”
“Well, ask him out already so you can stop acting so weird.”
I felt my cheeks turn red, and I started to fumble over my words. The very thought of asking out Suguru Fugisaki frightened the ever living hell out of me. I knew he’d say no anyway, why would he say yes? He thinks I’m a prick, a bastard, a jerk. He thinks I’m like Tachi.
“Uh, he doesn’t like me,” I mumbled, rubbing the back of my head.
“How do you know?” He arched an eyebrow at me. “Did you tell him?”
I shook my head and frowned. 'I don’t have to tell him to know.'
Tachi sighed, causing me to look up at him. He walked over to me and lay a hand on my shoulder. “Ken, you just have to be more aggressive.”
I looked at his hand, then his face. “What do you mean?”
“I know you, you’re too passive. You need to march over to him, and demand he take notice of you.”
“Demand?” That word may as well have been foreign to me; I didn’t know anything about being aggressive. The closest I’ve come to being aggressive was when I was angry, and somehow I doubt glaring and shouting was going to get me Suguru Fugisaki.
Another hand patted my back, and I turned to see Ma-kun there with a big goofy grin on his face. My eyes widened at him. “Where did you come from?”
“I was here the whole time, Geez, man. I feel so invisible,” he laughed.
“You were listening, weren’t you?” I narrowed my eyes, and he just responded with a sheepish chuckle.
I sighed and walked inside our studio, moving over to a chair and sitting down. Ma-kun walked in after me and took the seat beside me, followed by Tachi who merely leaned against a nearby wall.
“What's this guy like?” Tachi asked as he looked at me.
I looked to Ma-kun, who gave me a cheesy grin, then looked to the ground. “Well, he’s reserved, quiet, younger…” I trailed off, afraid that I would give too much away. It’s not as if he paid attention enough to know Suguru’s personality, but I still felt like being careful.
“Yeah,” Ma-kun started with a chuckle, “I would take Tachi’s advice. A guy like that needs someone to take control, you’ll have him so red and flustered, and he won’t be able to resist you.”
I glared at Ma-kun through my shades; he was doing this on purpose. He knew just what to say to make my mind drift back to Suguru, and now I was picturing him blushing because of me.
Despite my glare, which he probably couldn’t even see, he continued to speak.
“Yeah, guys like that don’t wanna’ admit it, but they secretly like someone that’s demanding. Just look at that Shindou kid, he’s obsessed with Eiri Yuki.” He stopped talking, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Don’t turn out like him though, or you’ll have a Shindou, Eiri Yuki complex.”
That thought scared the shit out of me; But, I knew I’d never treat Suguru like that, ever.
“Shindou’s stupid, don’t use him as an example,” Tachi scoffed. “It’s simple, next time you see him, be aggressive.”
I sighed with frustration. How was I supposed to do that? “I don’t understand.”
Ma-kun suddenly stood up and looked down at me. “Get up, I’ll show you.”
I arched an eyebrow at him; show me? “What?”
Ma-kun sighed and grabbed me by the front of my sweater, forcefully pulling me to my feet, causing me to yelp.
“I don’t think manhandling is going to work, Ma-kun,” Tachi deadpanned.
“No duh,” Ma-kun replied in response. “I’m going to show him how to be aggressive. You know, what to do to win him over.”
My eyes widened; he was what? “You what?”
Ma-kun smirked at me and put his hand on my chest, pushing my back against the wall, next to where Tachi stood. He leaned in close to my face and whispered into my ear. “I said, I’m going to show you.”
I gulped, my eyes moving to Tachi, who had a look of amusement on his face. Actually, he looked like he was about ready to laugh.
Ma-kun backed up and grinned at me. “See? That’s all you have to do.”
Tachi huffed. “What, push him against walls?”
Ma-kun narrowed his eyes at Tachi, crossing his arms. “Yeah, I see guys do it to each other all the time. They like it.”
'I know I did.' I only had that thought once, and I vowed to myself never to think that again.
Tachi shook his head. “That’s only going to get him so far. He can’t just go pushing this guy into walls, hoping to get in to his pants -- idiot.”
Ma-kun laughed. “Then by all means, 'master of what gay guys want', show us what you meant.”
“Are you crazy?” Tachi asked incredulously.
“Well, you wanna’ help Ken-chan, right?” he argued, patting me on the shoulder. I hadn’t realized that I was still pressed up against the wall.
Why couldn’t Suguru do that to me?
Tachi sighed in irritation, walking in front of me while gently pushing Ma-kun to the side.
“First you have to make eye contact,” Tachi said, locking his eyes with my own. I was glad Suguru’s eyes weren’t so piercing like his, or I would never be able to take my band mates advice.
“Okay,” I replied, listening intently.
His voice suddenly got softer. “Speak low, as if you’re speaking only for him to hear, no one else. Don’t be too quiet, but don’t be too loud.” He planted his hand on the wall, next to my head. “Look at him and only him, never avert your gaze, not even for a second.”
When the hell did Tachi become such a romantic?
I nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
He leaned a little closer to me. “Don’t get too close so he feels trapped, but don’t be too far either. If you’re at just the right distance, you’ll leave him wanting you to get closer. When it becomes obvious that he wants you to close the distance, then you do it.”
I couldn’t help but picture Suguru in Tachi’s place, though he was a lot shorter than I was. Still, I felt heat rising to my cheeks.
“And don’t wear your shades, let him see your eyes. You want him to see the feelings in them.”
“Uh-huh,” I replied, my voice cracking. I couldn't believe he expected me to try this on Suguru Fugisaki!
I heard someone snickering from beside me, and turned to see Ma-kun holding his hand over his mouth, trying to fight back laughter.
I lost it and started to laugh myself, Tachi doing the same thing after a while.
He moved away from me and crossed his arms, grinning impishly. “What?”
After Ma-kun was able to stifle his laughter, he finally spoke. “The look on Ken’s face,” he broke out into more fits of giggles before continuing. “He was so picturing that guy!”
Tachi turned to me and arched his eyebrow. “That means it will work, since you seemed to enjoy it so much.”
I looked away, rubbing the back of my head. I was way too passive to try something like this on Suguru, or anyone for that matter, but maybe if I tried I could do it.
“Tachi, you really are the 'master of what gay guys want, huh?” Ma-kun teased, earning himself a glare from Tachi.
“Go to hell, Ma-kun.”
I laughed as I watched the two argue over Tachi’s sexual orientation. I knew that even if it didn’t work out, I’d at least have these two to help me through it, even Tachi.
“Tell me Tachi, how many guys have you bagged?” Ma-kun broke out into heavy laughter, holding his sides.
“Shut up, Ma-kun! You’re an idiot!”
It dawned on me pretty quick; he was so good at it because he wasn’t passive, just aggressive.