Chastity, Civility and Chivalry. They were virtue firmly embedded in me. But they were lead into question as was my faith. That was until she came…my love, my redemption.
Hope you'll enjoy reading it.
TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS
Chastity, Civility and Chivalry. They were the virtues firmly embedded in me by my parents. The weekly Sunday mass was a compulsion. It was a different time then. The Church was the core of society and very few individuals strayed from it.
I never thought that I would be one of them.
- § -
Loss is a broad concept that umbrellas more than simply death. It covers a broader spectrum such as the breakdown of (a) relationship(s), emotional numbness, hate, in essence a (wo)man can be compelled to lose his or her humanity.
- § -
“Time heals all wounds.” The saying is partially true. I learnt to live with the gaping hole in my heart. Perhaps not practically but nonetheless, I continued on.
And then she came.
At first, it was her beauty that struck me. Long dark hair, full lips, pale skin…she was the epitome of youth and innocence. It jolt me at how one look could get me so wound up. I didn’t know how or when, but I found myself deeply infatuated to the point where I could barely think of anything but her.
She had managed to draw me back from my wandering ways…to God and his Church. My desire for her conflicted with rationality.
How could a relationship between us work? A ghost and a mediator, a fairytale romance that so far had been unheard of. It was more just passion. As clichéd as it sounds, she became the core reason for my existence.
We fooled ourselves into thinking that if we had each other, nothing else mattered. But the realities always lingered, an unspoken thought.
Eventually, she voiced those concerns. “Dominic,” she stated, her warm brown eyes glistened brightly with unshed tears, “I love you, I truly do. Which is why I have to let you go. I cannot do this to you. I can no longer be selfish…”
“Jacqueline, I…” I guess she anticipated what I was going to say, I had after all spoken those words numerous times before. It didn’t matter that our relationship couldn’t by pass more than a few stolen kisses. I didn’t care for marriage or children. All I wanted was her, , despite her 'ghostly inadequacies' as she called it.
"No, Dominic let me finish. It just can't work between us. I have to let you go." She cupped my face gently and I relished in her touch. "But…but know that I love you. I will always love you." She was about to disappear out of my life forever but I couldn't let that happen.
"Jacqueline, no. Please…you cannot leave me…I'm begging you." I was sure that I had scrapped my knees from where they lay kneeling on the floor before her. My shirt was drenched from the tears that I failed to conceal. But my thoughts were too preoccupied with keeping her from leaving to worry about those trivial matters.
"I'm sorry, Dominic." And then she left.
- § -
At a ripe sixty two years, I was beginning to feel the weight of my age especially considering the youthful children surrounding me.
The past few weeks were joyous to say the least. Susannah's wish to have Jesse in her life as a corporal human being was granted. Against science or logic.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
I couldn't help but feel somewhat sadden that Jacqueline and I were never given the same chance. But for now, I lived under the knowledge that I would see her soon.