(#) jabarber69 2010-05-24Hey that was cool and well done as to what happen in the potter vaults, but in this story is dumbydork evil or just manipulative?
Author's responsejust manipulative. He keeps trying to do what he thinks is best for Harry and Harry just keeps ignoring him.
- It's interesting to see just how well connected Harry really is and Albus doesn't have a clue, nor even an idea about where to buy or beg a clue. I do rather like the way Harry's power is spiking upward considerably as he comes nto his inheritances; methinks there's still more waiting for Fate to drop on him and frustrate Albus with, especially now that all of his devices have been so very thoroughly trashed.
- Not bad. Not bad at all. Normally i don't look at stories with this low chapter length as they tend to be written by illiterate, unimaginative 13-year olds, but this story looks very promising. I like the characters, i like the imagery and i like the language. However, you are running at high speed into the very trap that has almost killed my own story; an abundance of resources and details. It's easy to get lost in a jungle of details and trinkets. Beware, keep to a pre-planned storyline and don't get carried away. Great stories have died horribly from such things. Just some friendly advice. I want to see where you take this.
Author's responsethank you for your review. I would like to say that there is a valid reason for the short chapter length; that reason being my inability to concentrate for long periods of time. I have a tendency to stop a chapter as soon as I have explained the chapter title. I think I might try and remedy that later on however. But I digress.
Generally I just write straight off the top of my head, but by the look of it you may be right, I may want to write out the general plan first.
On the subject of your own story, I enjoy it very much. If you have need of a beta I would be happy to do it.
(#) Scabbers1957 2010-06-07I'm really enjoying this so far..by noting the number of characters..I can presume this is going to be a mulit-pairing. If it is I hope it doesn't end up being a smut-fest.
I've added your story to my alerts.
Author's responseit definitely will be a multi-pairing, and there willl be smut, but I'm going to try to limit it as much as I can. If I do put in smut, it will be in a place where there's a good reason for it; this story will not turn into a PWP if I can help it.
- Until the family lines were revealed, I was wondering in what story there was a master of the staff (as a weapon) and the sword... I was certain that this was a cross-over and that Harry would be taught how to fight with said weapons by some master...
You got me! ;-) I can't believe that I didn't even think about this possibility (it's not as if there are no other HP fanfics having Harry heir of Merlin or Arthur that could have given me any hint, aren't there? ;-p)
I do wonder about the dream and the girls, though... I would say Hermione as the brunette (though to have her fly...), Ginny as the red-head, I would have said Luna as the blond, but I got back to the main page and it must be Fleur. Or not, as Luna is also cited in the character list... The black haired one, though, I have no guess...
I hope you will update soon, because I really would like to know what you intend!
Author's responseyou were right that Hermione was the brunette and that Luna was the blonde, but you were wrong about Ginny. I will however tell you the redhead and black-haired girl's identities if you want me to. Fleur will come in later on in a way that not many will expect most likely.
...and the fact that Hermione is afraid of heights does not come into play. Harry and the girls will never actually fly like this, I just used it because it provided me with a way for Harry to have his girls around him yet not be able to see their faces (at least until he meets them in real life).
The flying is also really only because the Harry in my fic is like the one in canon because he loves to fly, though mine will not be a weak, powerless, wholly innocent (boo hiss) imbecile who can't tell a girl likes him unless she screams it at him.
thanks for the review, and I hope to update soon!
(#) lowprofile 2010-06-24um, judging by the last chapter, is this going to be another one of those manipulative dumbledore stories?
Author's responseit will be, but Harry will just ignore him and Dumbles will just end up immensely frustrated because Harry ignores him so much of the time.
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