Harry is properly threatened by Mackenzie Granger, get's a surprise, Gives Voldy a headache, and begins to teach Hermione how to use a lightsaber. Voldemort is having a bad day and the goblins s...
- Good chapter. So is Hermione's dad going to be a Jedi? Thanks for writing. W.
Author's responseThanks Wolfric, and no. HE can use the force, but Harry wouldn't dare place him in hazard like that. Hermione would kill him! On the other hand, he can use a lightsaber, and he has twenty years experience with a Katana, so I've decided he'll be helping to teach the new Jedi.
- awesome stuff. hermoine's dad, if not a jedi, will be an exceptional addition to the teaching staff. after all, he handed harry's ass to him, even if by surprise, and could hold him off when he put effort into it.
Author's responseThanks. There's no extra charge for awesomeness. (Kung-Fu Panda)
Mackenzie will not be going into battle against the Deez, if that's what you mean. On the other hand, I decided early on that he would be teaching Harry's students.
He did. he beat Harry four times in a fair fight, and it was only when Harry leaned into the force, that he lost. Still, he was a very good sport about it.
- Good crew in the Jedi DA. Also good to see MacKenzie get some action, not as good as Harry's though. Love Graswold's way of handling the attack. And looking forward to Vernons return from OS. Good read. Cheers.
Author's responseHeya Zamia.
Harry needs the best he can find. At the end, he's going to select the best twenty or so of his crew, and they will face the Deez.
I have long envisioned Mack as a former SAS operative. (Actually, I think I first got the idea from Aaran St. Vines on FanficAuthors.net)
Graswold: Someone mentioned i hadn't made them bloody enough. My belief is that they are an honorable race, forced into a bad situation. They have the rigid moral code and the military wherewithal to support it. Kinda like a combination of Ferengi and Klingon.
Vernon's troubles are just beginning.
- A well written analysis of all the minor characters personalitiy traits.
And an interesting if overcomplicated scheme (it fits for a beginner) for getting even with the Dursleys.
Well done & thanks.
Author's responseThank you, erik. Getting each character down properly takes a great deal of study.
Revenge: Vernon's character came in to play here. He's a sneaky, underhanded bastard, with delusions of grandeur. I learned a long time ago, that direct revenge was too easy to trace back, by the victim, so I decided to do what I think he'd do. How better than to use his own methods against him?
(I used something like it for Ron in 'Harry Loves You'.)
(#) sargentaaron2004 2010-06-12 07:16:30 AMWow, you went in depth with the dates of stuff in this chapter... seriously, you didn't have to go to such great lengths.
Another great chapter, thanks.
Author's responseI actually prefer to read (and write) longer chapters. My ideal is between five and ten thousand words, sometimes I get carried away. You'd be amazed at the amount I cut out. Before final editing, it was 16,519 words. Some of that will be set into the next few chapters.
Thanks for the kudo's.
- Many thanks for this latest chapter; I enjoyed reading Harry's discussions with Mackenzie and Arthur. Both of them would be excellent teachers as well. It would give his students a better sense of what it's like to face someone experienced in combat. Even though Harry's senior advisers like Arthur, Mackenzie and McGonagall won't be on the front lines I have the feeling that at some point the battle will come to them and their situational awareness might make the difference between survival or death. The same is true for Graswold. I wonder if Voldy is savvy enough to avoid underestimating them on a long term basis. Dumbles certainly is doing so! He never considers that he could be wrong; and whether he was like that from the beginning or it developed over the years it will lead to his fall. To a lesser degree the same is true of Vernon. Harry's revenge against the Dursleys' will be most unpleasant, and every bit it well deserved! I also thought that Harry's procedure for choosing jedi was well done. Thanks for figuring out a way to save Fawkes! He and Luna will make a marvelous pair, and here's hoping that at some point you rub Dumbles' nose in it! As always, I anticipate the next chapter! :)
Author's responseAlthough some people tell me I'm being too wordy, (especially FireLemming, who's on a poetry kick), I feel it's important to go into the whys and wherefores of the situational as I go. I detest using Deus ex Machina, to explain things.
When I began this, I had already decided to have Mackenzie help in the training, due to his familiarity with bladework. As a 'mere muggle', he's going to have a great many lessons to teach. More, as he's going to be their primary PT instructor, ably assisted by Tonks and Remus, of course, some of the student's are going to be unpleasantly surprised.
He won't be in the actual fight, because of his inexperience with magic, but as a trainer, especially in the first couple of styles, and overall physical fitness, he will be more than an asset to Harry.
Arthur and Minerva are more useful where they are. Their primary job is to keep Albie in the dark. Arthur is going to draw some flak when Harry springs his little surprise in September, but as he won't be alone, I think he'll get off pretty lightly.
Your point is well taken though, so I might have Arthur there in a cameo. Though I didn't have him demonstrate, he is also able to touch the force. His experience with the blade could come in handy when teaching Makashi.
All three can teach situational awareness, but one has to experience it firsthand to fully understand it. (Please trust me on this.)
Voldemort: Voldy won't underestimate Graswold again, but he will still try to 'influence him', and every time he does, he'll lose gold or troops.
Dumbledore has been been seen as the greatest wizard in the world for so long, he's begun to believe his press. At this point, he cannot conceive of his being anything but perfect. Unfortunately like most Purebloods, he sees the goblins, as semi-intelligent animals with a knack for handling gold. That will hurt him in the end. Graswold meant what he said, when he said it would take over sixteen years to audit Albie's accounts. BWAHAHAHAHA!
The Dursley's: Can you say 'Community service'? I knew you could! Can you imagine, beyond the investigations, and public and social scandals that they'll be unable to escape, to be informed that a plea bargain had been arranged...by Harry, for them to serve the very people they had so long held in contempt, rather than go to jail?
This way, he has complete control over where they live, what Vernon does for a living, where they spend their off time and where Dudley goes to school. He's not going to be overtly cruel, but he is going let the neighbors know exactly what the 'fine, upstanding' Dursleys have done to an orphan they were supposed to nurture.
They will be his prisoners. If they learn the lesson, he will release them If not, then for the rest of their lives, they will have no freedom to do anything without his say so.
I'm thinking soup kitchens, hospital wards, and street cleaning.
Fawkes: It was your comment in Chapter 10 that decided it. While I couldn't use the Yoda scene,(and God, did I want to!) I was able to work out an alternate. I'm going to have him form an emotional bond with Luna based on her unconditional love and nurturing. This will keep him alive until I'm ready to shit things. Harry will ask him to keep an eye on Dumbley, (and prank him from time to time) while his bond to Luna is solidifying. His next burning day, at the end, is when the bond will be switched, and it will be in front of Dumbley. That'll hurt!
Note:: Rowling (and most FF authors) uses the burning days far too often to suit me. Fawkes is a phoenix, and everything I have read on Phoenixes/Thunderbirds, is that they live for one hundred years before immolating themselves and being reborn from the ashes. In canon, Fawkes has burned three times within four years, though one time was Voldy's fault and the last seemed to be voluntarily, so I guess that could explain it. Unless iI'm using it as a way to keep Albus from doing something, I won't give him a burning day.
Until next time...
- Ah, a most enjoyable chapter that I had to read multiple times to savor before commenting. I loved the Queen's direct reply, complete with appropriate historical reference. The discussion with Arthur was both fun and educational, giving us a bit more background while setting up Arthur to run interference with Molly as well as running disinformation to keep Albus out of Harry's way until he and his people are fully hidden. Methinks Arthur should also be a training resource once they get a fair way into their training; if he was an Unspeakable, he should have some experience and knowledge, not the classified material - obviously, to impart that can't be otherwise obtained and will stand Harry and his troops in good stead. The scene with Mackenzie Granger was a delight as a protective father's honor was satisfied without things getting out of hand and Harry found just the trainer he needs. Since he can deal with the Force but not magic, Mackenzie Granger won't be front line troops (probably saving Harry from a lot of grief from both Hermione and her mother) but he'll be doing vital work in bringing all of them up to snuff physically (he's going to get hated for that) and training them in the styles he knows.
Lucius got lucky, he abased himself enough and Tom trusted him enough that he survived, this time. Methinks he's definitely going to wonder what "friend" sent him that package. Tom, on the other hand, has a new source of headaches (didn't expect that link to be quite so good both ways, did you, Tom?) that I'm certain will not help his performance. The venture to persuade the goblins was quite a bust and I expect he'll try more extreme measures next time, only to draw back more of a bloody stump. He, and most of the wizarding world, are too trapped by their condescending view of goblins to appreciate just what they're dealing with (I suspect muggle-born and/or muggle-raised magicals who've been exposed to a reasonable bit of sf&f will have a far better time with the goblins; which could really frost the arrogant purebloods).
I like the recycled connection between the Potters and Grunnings; I'm certain Vernon will (not!) appreciate the irony that he could've had a far better situation by just treating the child properly. As 'tis, I think Harry's got a most excellent revenge developing and it's going to be so interesting to see it drop on the Dursleys unsuspecting selves when they return from Majorca (well, actually, when they check out there, based on what you've said).
As for Fawkes and Dobby, that was a very thoughtful move by Dobby and it should be interesting to see how a creature with as unique a viewpoint as a phoenix will deal with a witch with as unique a viewpoint as Luna has; this could be quite a match and I can see where Fawkes switch of allegiance could make life all sorts of "interesting" for Albus.
The sorting that Harry went through to find his trainees was informative, especially the reasons he rejected some folk (heh, Cho just can't win with him, her loss). I find it interesting that those with criminal behavior were "encouraged" to turn themselves in; he's not going to punish directly (not, really his place) but he's not going to just let them go free; a marked contrast to Albus' MO.
And, no, you're not being wordy, you're carefully laying the foundations, now, for what's going to happen later, even, I suspect, in what appear to be throwaway lines. I'm quite enjoying this story and I'm looking forward to seeing the "fun and games" on September 1.
Author's responseHeya Cat!
Thank yeew! The queen scene was both hard and easy to write. I respect Elizabeth II. She's fair and just and has been all her adult years. Not many monarchs, (or presidents for that matter) could say the same.
As I explained to Teresa, Arthur will be mostly background support, with Mackenzie taking a more active role. His experience in skulduggery may come in handy but I'm setting them up for a direct confrontation. He will also provide information on the Order, where Amelia provides Information on the Ministry and Augusta passes on the Social circles' news.
Just now, his hardest job is keeping Molly from meltdown. On the other hand he may make a walk on or two.
Mackenzie: Precisely! In all aspects.
Lucius: I need him alive until the last, or I'd have had him made into a wall hanging. His willingness to allow Voldy unrestricted access into his mind, was the proving point. Since he knew he was not guilty (of this) he literally had nothing to fear. Voldemort s crazy...not stupid.
IN addition the 'friend' question is going to seed suspicion throughout the ranks. How many people knew? How many people had access? Who stood to gain the most?
Tommy's headaches are here to stay. He'd thought the link had been broken entirely, but there's just one little thread holding on. It''s enough. Imagine if the entire link was there. He'd be mind-fired by the middle of Harry's first time with Hermione!
Seeing the new suspicion I've seeded, plus his failure to 'convince' the goblins at the loss of eleven more minions, and the increased interest of the ministry, he's going to become more desperate, and desperate people make mistakes. I'm hoping to keep him from attacking too many muggles, but in a war like this there's unfortunately going to be some collateral casualties. Amelia, along with the Gendarmes Des Magiques, she's arranged for, from France, will help to keep these to a minimum. I want Voldy to learn he's in an untenable position. Each time he attacks someone, he will lose some of his people. This is going to drive him mad(er).
I think you're right with the attitudes the purebloods and mugglebornes have toward the goblins(and other magical people). The pureists have considered themselves the top of the pile for so long they cannot see any other way. Mugglebornes are, as you've said, more likely to have read some S/F&F. One of the prime tenets in most of those stories is: 'treating people with equality garners huge dividends'. (Nor Crystal Tears' by A D Foster and 'Decision at Doona' By Anne McCaffery are both very good examples.)
Even Hagrid respects the goblins for their skills. "Not the friendliest of folk, but clever as they come, goblins." (SS/PS)
Dobby: I was going to allow Fawkes to return to the magic, but Teresa suggested I keep him on by having Yoda visit him. While I really wanted to use that, I couldn't find a way to make it work, so I asked Dobby to step in.
Fawkes/Luna: I agree entirely. Fawkes is badly hurt by his bond-mate's fall, and more, because he couldn't prevent it. Luna is the healing 'earth mother' type, and will provide him what Albus never could. I believe her 'unique' viewpoint is partially induced by her gift, partially by the trauma of watching her mother die, and partially by Albus 'clouding her mind'. Fawkes' viewpoint comes from his being thousands of years old. Over time, each will heal the other and in the meantime, Fawkes will help to provide some intel on the old twinkler...along with some subtle and some not-so-subtle pranks.
Vernon is definitely NOT going to have a good day! His pain is going to start when he tries to check out of the hotel in Palma, and it's only going to get worse from there. Embarrassment...humiliation...SCANDAL!
Being the thick headed jerk he is, it's going to take Carolyn 'explaining' very carefully why he's in such a position before he understands how badly he screwed up. BWAH! BWAHA! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sorting: Thanks. Yeah. he needs people who will focus on a goal and having elements like Cho, Montegue, and especially Bletchley and the nibblers, would be detrimental to the whole. Oh, and Albie is an idiot.
Sept 1: It's gonna be dinner and a show, with a nice warm-up act on the train. Cho will make a cameo there and show that she's got a spine of steel. If she hadn't been lusting over Harry, I would have included her in the Jedi group.
Until next time...
Oh, and as for the queen's reply, What better way than to Quote Dumas?
The recycled connection between Joshuah and the Potters: I like that. It's one of the commonalities in my stories.
- What a delightful story! It reminds me of some others - in scope, attention to detail and levels of political intrigue - that I love and have read multiple times.
Thanks for all your hard work, and I am looking forward to future updates.
Author's responseHello again! I've always preferred well described stories. Deus ex Machina can only go so far. Thank you even more for enjoying the second(et al) time around.
Future episodes will normally be posted every Firday.