Shinya comes to Toshiya's life to change it for good.
Dir en grey Fan fiction
By : Judas_Tree
Toshiya x Shinya, Die x Toshiya, Kaoru x Shinshin, Kyo x Toshiya
Rating : PG-13
God knows how much I want to have them all to myself. But we should learn to share, shouldn't we? The story is mine, but the beautiful language is Tolkien's ...
Author's Notes :
One long week of disaster.. but I can't get my mind out of my fanfics !!! Nooo...!! ::sob:: sorry for the crap in last chapters, because I can't wait to post them ASAP, so they're really short. I'll try my best again in this one !!!! Btw, I love Shinya the most in that picture ::pointsabove:: -- so sincere and angelic !!!
Mail : firstname.lastname@example.org
Chapter 2 :
~ 12 p.m. ~
Today was perfect for Toshiya indeed. The sun shines not so brightly, held back his usually severe ray of heat to the world's surface. In this moment, the wind breeze easily, giving him a warm and calm mood inside. Is the weather truly good today... or his mind is making a game over him? So he decided to enjoy their small walk in the middle of narrow passageway, humming a very happy tune to nothing in particular.
" Totchi ... " , A call from his back.
" Hmm ...? "
" Where are we going ...? "
The onna-otoko who called himself an angel asked him with nearly a honeyed whisper, and Toshiya couldn't help but smile. How can a man be this feminine?
" My stomach is screaming, my lady. And what do you mean by 'us' ? Why are you following me ...!? "
Shinshin only blinked, a very slight of unwanted expression shown on his genuine face. And... that sensitive heart of Toshiya didn't fail to catch it and couldn't help but took a pity on him.
" Well, you can come if you like... it's not like I'm shooing you away...you can stay if you want to."
" No. It's just ... you don't have money to buy food ."
" HA !! Now admit it! You had come to my room and checked all over for money, and you couldn't find it , right...!? " ,
Totchi screamed in victory, ruffled the other's hair playfully.
" No! It's because-"
" Yeah, whatever."
They resume their walking in silence, but somehow, pleasant. Toshiya bounced merrily, as if a heavy burden had been lifted out from his core. A squad of little boys come running at his direction and bumped to his feet, but out of ordinary, he seemed didn't mind at all.
" Whoo, careful ... ! "
He said, waving to them with a big grin on his lips.
Shinshin caught this sight too, and this time, he's the one who breaks the silence.
" Are you happy ...? "
" Yes...! Funny isn't it ...? My mood is unbelievably good today !!"
" Un...After what happened ...last night? "
The human stopped his pace. Shinshin felt guilty right on the moment, for lifting that accident back to the surface. He still remembers clearly that night, how desperation and death ghosting in the other's being, and his big dive to the cool night air ... But again, instead of what he had predicted, the answer he gets is...
" Last---night...? "
" ... !? "
" What do you mean by last night ...? "
Toshiya spun around and face him, a big confused look plastered upon his face. Shinshin himself couldn't senses that he's lying. He really IS confused.
' So... he's forgotten already...? But why ....? '
But he decided to leave it behind now. As long as Totchi is happy... nothing else matters.
" It's nothing. "
" WHAA !!! You're lying! C'mon! Tell me !! "
" ... "
" Hey, Shinshin! "
He kept silent, as thousands of thoughts dancing in his mind. All that had happened are mysteries to Shinshin himself. His human can see and communicate this close with him... and forget about the biggest pain of his life. All of this... can be called a miracle.
He smiled to himself. Maybe it is a miracle... a miracle that happened at the time he declared his oath for this boy. God works in a mysterious way he himself couldn't figure, and he always believes... that everything will be good, from now, for eternally.
" Shinshin ! ", Toshiya whined, let out his pout to pushed him to spilled the truth.
If only he can lie, maybe he already spilled his lies out from his lips. But you know ...
Angels can't lie.
" I'll tell you later. I promise. "
" We're arrived ! "
They arrived in front of a small convenient store that is almost empty of customers.
Toshiya pulled Shinshin's skinny arm then, and bouncing inside.
They took small steps to the back corner of the shop, where canned food placed on the racks, and Toshiya had a very gigantic grin plastered upon his lips, while Shinshin only looked at him with a big question mark on his pretty face.
" ... But... they're pricey, Totchi. "
The grin didn't disappear, but moreover, grew even wider.
The human decreases his distance with the angel, and, shot a hoarse whisper right to his left ear.
" Who said...that I'm gonna pay? "
The angel's eyes nearly fall out from their places by shock.
" No! You're going to steal again, right...!? " ,
Said Shinshin in half screaming, made Toshiya's heart jump in fear.
" SHHHH !!!!! "
He hissed, made a middle-aged woman at the snack corner turn her head in suspicion.
" Look what you've done! "
" It's because of your loud 'shhh' earlier, not me, because she couldn't see me. "
Shinshin said casually.
Toshiya ignored him, pretending that a small canned food can be so interesting and examining its ingredients with a very serious stare. Right at the time when the old woman disappeared at the corner, Toshiya stuffed those poor canned foods inside his jacket, enough for a week but not too many to make anyone suspicious.
" Hey... stop! "
Shinshin tugged at his arm, pushed him to put them back on the rack.
" You-will-not-stealing-anything-from-here ....!
" Geez!!! Look who's talking! You're a damn mugger too! Just shut up before you made a whole shop come here and eating me alive! "
He hissed under his teeth, but quickly shut them up abruptly when one of the shop clerk walking to their direction with a not very friendly expression on his face.
" Hey, you-"
' We're dead. '
" SHINSHIN !! RUN !!!! "
and without waiting any longer, he grabbed the other's arms and took a massive run outside the shop.
" Hey .."
" WHAT !!!??? "
" Totchi, are you angry...?"
Toshiya took a deep breath, try to control his rage and hissed under his breath.
" Well... listen to this carefully ; I told you earlier to keep your damn mouth shut, but you kept on blabbering about I can't stealing a single fuckin' canned food, and then the shop keeper try to catch us when we run, but you stopped right at the time when we'll escape real good and said to me ' He wants to talk to us, Totchi ... Why did you run ...? ' and I'm also a fuckin' idiot to not to leave you back there and let him catch you when I can run freely all by myself, and in the end he caught us both and ended up in this cold jail floor like rotten animals, and you asked me : 'ARE YOU ANGRY' !!??? "
He let out his rage there, on a prison's cold tiled floor, where the police had taken them into due to Toshiya's criminal action earlier. No bed, no blanket, nothing to keep him warm. That condition only makes everything worse for Toshiya.
The angel fell silent, but not so long after whispering softly about what he felt inside.
" I'm sorry, Totchi... but stealing isn't nice, you know ? "
" I know!!! I'm fuckin' know !!! But you understand how it feels like to be hungry and have nothing to eat right !!?? Why are you so goddamn naÃ¯ve, and why won't you stop messing around with my life ...!!?? "
Toshiya screamed desperately and curling up in balls, resting his head on his folded knees.
" Shut the fuck up! I'm tired about your stupid angel thing !!! There's no such thing like angel in this damn world !! If they're really exist, I wouldn't be here, poor, cold and
sad !! I'll live happy with my parents, eat well, and sleep on a very comfy bed -"
The human stopped there, and then started to cry his heart out to his knees. His stomach started to get hurt, and his head is spinning. The shop keeper had hit him repeatedly right on his skull with a stupid frying pan and won't stop until he screamed for forgiveness.
But right at that moment, he felt a tender embrace circling his body, and a pleasant scent lingering around him. All his tensed muscles seemed to relaxed at once, replaced by warmness flowing all over his being. Somehow this hug felt familiar... maybe long long time ago ...
And he found an answer for his own question earlier : Why at that time he couldn't left this Shinshin back there, get caught and got whacked all by himself.
" I'm sorry.. what had happened to you is beyond my capacity ... but if I can give you a proof, will you trust me? "
Shinshin said then, and the human can't help but nodded at that time.
" Totchi ... "
Shinshin called softly onto his ears, patted his head gently. Toshiya felt like he's going to purr, and snuggled closer into the embrace.
" Hmmm ... could you please stop called me Totchi? My name is Toshiya. "
Shinshin only smiled, then answered.
" No. When you're still a little boy , everyone called you Totchi. "
" WHA - how ...? "
The human lift his body and sit up, facing the angel with disbelief....
'Totchi'? that name sounds familiar to him, yes. But he never remembered something about his friend called him by that nickname....
" Close your eyes... I'll make you remember it all ...your dearest early days."
Toshiya obeyed, and right at the time when Shinshin placed his palms at his cheeks, he closed his eyes and taken back far to his past.
It was in winter 1982, when the snow fell heavily outside the windowsill. The little Toshiya laid himself on the ruffled bed of the orphanage, try to hold back the ache in his head and high fever that struck his body mercilessly.
" Ne, Totchi, should I call Yumaki-sama...? "
One of his friend asked with a worry expression on his face.
" NO ! Please..! I'm fine... just don't tell her, please ... please, I beg you ... "
6-years old Toshiya screams in fear to his friends. He didn't want this Yumaki to know. She's a hot tempered woman that will spank every kid that makes problems. If his friends call her this late at night, Totchi sure that the bruises on his body will increase even more.
" It will be healed tomorrow morning... just sleep... don't worry about me ... "
He whispered, then, obeyed his words, his dearest friends go into a peaceful slumber.
It's already 3 a.m. , but his fever didn't seemed to go better. He's tossing around again, and whining hoarsely under his consciousness.
" Please help me... It's hurt .. somebody help me ..."
And then, little Toshiya surprised to found himself in someone's embrace, so warm, nice and serene. He inhaled deeply and could smell a pleasant fragrance lingering into his nostrils, all his pain seemed to fade away.
' Weird ... Yumaki-sama never smelled this nice ... '
He thought, because the only one adult in that orphanage is that woman. So, filled with curiosity he opened his eyes and lifted his face, only to meet with the most beautiful thing he had seen in his entire life.
An adult, very lean and tender sit there beside him, and hold him tightly. His hair possesses a color of very light amber, his face somehow seemed agonize. But despite the dark and cold night outside, his being seemed to glow in that room, shining on its own ray of light.
" Who are you ? "
Little Toshiya asked, but the other only smiled warmly at him as an answer.
" Help me please ... I'm sick ... "
He whined then, snuggling deeper into the other's arms who patted his head very gently.
" It's weird, I'm feeling much better now ...! "
He answers his own request, and then lifted his face again.
" Did you help me? You're the one who healed me, aren't you ...!? "
Toshiya then reached out his little arms for his Teddy bear that a guest gave him months ago.
" This is for you ! "
He said, handing the teddy bear into the other's hands.
" Thank you , Totchi. "
Finally he let his graceful voice came out, make our little Toshiya grinned broadly with happiness. Then, with a soft beautiful melody flowing out from the other's lips, he found his best peaceful slumber ever.
" So ... it's you ... "
Totchi said, blinking his eyes in awe. That memory being refreshed again inside his mind, and he recalled what happened after that in the next morning. He cried all day and tried to find that person everywhere, but found nothing at all. And the tears went on until he got tired of it and continuing his life, buried that memory deep down and forgotten.
" You remember now? "
Shinshin removes his palms from his human's cheek, smiled softly at him.
" That exact same smile ... how can I forgot ..."
The human said again, lift the angel's palm again, put it back onto his cheek as if hat is where they actually belong. He closed his eyes then, moved his face in a steady rhythm, try to savor the warmth forever.
" Shinshin .. what kind of power did you possessed...? "
He really purred now, then decided to follow only his instinct and took a big hug to the creature of light in front of him, let his spell spring into his body.
' I'm always there beside you, Totchi... even if you never notice, but I'm there with you through everything, good and bad... '
He said inside, but somehow, felt the human's embrace suddenly loosen from his body.
Toshiya started to make a gap between their bodies, and stared agape at the other's back.
The angel turn his back to face the human, and said,
" This is my proof. "
Toshiya couldn't believe his eyes. A pair of white wings made from light grow on his back, swaying softly into the air, translucent, frail and tender.
So ... he really is an angel .
" When the day is still new, at a precise midnight like this, my wings will visible. It's because the world is born anew, and humans' sin is not committed yet. But it never last long enough... "
The human couldn't help but lift his palm and touch them, or more precisely put it inside that bouquet of light. They felt exactly the same like the owner, giving a bizarre warm sensation through his hand, and make their way to all over his body.
That very moment, together with that heavenly creature in front of him and touch his beautiful wings made Toshiya a little bit drunk and dizzy by happiness. He traveled his eyes through the other's body, from his amazingly soft amber hair, his honest eyes, vaguely smiled thin lips, his supple form, and finally the most beautiful wings that he ever saw in his entire life. Well, he had seen them everywhere before ... but human's interpretation of them is totally wrong. They didn't have itchy feathers and absolutely didn't horribly big... the real one is more ...
" I think .. I trust you now. "
He said in whispers, as if afraid to scattered their sacred moment apart. He wanted forever ... just sit there and watch him, forever.
" Arigatou. "
Shinshin answered and give him his most beautiful smile again, and Toshiya couldn't help but stared at him eagerly.
" But when humans giving birth of sins, this wings will disappear. And when the world born again, the cycle will repeat itself. "
Not so long after what the angel had said being truth. His wings started to blurred very slowly, and darkness took over once again. This made Toshiya suddenly had a very big feeling of lost tugging at his heart, and following his instinct once more, he crushed his body to the other's, nearly shattered him inside of his solid embrace.
" Wha -- What's wrong, Totchi ...? "
He can sense his human's breathe raging beside his ears. He's shaking.
" ... I'm afraid that you will vanished too , this all is just a dream, and when I wake up I'll continue my miserable life all by myself ... "
He buried his face deeper into his lean shoulder.
" Please tell me you won't leave..."
" I won't Totchi, I promise. "
And with that honest promise from his dearest friend, Toshiya's lips formed a thin smile, and his eyes slowly fluttered close.
A/N : So... how was it ??? Too sweet? Don't worry. I don't like the sweet part either. The next part will be much better !!! I PROMISE !!!