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Converting Jared

by jlyEchelonMCRmy 2 Reviews

Innocent school girl Stacey gets more than she bargained for when she falls for 'the new kid' (aka Jared)

Category: 30 Seconds to Mars - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Romance - Characters:  - Chapters: 8 - Published: 2010/07/15 - Updated: 2010/08/12 - 7295 words - Complete

Reviews

  • Converting Jared

    (#) eileanskye 2010-07-31 04:06:40 PM

    please more!!! :)
  • Converting Jared

    (#) eileanskye 2010-08-14 11:10:01 AM

    So, after you've finished the story I think I should give you an overall review :)
    I really like this story and I think it's your second-best so far (the best being 'I miss you Jared Leto', I just love that one :D)

    However, there are some things you could improve. This is really meant to be constructive criticism and no offence. I'm not an expert myself but that's just what I noticed while reading, and maybe it helps you :)

    I think you have really good ideas, the only thing is that sometimes you're "jumping" too fast from one thing to another, which sometimes makes things seem a bit ridiculous...if you know what I mean.

    But other than that I think you're a good writer and hopefully you will keep writing, because like I said, you have really good ideas! :)
    xx Stef

    Author's response

    Thanks you so much for trying to help me improve! I have a few more stories planned and I will bare that in mind!
    Thanks again and I hope you check out any new stories I upload!
    Jen xx

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