This is seperate because...I don't know.
I can feel myself once again that I'm slipping. For those few days I though I'd be okay. But I'm not.
I'm really not okay.
I still haven't cut.
But I want to. It's summer though and I don't want to do that.
My friend has this thing she wants to do with me, she wants me and her to sit with my mother and tell her everything about me. Apart from my not-wanting-to-be-female. Because even my friend doesn't know the whole story. I told her I'd defo do it. But I've backed out. I'm too scared. If I told her all that, she'd tell me father and then my sister would find out and the rest of my family. I don't want them to think differently of me, to treat me different. I don't want that.
Like I've said before,
I want help, but I don't want help.