I woke up with a huge head ache. Gerard wasn’t next to me in bed, I don’t really give a stuff where he is at the moment I just need painkillers. I saw them on the table with a piece of paper. A note from Gee, I read threw it. Tears welled up in my eyes, was I really doing this to him? I had hurt him so much and I couldn’t see. I cried on my way to the bathroom, I vomited in the toilet, as tears ran down my face. I cleaned my face up, I looked in the mirror at myself, what has happened to me? My eyes are red, I haven’t shaved in a while, my hair is overgrown. I looked a mess. I banged my head against the wall over and over again. I need to get help. I desided to clean up, I shaved, I washed, I scrubbed up. I looked a little bit better from when I first looked but I was a disgrace to myself. How could I let it get this bad? I was letting the best thing in my life slipping out of my fingers.