Remember, what they do ain't the answer.
The bridge over the pond. I saw it from the corner of my eye; a spark ran through my drug induced brain. "Helena?" I smiled as she looked back at me "Do you wanna do something with me?" she looked so confused; how sweet, how trusting she was as she followed me. I jumped onto the side of the bridge; the water was so deep under here, glass covering its bed. "Jump with me" I whispered down to her, my hand stretched for hers.
She took it; climbing up to my level, smiling back at me. "Together" she whispered, holding our intertwined fingers to her lips.
"Forever" I whispered, kissing the top of her head.
Turning, we stepped into thin air. Together we plummeted into the freezing water.
The cold knocked the breath out of me; gasping for air water filled my lungs. Bubbles popped against my skin, opening my eyes I saw Helena; still holding my hand, still smiling. "I love you" I tried to say, the water filling my mouth and sliding down my throat. 'I love you too'. Her lips moved to the words; but I heard nothing, not her voice, not the gargled breaths she was taking, just silence. It was so peaceful down here, the lack of sound just the two of us walking to the end hand in hand; I smiled at the thought, being together forever, no pain, no sadness, just the two of us.
My breathing began to gain speed; my lungs were nothing but water, my hands darting to my throat as Irealised how unpleasant the feeling of drowning was, not as peaceful as Ithought. Helena stared, drifting towards the rocks and glass, staring through glazed eyes, a peaceful smile fixed in place. 'NO!' I meant to scream, but my body couldn't, it didn't feel like a scream to me as my body filled with a cold numbness. 'No' I thought, my eyes rolling back in my skull.
We'd be together now, united in death; that's what I thought. But I couldn't move through the black void. Where was she, I'd done this for her. My body lurched forward onto an invisible floor, pain where my skull hit it. There wasn't supposed to be anymore pain. Something punched into my chest, forcing my body to lurch back and forth. Water gushed from my mouth, a never ending stream. Coughing, spluttering; death wasn't so peaceful.
"Come on" a faint voice echoed through the nothingness. I couldn't move, I couldn't answer; not out loud or in my head, it was like I'd been muted. I continued lurching on the ground, the depressions strong and sharp on my chest. "Don't give up on me! Please!" the pain in that voice was so strong; the sobs breaking through. I knew that voice. It wasn't who I'd expected; why was Mikey here? It made no sense.
My heart exploded in my chest, so painful; so satisfying. It beat like a kick drum over and over; slow, sombre. Bhump, bhump. "Please!" Bhump, bhump. Igasped, the darkness breaking around me. A knife through a bubble.
"Ah!" white light shone in my eyes; why was it so bright!
"He's conscious!" a sob broke through my Mom's relieved yelling "he's awake!"
Arms like vices locked around my neck, my chest. Lips pressed on every inch of my face.
"Mom?" my voice shook with the tears I tried to hold back "where's Helena?"