After about the fifth time her foot connected with my ribs, she stopped. She just stared at me laying there on the ground crying and and suppressing screams then she moved out of the way of the door. Here was my oppurtunity to get out of here and I knew if I didn't get out now, I probably wouldn't for the next week. I grabbed everything I needed out of the bathroom to get ready, which was only really my brush and deordarant, then rushed past her as fast as I could go. The pain was awful and I didn't want to move, but if I didn't leave there and soon, I'd be seeing a semi-automatic pistol in my face. I could feel her watching me, waiting for me to mess up on something. I grabbed a pair of clothes that I could wear for the day and shoved everything in my school bag. I made a quick scan over everything then grabbed my house key and sprinted out the door despite my pain.
I ran in the direction of the school and slipped into an alley about three miles from my house, far enough to be safe. I finally stopped running and I collapsed after I found a secure area and began to sob. Every ache and pain really began to seep in then and the pain was worse since I overworked my muscles. I hadn't stopped because my brain had told me one thing, and one thing only,run. I clutched my shirt and squeezed it as tight as I could to try and block out all the sharp jabs of hurt that was in unison of my heart beat, but I couldn't. I didn't want to move but all I could do was sob. Finally after my muscle soreness began to ease away, the pain started to become bearable and the schock began to fade. It was about an hour after I'd gotten into my secluded area that I gotten up and began walking around. I had to go to school soon... Gerard would be waiting to see me there.... I wanted to see his smiling face so bad... I wanted him to console me and chase my aunt away like she did my attackers from the day before, but I knew that my wishes wouldn't become a reality right now... Rose is going to have a heart attack if I don't get to school soon, I thought. I controlled my sobs and then picked myself up. I was bleeding again, nobody would be too happy about this and I could imagine Rose yelling indecisively because shed be speaking so furiously, but I didn't really care... I would be away from danger and it would have to do, Rose could scream and holler all she wanted and it wouldn't matter, I'd be safe.
Clutching my side, I began to slowly pace my steps so I wouldn't be traveling too fast or too slow. I didn't want to fall because if I did, I didn't think I'd be able to pick myself back up. It felt like every step I took made me use an obscene amount of energy to even make an effort then on top of that, lifting it up to move myself forward.
After what felt like hours, I was finally on the school campus. When I was close enough to the metal gate surrounding the entrance way, I grabbed onto it as tightly as I could and slowly lowered myself to the ground so I could sit. Something didn't feel right. I was too light-headed and I felt so... weak. I looked down and I had realized, I was only in a pair of short-shorts and a tight pink lacy tank top, I hadn't changed from my night clothes and I didn't have a bra on. If any of the students saw me, they would surely start numerous rumors about what I had supposedly done and with whom I did "said" things with. I struggled to pick myself up again and then, yet again, I began to inch my way to the main office.
I decided that instead of taking the normal route which might make me have an encounter with someone, I chose to go around the back way and give her a suprise visit through Rose's office window. Walking around the back of the school wasn't very unfamiliar, and luckily for me, behind the school was nothing but pure forest. The only downfall about the back of the school was that if you weren't careful, you could get attacked or raped. The walls were covered with graffitti and the cops have tried on numerous occasions to paint over it, but nothing worked. The cops around here really don't give a fuck anymore... This town is just so run down that instead of the town being called "Newark," it should be "Depression" or maybe even jazz it up a little and call it "Hopeless." Rose's room seemed so far away... and the more I continued on, the weaker I felt. I began to feel numb, and started to feel nothing. I felt no pain, it was almost like I was on a cloud. I rounded a corner after stealthy making my way around corodors and openings in the long buildings and finally saw my goal. It felt like I had just recieved an adrenaline shot and I sprinted towards her window. What would have taken me maybe ten minutes to walk to at the pace I was going at took me maybe five seconds tops. I must have ran about fifty feet and I began fiddling with the window latch when it was in arms reach. It seemed that my hands didn't want to work and they just seemed to get in the way. I could feel the adrenaline slowly wear off and as soon as it was almost gone, I heard the satisfying click of the window and I pushed it open with all my might and scrambled to get myself in hoping that I wouldn't get stuck halfway. Sure enought, about halfway through, I got stuck and it put an enormous amount of pressure on my abdomen and I felt the warm liquid oozing down my side. I felt a pair of rough hands on my arms then pull me through the window and I let out a loud gasp and sob once I was on the floor.
I curled up into a ball and I let every ounce of energy that I had held back escape from me. I was rocking back and forth clutching my side screaming and I felt like I was slipping away. Every second she wasted stareing at me made me feel further away from reality. She looked down and saw that my body was covered in blood and she rushed over to me and grabbed her jacket in the process and applied as much pressure on my side as she could. I heard a sound of what sounded like someone screaming for help, but I couldn't make out the words... I felt my body slowly getting colder and colder, kind of like the opposite effect of sitting by a fire on a freezing night in winter. In stead of heat creeping up my body from the exercise that I had just undergone, I felt as if I was slowly getting frozen... I heard another scream and I could make out that it wasn't Rose's scream but someone else's, then right after it ended abruptly, I felt three new pairs of hands on my body. I felt all the hands move from my sides to underneath my body then I was lifted up and set on as table. Funny, if it was Rose's desk, I didn't hear anyone move anything off but maybe during the second scream, the items had gotten shoved off the desk. My side that was oozing out blood felt colder than the rest of my body, they must have cleaned off the area? It didn't matter what I thought, I was probably finally getting what my aunt and uncle wanted, me dead. It turned out dying wasn't as bad as everyone said it would be... I didn't feel pain, and that's what I've grown up into, a lifetime worth of pain. I felt a familiar sharp little sensation in my right side and I heard, sobs? I wouldn't be missed, so why is anyone crying? I heard someone walk in and I felt two pairs of hands take my limp body and strap me onto a gourney and the proceded to take me to the ambulance.
The sirens were blaring,and that's all I could make out and hear, everything was getting so soft and faint. I didn't even feel like I was alive. In a way, it was tragic... A sixteen year old girl shouldn't know a gourney's feel or sound from first hand experience...
Next, I felt the slight bumps from the road, we were on our way to the hospital. The blackness began to increase and the sirens began to fade. I felt a smile creep onto my face, I was finally getting what I wanted... I'm going to die...
There was a lot of benefits (in my case) in dying... there was nothing I was really leaving behind. Sure, there was Rose, but I'm sure this is one giant stress relief on her and the school. I didn't have to deal with my aunt anymore. I didn't have to deal with my uncle or their piece of shit son Danel.... He was seventeen but he basically lived away from home. He was always busy and he'd only come home for: eatting, checking in from school, nature's callings, and sleeping. Other than that, me and him had very little contact with on another. He's a senior and now that his time is almost up at our school, he's been also contributing to my tourture as well. If I run from my aunt now, she'll call for him to come hold me down for her.
Unfortunately for me, he's the star Defensive Lineman on the high school football team... I've never stood a chance at getting away from his grip.
Danny (his nickname, which I thought made him sound like a little kid) was tall, lean, and ungodly strong. He was the tallest player on the team, a whooping six foot six inches tall, towering over everyone at school. So when I was at "home" he was the giant you paid the toll to so you could pass over the bridge in the fairytales you were read each night. Two hundred and fifty pounds of muscle and hands the size of bowling balls. He was graced with dark, dirty blonde hair and brilliant green eyes. If I hadn't of known the real side of Danny, I would see why the girls drool over him all the time. His face had very dramatic features along with his body,it was almost like he was a statue,all his features seemed to be chiseled out of stone. When he wanted to be, he could be a complete gentleman, but ofcouse... never to me. he was worse than my uncle on more aspect than one: he had absoulutely no respect for me,and he thought I was a piece of ass. I don't understand what's wrong with this family, but it maks my stomach turn. On Sundays, when Dannt knows it'd be just me and him alone in the house together, he won't go out anywhere, he'll stay home with me.
He, like my uncle, disgust me. The last time we were alone together, if it handn't been for my uncle coming home, I would have been raped. I've tried to block it out of my mind, but the nightmares never fade....
Danny knocked on my door and I hesitated to answer because I knew what he wanted to do. After he started beating on the door, I opened it since I had no other choice. He was standing in my doorway, eagerly smiling at me. He scanned my body up and down slowly and my heart started to excelerate, an aweful feeling shot down my spine and into the pit of my stomach. This isn't good, I thought. He took a step towards me and I didn't move an inch, I was hoping that if I stood my ground, he'd leave. Well, it back fired... he took another step towareds me, and his stomach seemed to be at my eye level. He took his enormous hand and rrested it lightly underneath my chin and pushed my face up towards him. I shut my eyes as tightly as I possibly could and prayed that he wasn't about to do what I thought he was going to do. Instead of his hand tightening around my jaw so I couldn't pull away from a fist on the left side of my face, I suddenly felt a pair of lips pressed against mine. My eyes shot open in shock and I pushed away with all my strength and to my suprise, I was free.
He looked at me a little confused and hurt, like no one had ever turned him down before, but that quickly changed into a sinister grin. I felt a cold sweat break out along my forehead and I backed into my room by my window just incase I needed a quick way outside. He looked at me and followed me two feet behind me. I felt trapped. I had no where to run. I was stuck between Danny and a wall. He breathed out a giant breath out and smiled sweetly at me. He opened his mouth and said in his husky voice, " Awwh, Alice... Why would you push away from me? I'm giving you what you you want aren't I?" I laughed out loud almost histerically at him. I saw his brow harden and a flash of pink on his light tan skin. He spoke again, "Alice, don't kid yourself, you know you want me. Every girl wants me and lets face it, the fact that we live together and that you can't do what you want to me drives you crazy" his face softened and he raised an eyebrow and looked at me as if waiting for an answer. I kept trying to suppress laughter but it didn't work, I kept laughing almost to the poin of crying. He stood there patiencely awaiting an answer. "Er...Danny, sorry if this will knock you off your ass right off your fucking high horse, BUT... How can I put this nicely?" I brought my hands together infron of my face then sighed, "I'm not attracted to you in any way shape or form!" I put my hands down then raised my eyebrows, "Now leave my room and leave me alone, bye Danny." Then, I walked over and began trying to push him out of my room,but instead of him budging, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his lips against mine.
I tried to push away, but my tiny weak body was no match for the embrace that I was trapped in. I felt his lips forced on mine, trying to make mine work with his. I kept continuously trying to fight him and finally, I got a hand free that I used to slap him across the face with. He let me go and his jaw dropped and he let me go. As soon as he let me go, I tried to make a break for it. Just as soon as I thought that I was free, I felt his hand wrap around my wrist. When he turned me around, I realized I only ran maybe three to five steps. He pulled me up to his chest and looked at me intensly, "Aww Alice, baby! Why are you fighting your desire for me? You know I want you, your body, your touch." His whole body seemed to shake for a moment and his hand began to creep up from my waist upwards to my stomach. My heart began accelerating, he wont do anything, he's just doing this to scare me, that's it!
He smiled when he felt my breathing increase. "So I am getting you hot Alice?" His smile turned into an unsettling smirk and I shook my head "no". "Aww, still in denial? It's okay baby. When I'm done, you'll be begging for more." I felt my eyes widen and I furiously began shaking my head "no" even more than what I was, and my cheeks felt flush and wet. Fuck, I'm crying now... Why doesn't he get that I don't want him?!
My eyes slammed shut and his lips pressed on mine again and his hand was slowly sliding my tank top up. His icy fingers fumbling up my stomach and I felt sick. He still had one arm around me,and I couldn't get away. I knew the more I fought,the more he'd try and I'd have to be careful of that. Danny could easily lie to my uncle about the whole situation and the sad part was, he'd hands down believe him over me. Even thought I knew this, I didn't kiss him back, I didn't surcome to his disgusting wants.
He intensified his pace of "kissing" me, but his hand seemed to stay at a sluggish pace creeping up my body. I wanted it to stop but I was thankful that he wasn't trying to go below the belt. His hands reached the bottom of my bra, then he stoped everything all together. He looked as if he was debating something but as soon as the thought enterred my mind, he was taking my shirt off. I opened mt mouth and began screaming at the top of my lungs and it startled him. He let go of me again and I sprinted off making my way out of my room,but as soon as I secured my foot on the bottom step of the staircase, I felt something wrap around my ankle and pull my down. I screamed, "Fuck!" and I tried scarmbling to my feet but it was a useless effort... I was already in his grasp. Once again, I began screaming louder and kicking, hoping that I'd kick him in the face or free his grip.
I did manage to get a couple good kicks in: once in the face and numerous times on the hands and one time, I heard a snapping noise and he grunted a little. Eventualy, he had goten a hold of both my legs and he pulled me down the stairs and got ahold of my sides, slung me over his shoulder and walked back towards the room. I felt as useless as a ragdoll. I could fight all I wanted, but it would do me no good. He'd have his way with me no matter if I wanted it or not, I was defenseless...
He threw me on the bed then ran to shut and lock the door. I persisted with my screams but I knew no one would save me. There was no one in our neighborhood who was gutsy enough to help a person screaming for fear they'd be next in the line to whatever injustice was being performed. I decided that I'd silence myself before Danny decided to do it for me. After he locked the door, he ran back over to me and sat me up then sat next to me. He pulled me closer to him and I turned my face in disgust and looked up teary eyed and, dare I say it... praying. I mouthed, Please god, make this stop,make him go away,make him leave me alone. He began kissing my neck and I saw an opportunity, if I but him hard enough on perhaps his arm or wrist, he'd leave me be... When I finished my thought, I felt his left hand move to the small of my back and pull me forward making me completely pressed against his body and his left hand was lightly placed on my cheek. His hand then trailed down lightly from my cheek down my neck, past my shoulders then rested on my breast. Up until this day, I'd never had anything done to me other than a kiss on the lips by Marcuss and he was drunk that day... What Danny was doing, it made me feel like trash, a slut. I haven't done anything to him except fight him, but I still feel like I was the one in the wrong, that I was Danny, that I was taking advantage of my cousin. Ofcourse, I know it wasn't me, all of this tourture is my family's issues, their skeletons. I haven't done anything thatwould provoke any type if ill doing they've brought upon me.
From there, Danny's hand went went into my bra and he started biting my neck. I screamed once more and then I heard a drunken voice, "What the fuck is going on Alice?!" My heart leaped, and the first thing I thought was help.
I had never been so happy for my uncle to get home early in my life. I screamed again and Danny's hand that was busy in my bra flung up to cover my mouth, so I bit it. I got as much skin in my mouth that I could and I bit it as hard as I could and when I did, the taste of blood filled my mouth. Danny screamed in pain, "You fucking whore!" then he punched me in the face. I fell back on the bed and almost as if in perfect harmony with my movement, Danny was stratling me. I could see him fummbling with his hands, but I couldn't tell what he was doing, the blow to my face had made my ears ring. I thought he was going to try and rape me or just beat me to a bloody pulp. I sat up and looked at him and I saw him press his bleeding hand against his side and he began repeatedly punching me in the face. Unfortunately, one of his blows "missed" and his fist connected with my collar bone and I felt that bone crack.
I thought that when I was calling for help, that was the loudest I could yell, but I was mistaken. It was almost like clock-work. The bone snapped and I let out a blood curdling scream of pain that terrified even me. I heard my uncle then start banning on my door. "Why is you fucking door locked Alice?! You know the rules in this house you dumb shit!" Danny then went to cover my mouth again with his hand that wasn't bleeding, but he didn't get the chance, somehow I had managed to sock him a good one right in the throat. Danny fell off me gasping for air and I yet again, made a break for the bedroom door.
This time, Danny didn't get up to stop me, he was too busy trying to regain his breath. I unlocked the door and swung it open. I looked up and saw my uncle, full cop uniform and all stareing angrily at me. The smell of whiskey radiated off of him and my heart sank. He wasn't going to be if any help at all... He opened his mouth to speak, but I didn't hear him, it was like I saw everything that just happened replay in my head over again. My uncle coughed,his eyes were glossy and he seemed for a lack of words, uncarring. "I said, What in the fuck happened here Alice?" he made sure to isolate every word into a fragment, as if he was trying to insult my intelegence. I studied his face quickly, he seemed unaware or uneffected to thefact that I was shirtless and that I bore the look of terror. Then, I looked back at Danny for a quick second then I rushed behind my uncle, and he followed my movement almost as if we were dancing gracefully. "Alice, I'm going to ask you one more time... What the fuck happened?!" I jumped a little,I hatn't had expected him to be so short tempered already with me. Almost as if a sudden switch was flicked to "on" in my brain, I told him frantically what happened.
After what had felt like ages of explaining, my uncle shook his head and his face turned to a deep shade of red and he began laughing. I knew it! Why doesn't he believe me?! I could fucking die because of this prick! My uncle wiped a tear away from his cheek and his laughter began to fade then he straightened his posture. "Now, do you really think that Danny would do such an outlandish thing to you Alice? Wait no... To anyone for that matter Alice?" I thought I had felt my stomach fall and hit the floor No.... NO! He doesn't believe me?! That--fucker! I shook my head "no" since I knew I had lost this war, then opened my mouth and spoke, "No, I didn't think that Danny would do something like this, until it happened. I didn't think that Danny was like his fucking piece of shit father and had thoughts of insecest swimming through his fucking tiny, incomprehensible brain! Or do you even know what that means Bill?!" when I had finished, I realized I was screaming at him. Involuntarily, my body tensed up and then I let out a yelp of pain. I had forgotten about my broken collar bone and the pain that surged felt like a sledge hammer was pounding against it, rebreaking it.
My uncle must have noticed the fact that something was broken or hurt, because he softened his gruff voice and scoffed, " Yes Alice, as a matter of fact.... I do know what 'incomprehensible' means and you really do think that my perfect son would do this?! Alice, he could get any pussy he wanted, when he wanted it!" he laughed a little to himself, "So why on this God's green fucking Earth, would he want you, you little piece of white-trash? And my boy isn't fucking into insecest and neither am I you little skank! You better get this shit through your pretty little thick skull otherwise it's gonna be splatter across the fucking concrete! SO! I don't want to hear anymore of these fucking rediculous lies! You hear?" I could only nod and look down to hide my fury. After I regained some compousure, I lifted my head back up and gritted my teeth once more, "It's not a fucking lie you dick sucker! Can't you understand that? Why would I make something like this up?! Why would I cause severe injuries to myself to 'support my story'? HUH? Riddle me that shit! I hate it here and I hate you!"
When I finished, I instantly felt a cold, blunt object strike my face and I fell to the ground and hit my head on a step. I clutched my head and looked up. I saw Danny standing behind my uncle, he had a mixture of pitty, anger, disgust, and hurt strone across his face. He was still clutching his hand where I'd bitten him and I could see the fresh blood trailing down his arm. When I saw that, I couldn't help but feel a wave of accomplish ment rush into me. Finnally, I'd hurt one of them. I had caused one of them pain... My uncle cleared his voice and my head snapped to him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him put his gun back into it's "home" in his holster on the right side. "Bitch! Don't you ever talk back to me like that again! Do you understand that?! Alice! So help me fucking God, the next time I hear another fucking word about my son and your fantasies, I'll fucking--" His voice caught off and I looked up and saw where his gase had gone to...
His gase had seen Danny's hand out the corrner of his eye and he had turned to confirm the sight. His eyes seemed to widen the longer he staired at his son's bleeding arm. "ALICE!" his voice boomed, he was almost screaming like a banchie, " What in the fucking hell did you do to him?!" He the grabbed Danny's hand and I had finnally gotten to see how much damage I had done in that short amount of time. Two of his fingers were bent to the right at the joints while the others were straight, I had broken two of his fingers at the middle joint. I smiled to myself, Good! I'd love to see that asshole try and play football now! Once my uncle had finished his brief examination of Danny's hand, he turned back to me. He glared at me and his voice was so low and sinister it sent chills up my spine, "Alice, you little cunt! Look at what you did to your cousin's hand! You just fucked his future you little bitch! You little goddamned whore! You're just like your mother... A little fucking no good piece of fucking trash!" Danny ran past me and up the stairs the the first floor, then quickly up to the second floor.
Quickly afterwards, my uncle leaned down and pulled me up by my hair and I started clawing at his hands. "Get up you little cunt-licker!" He then slung me into my room against the wall right next to my dresser. The breath hadd been knocked out of me and I started immeadieatly gasping for air and clutching my body, everywhere hurt. My body throbbed and it ached and I was begining to hope that he would kill me just to that the pain that was kept raditating and growing with each passing moment. "So Alice is going to try to act like a touch guy huh?! She's gonna lie to me about this supposive 'senario' (making the infamous air-quotes as said "senario") that 'supposively happened?! I'll teach you bitch!" he then picked me up by my hair once more then began slamming me into the wall until I passed out from the pain...
"Doc, will she --- okay?"
"It's ---- to --- she's ---- banged --- Rose..."
There was sobbing, "Alice is ---- little k----- doesn't deser---- hell!"
There was a...shushing noise? "I know------ a stong----she'll ----- through."
Wait... Did the other voice say Rose? That would mean... I'm not dead. I felt something wet and warm roll down my....cheek...? Am I crying? I must have been on Morphine and a pretty high doseage too. I felt numb and my body felt stiff.... I felt paralized but my brain was beginning to slowly creep out of the darkness it crept into. I heard Rose's voice now, she was weeping ad her voice was muffled... Perhaps she was pressed against the doctor's chest.
"Oh doctor, thank y--- atleast someone is acting like they ---------- her. I'm the only thing she really has."
"I noticed, I head about her horrible talk from old doctor, I'm still sorry that she left, Doctor Autum will be missed her greatly."
A pager began to beep and the high pitched repetative ringing hurt my ears. The man spoke once more, "I have to go, they need me in the E.R. I'll be back to check on her soon, bye Rose." I hear the swishing of his clothes and then a door open and close. Doctor Autum left? Where'd she leave to? Was it because of me...?
Rose sighed, "This poor, little innocent child... Why God? Why did you place her in such a broken home? What good has come of this? She lives in Hell and you do nothing to save her? Nothing to redeem her? I thought you were supposed to save the innocent Lord?! So why haven't you saved her?!" Throughout the breif monolouge, her voice got louder and more shrill then at the end, she began to weep once more.
By then, I had began to feel more secure and not as off balanced and I wanted to attempt to test my strength and see if I could sit up. I slowly began moving my fingers a little, then quietly slid my arms back fighting back wimpers of pain. Every movement I made achedm it was as if every tendon, muscle, and nerve was screaming in pain. When I had brought my arms back far enough to push myself up, I cautiously raised myself up and I thought at any moment, they would give out. My arms were as flimisy as cooked spaghetti noodles but suprisingly, I had mannaged to slowly lift myself up. For a moment as soon as I was straight up, I thought I was going to vomit, because unfortunately, we found out the hard way, my body doesn't react well to Morphine. I gullped and opened my eyes and to my advantage, the room was very dark, I figured either Rose or the doctor had dimmed the lights.
I began looking around slowly, I felt like a new born in a world that I didn't understand, everything seemed new even though I had been in these rooms countless times. I saw Rose on my immediate left in the dinky pale green chair right by the window and hger face was conceiled in her hands. I'd never seen nor heard this side of Rose before, she was always so strong for the both of us. It was very odd to her her broken down like this. Just as I did with my arms, I sluggishly brought my legs up to my chest and rested my head on my knees and my hands placed lightly on my feet. I wish she didn't have to watch me go through this... It's not her obligation...
I looked out the window and saw the city sitting outside and the sky was gray. It was raining and I longed to be out in it but I still felt a smile creep across my face, I loved this weather... It was so peaceful. Just about then, Rose looked and she let out a suprised gasp. She cleared her throat, "Alice!", her voice filled with glee, "Oh my darling little Star! You're awake and moving!" She stood up and rushed over to me and kissed my forhead. I felt a tear fall on my face and I scruntched my face up to make her laugh a little. She smiled then sat next to me wipping tears away. "Oh Alice, I don't know how you can find it in you to worry about everyone then yourself sometimes...", she sniffled, "You know thatn face makes me laugh no matter what!" I noded a little and smiled. She sniffled once more then spoke once again, " Well you certainly are a fighter honey... The medics thoguth you were going to die in the ambulance. They said your heart stopped right before they pulled up to the hospital. The doctor said that they performed C.P.R. on you for almost ten minutes and they stitched you up in the process so you wouldn't bleed to death also. Be glad that I know what your blood type is child, you didn't have much in you left before that blood-- Oh!", she huffed a little, "What was it called..? Uhm... Blood transfusion...? I think that's what he said it was called that they did... I'm a cop, not a doctor", she stuck her tounge out at me and I laughed a little and bit my lip. I mouthed, "Ow..." then I smiled again. I loved how simple minded Rose could be, she was truely something else and she always kept me entertained. I don't think she realized how intelegent I am yet... I don't think anyone but my teachers know... Oh well. I had bigger things to worry about.
I opened my mouth and tried to speak but only a faint squeek came out. I scruntched my face up once more and grunted a little, then tried once more. "Wait....", I sputtered out, "I-I almost died?", I shuddered a bit and then felt a sudden rush of anger run through my veins, "Rose... I could have had a way out....", I felt what should have been a yell coming out of my throat acctually be a wisper, "Everything that's happening to me could have stopped Rose...!", I started to cry quietly and I hid my face. She rested her hand on my shoulder and began to rub it, but I didn't want her in the same room with me... I was completely infurriated. Why didn't she let me fucking die?! I could have been free! I could have been fucking free! Rose spoke lightly, "Shhhh babe, you'll be okay. You're safe for now dearie-"
I cut her off in a shrill voice and I noticed my volume sounded almost to a normal speaking voice, "For now Rose... FOR NOW! What in the hell happens when I leave here huh?!", when I finished my statement, I knew I shouldn't have opened my mouth. I didn't care though, she was trying to avoid my reality.
She took her hand off my shoulder and her voice began to crack and shake, "I--I don't know...", she looked down and I sighed angerly. "Ofcourse not! No one does!" , my voice had crept back to a whisper, I must have lost my voice from all the screaming. We both admited defeat and ended out mild arguement there.
Rose sniffled then walked out of the room slowly, I knew that what I had said had hurt her, but this was my life.... I honestly didn't mean to hurt her, but I magically found a way to... She didn't understand though... Death was my one chance at freedom.