funny little oneshot, not as innocent as you think (:
“Come on sweetie, say dada.” Gerard asked sweetly as Bandit looked up at him with the same captivating eyes as she smiled but cooed instead. Gerard sighed, but didn’t up hope…yet. Already a year, he had been trying to get her say dada, but she had not spoken her first word yet. Lindsey had told him to have patience, their daughter a mirror image of Gerard’s stubbornness. Which meant, Gerard was determined to get their daughter to speak her first word one way or the other.
“Bandit, say dada. da-da.” he said slowly as she looked at him before going back to her toy, obviously it interested her more rather than her dad’s speaking lesson.
“Please say dada?” he begged as she just burped, followed by a soft giggle. He shook his head and patted her soft hair before he heard footsteps.
“Gerard are you pestering Bandit again? How many times do we have to go over this, she’s going to speak when she wants to.” Lindsey told him as Gerard rolled his eyes while mimicking her speech that she gave him almost everyday.
“Lindsey, she’s already a year. She should at least say mama or something.”
“Every baby is different Gerard, and you know she inherited your stubbornness, so you can blame yourself for that one.” she teased as he glared at her.
“Are we still taking her to Frank and Jamia’s?” he retorted as she nodded.
“Yeah, I just spoke to them. She said it’s cool. We won’t be too long anyways right?” she asked as he shrugged.
“Maybe, maybe not. After all, it is our first night out since Bandit was born.” he replied, wiggling his eyebrows as Lindsey smiled.
“Don’t push it Gerard.” she clarified as he sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Hey man, thanks again for watching her. Even though…well no offense, but you weren’t our first choice.” I explained as Frank tipped his head up.
“I am never, am I?” he asked thoughtfully as I smiled. I loved Frank, but to trust him with another human being, much less a baby was a stretch for me.
“Relax man, she’s in good hands. I’m not as bad you make me out to be, I do know something about kids!” he retorted as I rolled my eyes.
“Frank, remember last time when you watched your cousin? He ended up puking glitter for a week.” I pointed out.
“It’s not my fault he ate the glitter, I told him it was meant for decorating, I can’t be blamed for his misjudgment.” he clarified.
“You’re the one who gave him it in the first place!” I shouted as he scoffed and was going to say something else before Jamia walked in, followed by Lindsey.
“Hey what’s going on? I heard shouting.” Jamia asked as we both shrugged.
“Nothing.” we replied in unison as Lindsey raised her eyebrow.
“Uh huh, sure.” she said slowly as Jamia smiled.
“Are you sure you feel up to watching her?” she asked again as Jamia nodded.
“Of course. Now you two go have some fun.” she motioned for me and Lindsey to the door as Lindsey smiled.
“It’s kind of hard being away from her like this.” she frowned as she looked at me.
“I know love, but I think one night out won’t hurt us. She’s going to be fine.” I replied rubbing her shoulder as she kissed my cheek.
“You’re right.” she smiled as we waved to Frank and Jamia once more before giving Bandit a hug.
“Be good sweetie, we’ll be back soon.” Lindsey squeezed her before kissing her head as she just drooled and clapped her hands. I smiled at her before we said goodbye for the final time and made our way to the car. I looked back at the house and sighed.
I hoped my daughter didn’t come back puking glitter…
“Okay Bandit, open wide.” Frank smiled as he held a spoon of baby food in his hands as Bandit eagerly opened her mouth while Frank made an airplane noise.
“Ah good girl!” he praised her as she giggled. He fed her once more before looking at the jar and thinking. He smelled it before gagging.
“Ugh, that smells awful. How can they make you eat this? Well maybe it doesn’t taste as bad it smells…” he thought curiously as he dipped a finger in the jar and brought it to his lips and tasted it.
“Huh, it’s pretty good!” he smiled as Bandit looked at him as if she was saying ‘Uh, why are you eating MY food?’
“Oh right…sorry.” Frank replied before he continued feeding her. When he went to dip the spoon back in the jar, the spoon slipped from his hands as it fell to the floor, creating a splatter of applesauce on the floor.
“Shit!” he sighed as he stood up to clean the mess.
“Frank, don’t curse in front of her!” Jamia suddenly appeared.
“Damn Jamia, don’t do that!” he sighed as he placed a hand to his heart as she scoffed.
“Frank!” she shouted softly.
“Oh come on Jamia, it’s not like she can understand me.”
“Frank, she’s a year. Her brain is like a sponge, she could repeat it.”
“Hey that’d be awesome.” he smiled as she glared.
“Okay! God, sorry no need to wig out.” he said holding his hands out dramatically as Jamia shook her head. Sometimes she didn’t know who was the child here. Him or Bandit…
“Maybe I should check in.” Lindsey asked he rolled his eyes. They had already went the movies, and were currently eating dinner while Lindsey had asked the same question for the fifth time.
“Lindsey please, just relax. I’m sure she’s fine. We don’t want to pester them.” I said softly.
“I know Gee, but I’ve never been away from her this long, it doesn’t feel right.” she frowned as sighed and nodded. It did feel kind of weird being away from Bandit. I mean she’s just so cute, and sweet, and oh hell.
“Ah damn it, you’re right. I miss my baby!” I shouted as Lindsey looked at me funny before it was obvious we wanted Bandit back with us. I handed, more like threw a hundred dollar bill onto the table of the restaurant, as we made our way to the car and drove back to Frank’s house. It was a good 10 minutes before we arrived there and I ran to the door.
“Hey you guys are back early…I bet you couldn’t stand being away from Bandit huh?” Frank teased as I mumbled under my breath.
“Fine. I admit it.” I told him as smiled.
“Nothing wrong with that. She’s been an angel all night.” he replied as he picked her up and handed her to me as I smiled.
“Hey Lady B! Did you miss us?” I asked her as she smiled and clapped her hands. I kissed her cheek as she looked at Frankie then back at me.
“Shit!” she suddenly said as I looked at her shocked.
“Excuse me?!” I asked her as she smiled at me.
“Shit.” she repeated as Lindsey gasped while Frank busted out laughing.
“Gerard!” Lindsey shouted as I stood there speechless.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” she sang as she clapped her hands while I stood there frozen.
“Where did she hear that from?!” Lindsey gasped as I glared at Frank.
“Frank?” I growled as he stood there looking guilty.
“I umm…I’m sorry?”
“Sorry?! My daughter’s first word is a curse word!” I yelled before sighing and shaking my head as Bandit giggled at me.
“Well…at least she spoke.” I said softly as Lindsey smiled.
Never again will I let Frank baby sit…