I felt a wave of sadness hit me as soon as I was told I could leave. A few of the nurses from the mental hospital, Green Sea, came to collect me and they drove me back 'home'. I was never able to call it home though, despite it being exactly 5 years and one day since I had 'moved' there. And people were wondering why I tried to kill myself. Yes, it was a suicide attempt. I'd just become good at pretending I was self harming and that it went wrong. I couldn't cope with any more pills or help. It was too much as it was. I just wanted my dad out of jail. I wanted ot be back home with him, no matter what he did to me. Because I needed him. I walked through the doors of Green Sea to see a bunch of smiling familiar faces staring at me. And then one form sitting on the floor behind everyone else. I wasn't sure how I managed to pick him out of the other twenty or so people stood in front of him, but I did. It was like he was shining. He stood out.
'Brendon?' I asked, walking towards him, acidently moving my arms, which hurt like fuck.
'Ryan? You're really alive!' Brendon said, looking up at me, his cheeks tearstained.
'We told you he was okay, Brendon' Patrick whispered. Woah... wait... Patrick?!
'Patrick?' I asked, turning to face him.
'Brendon's been a wreck since he woke up. He had a nightmare and you died. I've been helping him with the others' Patrick whispered.
'Okay. But Brendon, I'm not dead' I whispered, kneeling down next to him.
'Good. Because I was so scared' Brendon whispered, throwing his arms around me and crying on my shoulder. I wanted to hug him back, but my arms were too painful to move, so I just sat there goofily as he hugged me.
I was honestly scared when I saw Brendon on the floor.
I spent a lot of time tha day thinking about how he must have felt.
It made me feel guity, a foreign emotion.
I knew I had feelings for him.