Jeph and I went into his room and were going to talk, but fell asleep instead. Morning came and it felt as though I had just fallen asleep. Jeph groaned and rolled over to face me.
‘Morning beautiful.’ He smiled as the sunlight filled the room through the window.
‘Morning.’ I smiled kissing him, ‘You’re really leaving today?’
‘I’m afraid so,’ He sat up and looked at me, ‘You’ll be fine.’
‘I guess so. I’m just going to miss you. Livvy and I can’t go with you?’ I asked him pouting.
‘No. Brian said no guests this time.’ He informed me.
‘This sucks.’ I mumbled. I didn’t want him to go, but it would be ok. I have Livvy.
‘I know, I wish you could come with too.’ He said and got out of bed. He walked around the bed to my side and pulled me up out of it and into his arms, ‘I love you.’
‘I love you.’ I smiled hugging him tightly, ‘I’m getting dressed and getting something to eat.’
‘Ok. What time is it?’ He asked me.
‘I think it’s noon.’ I told him, ‘Why?’
‘Noon! We were supposed to leave an hour ago!’ Jeph scrambled to get dressed and ran out of the room yelling down the hallway, ‘GET UP GET UP GET UP GET UP!!!’ After I was dressed, I went out into the living room and saw everyone standing there ready to go.
‘Leaving already?’ I asked them.
‘We have places to go and faces to rock off.’ Quinn said matter-of-factly.
‘Well, Bye then.’ I said to him and walked over to Jeph. I saw Livvy talking with Sonny. She’s probably saying bye… ‘I’ll miss you!’ I said to Jeph while giving him a big hug.
‘I’ll miss you too. Don’t forget about me now.’ He smirked at me.
‘How could I forget about you? I love you!’ I said.
‘I’m just saying. I love you too! I’ll see you soon, two weeks to be exact.’ He kissed me and was rushed outside by Travis. Soon enough, it was just Livvy and I once again. Just as before, it was off to the clubs and dancing all night. I’d say we had even more fun than we did last time the guys went on tour.
2 weeks later.
‘WE’RE HOME!’ I heard Bert yell. I walked out of Jeph’s room and went into the living room. I saw all the guys standing in the middle of the room waiting for their big welcome back. I smiled at everyone until my eyes fell on a new addition standing next to Jeph. I had a very bad feeling about this. I walked up to Jeph.
‘Hey.’ I said not smiling at him.
‘I’m sorry. I knew you loved Quinn and I knew I couldn’t satisfy you for much longer. I met Taylor last week.’ He indicated the girl standing next to her, ‘I hope this is ok. This way you can finally be happy, which is what I want.’
‘Jeph… I am and have been over Quinn. I love YOU! You are the one I want to make me happy. What the fuck?! This is not ok. I was happy with you. Fuck!’ I yelled.
‘I’m sorry. I thought this is what you wanted.’ He said and left the room. I began to break down and cry. I had really gotten over Quinn. I could have resisted him for the rest of the month. Eventually I sat on the floor and just cried there.
‘Hey…’ Quinn came over to me and sat down putting his arm around me, ‘It’ll be ok.’
‘No it won’t. I was over you. This fucking sucks. I hate this so much Quinn.’ I cried even harder. Jeph broke my heart this time…
‘I know. Do you want to go somewhere?’ He asked me while everyone else was unpacking.
‘Yeah… I can’t believe this happened.’ I sniffled.
‘Let’s go for a walk.’ He pulled me up and we walked outside just as it started raining. This brings back a certain memory. I wrapped my arm around him and started walking. He pulled me in front of him and began kissing me deeply. I was actually kissing him back. I never thought I would do that again. I thought I was over him completely.
‘Oh Quinn, it hurts so much.’ I cried while he held me.
‘I know, but maybe you and him weren’t meant to be.’ He said.
‘I don’t know, I just don’t know anymore.’ I sighed, ‘I need to talk to him.’
‘Go talk to him.’ He let go of me. I started walking away but turned around and hugged him. ‘What’s this for?’
‘I just wanted a hug from you.’ I said and went inside the house. All I could think about was when Quinn and I were laying on the grass. I went into the kitchen to find Jeph, but that other girl was there with him. Jeph was smiling and laughing with her, which made me feel even worse.
‘Jeph, can I talk to you?’ I asked him receiving a dirty look from Taylor.
‘Yeah, sure.’ Jeph looked up at me, and followed me into the bathroom. ‘What’s up?’ How could he be so casual about this?
‘Why are you doing this to me? I am your girlfriend! You betrayed me.’ I almost yelled.
‘I thought you were in love with Quinn. I didn’t want my heart broken again.’ He explained sitting down on the toilet seat.
‘I was in love with him, but I realized that I loved you more than him, and I was over him. You never gave me a chance to show you that. Now I’m the one with the broken heart…’ I mumbled hoping he didn’t hear the last part. Suddenly I heard ‘My Happy Ending’ play from the living room, then get louder and louder. I’ll thank Livvy for this later.
‘I’m sorry. I never wanted to break your heart.’ He told me.
‘Well, you did. Maybe I deserved this… This song really sums it all up.’ I said.
‘I just… didn’t think I ever made you happy.’ He confessed.
‘But, you did. Now, I’m not… I don’t know what to say to you now…’ I said as tears rolled down my cheeks.
‘You were honestly ready to spend the rest of your life with me?’ He asked.
‘I was. I guess I shouldn’t of been ready then…’
‘I don’t know what I was thinking. I finally got everything I wanted then I mess it up.’ He sighed.
‘…yeah…’ I sat on the bathroom floor and put my head on my knees and just sobbed.
‘Please don’t cry.’ He got up and knelt in front of me.
‘I can’t help it. My heart was broken…’ I said in-between sobs. The living room fell silent as ‘My Happy Ending’ stopped playing.
‘Thank GOD!’ Derek could be heard screaming.
‘I’m so sorry.’ I repeated. I thought I was doing the right thing. I never thought doing it would feel like this. Lilly was sitting in front of me crying because of me, and I didn’t know what to do.
‘Gosh this is the worst feeling I’ve ever had…’ She muttered.
‘I feel like an ass.’ I said.
‘Maybe you should just go. And take her with you. I can’t stand seeing her… knowing that you two probably did something…’ She whispered just loudly enough for me to hear.
‘I’m sorry, and I’ll see you later.’ I stood up and slowly started to leave the bathroom.
‘Does she make you happier than when you were with me?’ She asked me.
‘I’ve been with her for a week. I can’t answer that. I’ve loved you since I met you, and this whole time I’ve been chasing you, while you’ve been chasing Quinn.’
‘I didn’t think that really mattered anymore once we were finally together. I thought I made you happy enough… I trusted you and everything.. You’ve been with her for a WEEK?! What the hell Jeph! You only gave me a week and you decided you wanted someone else… You decided things before you found everything out.’ She pretty much yelled at me.
‘I’m so sorry.’ Things are ending up worse than I expected. I’ve ruined everything.
‘You keep saying that. I understand you are so sorry, but can you say something other than that. Please.’ She looked up at me.
‘I got tired of waiting for you. I figured you’d always love Quinn, because I figured he was the better man.’ I confessed.
‘Coming from the man who said he would never give up on me. And, he wasn’t the better man… he cheated on me so much…’ She sighed.
‘I messed up. I don’t know what to do.’ I said.
‘Well, I can’t help you.’ She said looking back down.
‘Umm…Should I leave?’ I asked her.
‘I think I’m going back to Cali when my brother goes… I can’t stay here anymore.’ She said.
‘If that’s what you want. I’ll miss you.’ I told her.
‘…right.’ She mumbled and walked out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
‘Who’s in there?! I need to piss!’ Travis yelled beating on the door. I opened the door slowly and walked out. I decided to go to my room, and when I walked in I saw Lilly throwing all her stuff that was scattered around my room in her bag. I noticed she ripped something down and crumpled it up. Before I could say anything she grabbed all her stuff and left the room, closing the door behind her. What did I do? I really messed up this time. I didn’t know how I was going to win her back, but it was going to happen. I sighed and looked around my room, noticing a note lying on my bed. I walked forward and picked it up and saw that it was Lilly’s handwriting.
I’ve been waiting for this day ever since you left. I wanted to have a big surprise ready for you, along with something sexy, but I thought this and the picture I drew would be enough. I know things have gone really bad for us in the past, with Quinn and all, but I love you, and I realize that you are the love of my life. I don’t know why I ever thought Quinn would be good for me, when clearly he isn’t and won’t be. You are the man who was meant for me. The one I’ve dreamed of since I was younger. You are my reason for living. You are my everything now, and I hope that I am yours too. I just wanted to tell you that I love you so much more than what I could ever put into words. I hope you love me just as much too.© I want to see you smile, kiss you, hold you, lay with you, and do everything that real couples do. I just want you, as selfish as it seems, I want you all to myself. I missed you so much. I love you tons. I hope we can be together forever.
She is the woman I’ve waited for so long, and I was stupid. I finally won her heart and decided that she should be with the man I’ve been trying to win her from, Quinn. Taylor is nothing compared to Lilly. I feel like such an idiot. I have to get her back, somehow.
Everyone was sitting in the living room talking except Lilly and Jeph. I didn’t know what I was going to do about my situation with Sonny and Bert. I love them both. I don’t want to make a mistake. Sonny has always treated me good, and Bert has cheated on me in the past. I don’t know if I can trust Bert. And when I think about marrying Sonny I get so excited and mushy inside. I just don’t know if he’s the one for me.
‘So I’m going to start on my second mitten guys.’ Travis informed us all.
‘You mean you actually finished that square you showed me?’ Quinn asked him.
‘As a matter of fact, I did.’ Travis replied proudly. He tried changing the channel to Martha but Branden stopped him.
‘We are having our Used time!’ He told him, ‘Do not interrupt.’
Travis slowly set the remote back down, and I drifted back off into my thoughts. Thinking finally got to me as a tear slid down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away. I got up and walked to my room, closing the door behind me and lying down on my bed. I heard someone knock on my door. I was sure it was Sonny, but it was Lilly.
‘Hey.’ She said as she walked in. I could have been naked when she walked in and she didn’t even care.
‘Hi.’ I muttered.
‘How are you? Did you talk to Sonny yet?’ She asked me.
‘I’m ok, and no I didn’t. I don’t know what to do.’ I said resting my head on my hand.
‘Well, I don’t know either. I wish I wouldn’t have written that letter…’ She sighed.
‘It’ll probably change his mind, and his whole point of view.’ I told her. I knew my brother.
‘I don’t know. Maybe I should just hang out with Quinn more and fall for him again…’ She said sitting on the floor by my bed.
‘Don’t make yourself fall for someone you don’t love. Give Jeph some time, he certainly gave you some.’ I reminded her.
‘I know. I’m just really hurt… that’s all.’ She told me, ‘Are you in love with Bert?’
‘I know you are, and he’s been hurt too. Umm, I’m not sure. Why?’ I responded.
‘Because, you and him seem like you would be a better couple than you and Sonny. That’s just my opinion.’ She said.
‘Well, umm wow. Ok. Who do you think I should talk to?’ I asked her.
‘Sonny, of course! He needs to know how you feel, and he will understand. He is a very understanding person for some reason.’ She replied.
‘I know, but I’ll feel so bad, because I do love him too.’ I sighed.
‘Go with your heart. That’s what’s best.’ She smiled.
‘And what is your heart telling you to do?’ I smirked, giving her her own advice.
‘I don’t know now… I do still want to be with Jeph.’ She said.
‘Then make it happen. He’s a good guy. He must just be a little confused.’ I said.
‘I know I know. He’s a great guy. He seemed pretty happy with Taylor though…’ She told me.
‘I don’t know about that. But what did he do when you talked with him?’ I asked her, almost knowing the answer.
‘Apologized over and over.’ She said just as my door opened.
‘Livvy have you seen… Lilly.’ Jeph stopped and looked at her, ‘Lilly…’ He walked into the room and sat on the floor somewhat close to Lilly.
‘Would you two like to be alone?’ I asked them, willing to leave my room for them.
‘Yeah…’ Jeph said.
‘You should go talk with Sonny anyway Livvy.’ Lilly told me.
‘Alright. Remember what I said Lilly.’ I advised her and left my room. I walked down the hall and heard the guys talking in the kitchen. I walked through the living room and into the kitchen to see them all sitting at the table. Sonny was the only member of From First To Last to come back, the rest stayed in Cali. Sonny was leaning against the counter in the kitchen.
‘Can I talk to you?’ I asked him looking at my feet.
‘Sure.’ He smiled.
‘Outside.’ I took him by the hand and we walked outside. When we got out there I turned around to face him.
‘I’ve been talking a lot with Bert,’ He said, ‘I don’t think we should get married.’
‘Why not?’ I was shocked.
‘I know how you feel about Bert, and he loves you. I just think it would be better for us. You know?’ He asked sympathetically.
‘Umm I guess.’ I didn’t realize how hard it would be for us to break up. I did not want to cry. I slid my ring off and held it out for him to take. ‘I suppose you want this.’
‘Sure… What did you want to talk about?’ He asked me taking the ring out of my hand and putting it in his pocket.
‘The…same thing,’ I sighed, ‘I hope you know I’ll be really jealous of the woman you end up with.’ I began to cry.
‘It’ll be ok. You don’t have to be jealous either, Bert will make you forget about me. Just go talk to him.’ He smiled wiping a tear from my cheek.
‘I guess, I just don’t know how I can trust him.’ I told him.
‘He and I talked about that. He will never cheat on you again. Just talk to him about that. I’m not the right person for you to talk about that with.’ He said.
‘Yeah, I’ll go.’ I pulled him into a hug.
‘Don’t worry, everything will be alright.’ He said and kissed me on the forehead.
‘I love you Sonny.’ I told him and turned around and walked inside. I closed the door behind me and walked back into the kitchen. ‘Bert. Come here.’
‘Alright.’ He said getting up and walking over to me.
I pulled him outside and to the end of the driveway and began walking down the street. ‘I talked to Sonny.’ I told him.
‘And, now you want to talk to me?’ He asked.
‘A little bit.’ I said.
‘What about love?’ He smiled.
‘Yes.’ I laughed showing him my hand and the fact that it no longer had a ring on it.
‘Does this mean? You love me?’ He asked suddenly getting extremely happy.
‘Yes it does.’ I confirmed.
‘Livvy.’ He jumped, picked me up, and started twirling me around, ‘I love you.’ He stopped and kissed me.
‘I love you too,’ I smiled, ‘Now what does this mean?’
‘That you should be mine, will you?’ He asked me.
‘Yes.’ I hugged him.
‘I’ll take care of you, I promise you that I will never hurt you, not ever again.’ He said hugging me tightly, ‘I don’t want to lose you, and if I ever do hurt you again, I will leave The Used.’
‘Oh my god. You wouldn’t. I mean, I’m not that big of a deal, The Used is huge.’ I rambled.
‘But, you mean that much to me. You are a big deal to me. And, the guys would understand.’ He reassured me, ‘Don’t worry though, I don’t plan on hurting you ever again. I love you.’
‘I love you too.’ I told him, still shocked at what he just promised me. ‘Where are we going?’
‘I don’t know, you brought me out here.’ He giggled.
‘You just sounded like a girl Bert.’ I laughed.
‘It was for you baby.’ He joked and kissed me again, ‘Let’s go back to the house.’
‘Ok. And just so you know, I’m not a lesbian.’ I informed him with a smile on my face as we turned around.
‘Well then, I don’t know how this is ever going to work,’ He began twirling his hair, while speaking in his best girly voice, ‘I mean, I just became a lesbian, and look at these boobs.’
‘What boobs?’ I asked him as the house came into view.
‘These.’ He smiled and grabbed mine.
‘You pervert!’ I screamed shoving him away then bursting into laughter.
‘There is more where that came from.’ He warned me as we walked up to the house.
‘I’m afraid I already know that.’ I sighed as we walked inside only to hear Martha Stewart’s voice coming from the TV.
‘Oh my god, shut that shit off!’ Bert exclaimed as we walked into the living room. It was quite annoying anyway.
‘Make me.’ Travis said sticking his tongue out at Bert.
‘You want to play that way.’ Bert smiled and ran toward Travis, which caused Travis to scream like a girl and start running around in a circle. At that moment, Bert switched the channel.
‘Bitch.’ Travis gasped and slumped in a chair.
‘Oh you’ll be ok Travis.’ I reassured him.
‘NO I WON’T!’ He yelled and ran out of the house.
‘Glad he’s gone.’ Branden sighed, obviously relieved. Poor Travis. ‘Can we watch Maury?’
‘No. We are NOT watching Maury in my house.’ I said in a tone of finality.
‘Fine…’ Branden sighed.
‘So…’ I turned to face Bert.
‘Let’s have a bathroom party.’ He told me.
‘You just want me for sex don’t you?’ I asked him laughing.
‘Oh, yeah baby, you know it.’ He laughed sticking his hand down his pants.
‘Hey, that’s my job.’ I reminded him, pulling his hand out of his pants.
‘Ohh, bathroom party then?’ He smirked.
‘I missed you.’ I told him while pulling him to the bathroom.
‘I’ve missed you more than you know.’ He smiled at me as we entered the bathroom and closed the door behind ourselves.
‘I’m sure you have.’ I kissed him and pulled off his shirt.