This particular comment was mumbled by a very sleepy Patrick, as he, Josh, Tina and Robin made their way onto the plane that they were taking to Orlando, for the taping that
the guys were scheduled to wrestle at.
First, they’d had to be in the precinct by 7 am to meet with Captain Jensen—Adam Jensen, not Jensen Ackles, as Tina had been quick to point out—to be briefed on what the story was going to be when Patrick and Josh were asked about who the women were and why they were traveling with them. After that, they’d had to head straight to the airport, rush through security and board the flight.
Normally this wouldn’t be so bad, but after the large disturbance in the wee hours of the morning, added in with the fact that they’d had no time to get coffee, meant that at least half the group were still half asleep.
Josh rolled his eyes as he watched Patrick collapse into a window seat and commence snoring. Tina sighed, taking the seat next to him.
“At least he’s fully clothed and not clinging to me in his sleep, this time,” she stated, shrugging.
Josh nodded, shrugging his shoulders as well, before turning to the redhead stumbling along behind him.
“After you,” he smirked.
“I’m the guard, you’re the victim, and I’m the one with the weapon, so…ah, fuck it, I’ll go. It’s too early to be up without the aid of coffee, so wake me when we land. I’m sure Teej can handle whatever probably won’t happen.”
Josh turned to raise an eyebrow at Tina, after Robin had collapsed into a window seat, staying conscious long enough to stow her carry on and fasten her seatbelt before dropping off.
“Did she just give up without a fight?”
Tina glanced up at the blonde man with an evil smirk.
“Don’t go getting used to it, she’s not a morning person. When she’s more coherent, you’ll see she’s just as feisty as ever.”
“That’s good, because that was kind of scary and confusing.”
“I got news for you, buddy, she’s ALWAYS scary and confusing—except, after awhile, it becomes more like crazy and spontaneous. You’ll get used to it,” Tina grinned.
“I dunno. I kinda like being around someone more unpredictable than sleeping beauty over there.”
Tina had opened her mouth to speak, but was prevented from doing so when the captain’s voice came over the AP, announcing that all passengers needed to fasten their seatbelts and turn off their electronics in preparation for takeoff. Glancing over, she saw that Patrick was still soundly sleeping, so she stood and went to buckle his belt for him. Unfortunately, just as she was snapping the belt into place, the plane began to taxi onto the runway, causing her to lurch forward and land on top of him.
“Well, this is certainly a nice wakeup call. Can’t say I’d mind waking up to a beautiful woman on top of me every morning.”
Rather than answer, Tina did her best rutabaga impression, turning a pretty shade of plum purple in the face as she dismounted from Patrick’s lap, and dropped back down into her own seat. As soon as he was sure she wasn’t looking, Patrick leaned around her to smirk at Josh.
“She totally wants me,” he mouthed.
Instead of replying, Josh merely rolled his eyes and mimicked the action of crashing and burning. With a disgruntled sigh, Robin sat up and gave Patrick her most fearsome glare.
“Newsflash, asshole. My friend doesn’t go for horny hounds. If you’re seriously going to make a play for her, try turning up the romance. Rent Titanic, kick Josh and I out for the night, and just cuddle. And for the love of fuck, cut it out with the pickup lines!”
Josh shrugged, smirking at the look of completely shock on Patrick’s face.
“Sorry bro, but she speaks the truth. Tina looked like she was ready to choke the life out of you the last time you used one of those lame come ons.”
Patrick growled quietly in frustration as he leaned his seat back, attempting to get comfortable again.
“I’m never going to get any action, am I?”
“So, that was Universal Studios theme park, and this is the backstage area of the IMPACT! zone,” Patrick explained, as he, Josh, Tina and Robin entered the building.
“Down that hallway you will find the locker rooms, and the offices of TNA management, and up that tiny set of stairs is where we go down to the ring to make the magic happen,” Josh added.
“So, I guess we get to hang out in the locker room and watch you during your match?”
Tina had her fingers laced with Patrick’s, and was batting her eyes flirtatiously as she said this, falling fully into the role that she was supposed to be playing while in the public eye.
“Yeah, she’s got a point, maybe you should give us the VIP tour of the locker room area…”
Robin had followed suit, falling into character perfectly—she’d taken both of Josh’s hands and was backing down the hallway slowly, tugging him along gently as she did so. It was here that the first problem of the evening started. A short brunette woman with a huge chest attempted to jog out of her room just as Robin was about to pass it. The force knocked Robin forward into Josh, and caused her to fall to the ground.
“Watch where the hell you’re going, firecrotch!” she snapped, quickly getting to her feet and dusting off her tights.
“Why don’t you watch where you’re going, oh queen of the silicone valley?” the redhead retorted, glaring.
“Excuse you? Josh, who the hell is this tramp?!”
“It’s funny that you asked, Traci. This is my girlfriend, Robin Leigh. Robin, this is my ex, Traci Brookshaw.”
“Nice to know. Just keep in mind, busty, you’re the past, I’m the future. Keep your distance.”
And with that, the two continued down the hall, leaving Traci to glare in their general direction, muttering curses under her breath.
“Nice job with the jealous girlfriend act. Keep that up and I might start to believe it,” Josh murmured as they finally got out of sight and she dropped his hands.
“Who said I was acting?”
Back down the hall, Patrick and Tina were still playing their roles perfectly, much to the chagrin of a pretty blonde who’d just walked in.
“Hey, Patrick? Can I get you to help me with one of my bags? It’s really heavy, and I sprained my wrist during training earlier in the week.”
Without looking away from the brunette, Patrick gave Lacey Von Erich the brush off.
“Sorry, I’m busy. I’m trying to place where I’ve seen the color of her eyes before…blizzard blue?”
Tina’s fingers tightened around his hand until the point of being painful.
“My eyes are brown, baby!” she laughed.
Lacey was undeterred, and continued trying to lure the younger of the two Motor City Machine Guns away from his guard.
“But Patrick, my arm really hurts, it will just take a second, I promise!”
Rather than do it himself, Patrick glanced over Tina’s shoulder, catching the eye of Awesome Kong.
“Hey, would you mind helping Lacey with her bag?”
“Not at all!”
Lacey deflated, looking like she was angry enough to spit nails at Tina, as Kong snatched up the bag and took off down the hall. As soon as they were out of sight, Patrick wrenched his hand away from Tina’s, shaking it to try to make the pain stop.
“Jeez woman, what the hell was THAT for?!”
“My eyes are not blue! They are brown! And if you’d been staring at them instead of my breasts, you’d know that! You’re lucky I didn’t slap you silly!”
“I can’t help it! You have large boobs, my eyes go to the largest thing in front of me!”
“Guess that means you roll your eyes into the back of your head when you attempt to look in the mirror, huh?” Tina retorted.
“I’d say your eyes go to the biggest thing in front of you as well—is that why you keep looking down whenever I’m in front of you?”
Tina would’ve responded, had Dixie Carter not walked by them at that very moment, pausing to speak to Patrick.
“Don’t forget, both you and Josh have a meet and greet to be at in a half hour. Ms. Jameson, I assume you and your partner will be close, but not visible?”
Tina flashed her best smile at the TNA President. As soon as the woman had disappeared towards the direction of the management offices, Tina let it drop.
“That’s our cue to retrieve our friends. Lead the way.”
“You know, Teej, the last time either of us was in this position, I got shot,” Robin stated.
She and Tina had both opted to act as security guards during the signing, complete with uniforms and the standard t-batons and stun guns.
“Considering I was out for a good six months and still have trouble with my right shoulder when the weather changes, yes.”
Robin turned her attention back to the table where Patrick and Josh were stationed, resisting the urge to growl and defend her territory when a girl who had to be no older than 15 began to put the moves on Josh.
Tina chuckled under her breath about this until she saw the girl’s mother start hitting on Patrick.
“Not so funny now, is it, Teej? And here I was thinking you were doing a fantastic job of resisting his charms!”
“Shut up, Red.”
“Aw, come on, it’s not my fault that you’ve been possessed by the little green-eyed monster.”
“The little green-eyed monster got to you first!”
“I hate to break it to you, but I AM the green-eyed monster. This is normal for me, but just plain out of character for you.”
“I am not jealous.”
“You are so. You loooove him, you wanna kiiiiiiiss him, you wanna huuuuuuuuuuuuug him!”
The two were so busy joking around and keeping an eye on the fans that were asking to pose for photos that they didn’t notice the tiny Italian woman steadily cutting through the line, until she was at the table and reaching into her jacket. As soon as the handle of the gun appeared, Tina tackled Patrick to the floor. Robin was a second slower, but managed to dive in front of Josh just as the shot was fired.
“Robin, are you okay?!”
“I NEED A BUS IN THE LOBBY OF THE UNIVERSAL STUDIOS BUILDING, NOW!”
Patrick and Josh both sat up just in time to see Robin lying in the floor, her right hand trying to stem the bleeding in her left shoulder.