Everyone's doing someone...
"What the fuck Quinn? Stop that shit, I'm supposed to be the one with the crazy high sex drive!" Bert sulks. Quinn ignored him and cheerfully continued attempting to rape Dan, who looked as if he would rather enjoy being raped by Quinn.
Bert threw a can of coke at them. "Fuck you. I'm horny too." Quinn looked Bert up and down carefully. Dan interjected, 'We're not gonna ask you to join us, if that's what you're waiting for." Bert looked mildly disappointed. "Fine then."
He continued to sulk. All of a sudden, Bert perked right up. "Wait a sec-Quinn. Dan. DAN. Get off him for a second, I'm tryna-Oh, for fuck's sake." Bert lost any resemblance to paitence he had and went over and tossed Dan off Quinn and sat on the drummer. "As I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself, My Chem are on this tour too, right?" Bert said excitedly.
Dan shook his head and said; "Yessss Bert, remember?" He rolled his eyes. He loved Bert, really but he could be dense sometimes.
"So." Bert announced happily. "That means Gerard is here."
"Yes, it does." Quinn agreed, shaking his head at Bert and sneaking his hand under Bert's thighs carefully. "So that means sex for me. YAY!" Bert cheered.
"Unless Frank is there." Quinn offered. Bert turned to scowl at him, and Quinn stole the opportunity to tip him out of Dan's lap to the ground.
The look of surprise on Bert's face quickly turned to disgust when he realised he landed on a condom wrapper. He picked it up, because that is what Bert does. "Ew." He christianed it.
"This is yours. Yours." He shouted, shaking his fist at Quinn and Dan energetically. Quinn bent to read it. "Nope. That's not flavoured. Not ours." He announced, leaning back into the couch. Bert looked disgusted. "Then who's is it?" He demanded.
"Jeph and Frank's?" Dan offered. Quinn and Bert turned to stare at him. "Frank?" Bert questioned."Frank Iero?"
Dan nodded and then laughed, "Oh right, I forgot to tell you."
Bert clapped his hands together happily and dashed out of the van.
"No! I like it!" Bob exclaimed, wrestling with his bandmate for the playstation controller. "It's a Barbie wedding planner game, Bob!"
Ray blew a wave of his 'fro out of his eyes and stood with his hands on his hips. It made him look rather gay. Bob felt obliged to inform him of this. "You look gay like that."
"It didn't seem to bother you last night when we-" Ray shut up immediately when he copped Bert.
Bert leaned against the wall, casually. "Oh, no please, finish that." He said hopefully.
"I presume you're looking for Gerard?" Bob said primly. He still didn't like Bert since that night when he sneaked onto their tour bus and shaved Bob's eyebrow off when he slept.
Bert nodded. "In the room." Ray gruffed, nodding at the bunkroom.
"Excellent." Bert said cheerily and made his way through the coffee cups and moldy pizza boxes to him.
"GEE!" Bert yelled. Gerard jerked off the bed in shock as Bert screamed into his ear.
"Bert!" Gerard flushed and dragged his blankets over his unzipped jeans and exposed dick quickly. Bert perched happily on the bed. "Get out!" Gerard winced.
"Why?" Bert asked innocently. Gerard flinched. "Becasue I'm busy." He hissed, attempting to cross his legs and failing horribly. "I can see that." Bert smiled sweetly. The blood rushing to his crotch was kind of making Gerard's erection ache. "Oh, by the way," Bert began, pulling the thin blanket from Gerard's fingers and tossing it away. "Did you know Frankie was dating Jeph?" Bert asked Gerard, running his warm fingers around Gerard's slim hips. "Mmm, yeah, he told me." Gerard sighed, bucking his hips slightly. Bert frowned and wrapped his long, slim fingers around the throbbing base of Gerard's heated dick. He moaned as Bert thoughtfully stroked the full length, hard. "So I'm literally, the last to know?" He frowned, tightening his grip and speeding up his movements. Gerard moaned and twisting on the narrow bed, fisting his hands in the sheets.
"That sucks. Nobody tells me nuthin' no mo'" Bert complained, putting on an accent.
"Oh, God." Gerard tensed. "I know. I don't know why. I'm trustworthy!" Bert mused, joining a second hand and wrapping them around Gerard's length and jerking roughly, which cause a rather interesting, satisfied cry to fall from Gerard's throat. "Oh, Bert...fuck..." Gerard chanted incoherently. "Oh." Gerard cried, moving a sweating hand to Bert's shoulder.
"I know. " Bert said nonchalantly. "Who owns you?" He questioned.
"No, Gee, who owns you?" Bert sped up his movement.
"Oh, fuck...God, you. Shit, Bert you do." Gerard moaned, releasing onto Bert's hands.
"Good boy." Bert said, casually licking his fingers.