I don't even know what I'm feeling like right now. It's not numbness. It's not what I've felt before. But it's pain, somewhere. That I can physically feel too. It's just pain.
I told my friend everything. On Halloween night. About my self-harm to my boy-girlness.
And I've never regretted something so much.
I havent' cut in a very long while either. But I need to. No one can seem to understand cutting is what keeps me safe. It's my shell. It gives me comfort. But my friend begged me not to. And she's been the only friend to ever grasp what it really is, and to take it seriously.
I'm not sure what's going on right now. I'm so confused.
I also feel incredibly nervous and sick for no reason.
But I'm still smoke free.