Every inch closer to the ICU was my making my heartbeat even faster. I was trying to clam myself down but nothing was working. I just wanted to see him I needed to see him. We reach the ICU this was the worst place anyone could be at, if you were here your chances of making it slim. I couldn’t think like that now I had to be strong, somehow.
“Before everyone goes in there, I must warn you. We had to shave a lot of his hair off, he has a white bandage around his head, and tubes everywhere, “Doctor said.
At this point I didn’t care all I wanted was to see him, I could careless if he didn’t have hair or not.
“Alex you go in first and see him, “Ryan said.
“No you guys come too, “I replied while looking at them.
“You go first; we all know you want to be with him more. We’ll let you have alone time, “Zack said.
Like I said before if it wasn’t for them I would done had a break down already. I nodded before walking into the room. He was laying on the bed as if he was sleeping; he had tubes going into his mouth and other places. His skin was paler then normal he did not look the same. My heart was breaking into pieces I could not stand to see him like this. I went over to his bedside and grab his hand.
“I’m here; I’m never going to leave your side. You’re going to live, you can’t live me, “I said while trying to hold the tears in.
I just wanted him to open his eyes just so he would know I was here, but I think he does know. I wouldn’t leave his side at all if I could.
“When you finally get out of here, I promise you we’re going to live life to the fullest like we should have been. I can’t live without you; I can’t even see my life without you. You have to fight this you can’t let this win, “I said while still holding on to his hand.
I was trying to keep the tears from falling but I couldn’t hold them no longer. Being strong was hard I knew I couldn’t be strong there was no way, but I had too for Jack. If I could be strong then I knew he would be strong and fight this.
“I love you Jack more then you will ever know, “I said.
I stayed a little bit longer before telling the guys they could come in. Zack and Ryan all broke down before I knew it I broke down also. This was the hardest thing ever I felt like part me was already dead, knowing he may not make it through the night was killing me.
“I can’t believe this is real, why does it have to be Jack, “I said while letting the tears fall.
“I don’t know, why does it have to be anyone. Life just isn’t fucking fair, “Zack said in angry while crying also.
The doctor came in telling us it was our time to leave, that if he was still alive tomorrow they would be moving him into his own room. All the guys left I stayed behind I couldn’t leave just yet.
“I have to go now, please don’t die. I love you, “I whisper. I finally made my way out of the room, this could be the last time I see him. My heart was breaking with every step I was taking while leaving his room. It seems like only yesterday we were playing in front of our fans having the time of our life and then just like that everything was taken away from us. I knew something was wrong from the moment Jack got sick, the way he was acting. Jack was never the one who would lay in bed because his sick that’s not him, but this time I should have known. Maybe this was kind of my fault I didn’t push him enough to go to the doctor like I should have.
I should have made him go when he wasn’t better that first week, but I let it go because he kept saying he was alright even though I knew he was lying. If he doesn’t make it through the night I will never be able to forgive myself.
Again I'm sorry its taking me forever to update, I feel bad about it. Will try my hardest to update more often. Thanks for the reviews,it really does mean alot.