Promotional waffles, illicit activities, and sugar comas.
Gerard Way is my boyfriend.
That was the first thought I had as I opened my eyes and saw the sun spilling through a crack in the curtains. I realized I’d been smiling in my sleep. I said it in my head just one more time; I loved how the words fit together, the echoes they left.
He’s my boyfriend.
And then I rolled out of bed and into the day. As I staggered downstairs, I caught the unmistakable smell of waffles. My mom was in the kitchen, humming happily along to a hard-rock radio station as she poured the coffee and set a big plate full of steaming, golden-brown waffles in front of me. I looked up at her.
“What’s the occasion?”
“I got promoted,” she said, with a great big smile. Sometimes it’s scary how alike we look. “I do all the political cartoons; I’m part of the design team. And my boss gave me a raise for all the overtime I’ve been putting in. We’re going to have a car, Frankie, and money for clothes and cds and a new guitar for you!” she laughed. “It’s been a good morning.”
“That’s great, mom. Maybe now you won’t have to worry so much.”
“Maybe. Now eat your waffles.”
I only managed a few bites before I pushed the plate away. Every few seconds his name would flash through my head like fireworks, accompanied by a great big wave of nauseous excitement. It felt like I spent all my time away from him waiting until we could be together again—when I looked at him, nothing else mattered, and I could forget the rest of the world even existed. I took a long, slow sip of my coffee, wrapping my hands around the mug to warm them.
You’ve got it bad, kid, I thought to myself. Don’t expect too much out of this, or you’ll just get disappointed again. Just because he seems completely perfect, and beautiful and charming and smart, it doesn’t mean it’s going to last.
I decided I’d just enjoy it and soak it all up until there was nothing more, and not think too hard. My mom looked up from the morning paper, a frown tugging at the corners of her blue eyes.
“Frankie? Are you all right?”
I sighed. “I’m fine.”
“Honey, please eat something. You’re worrying me.”
“I’m not hungry,” I said, truthfully. “I’ll eat during lunch.”
“There’s someone you like at school, isn’t there?” she asked. I jumped slightly. But my mom had always known when I was interested in someone; I guess it’s just a mom thing.
“Yeah. There is.”
She smiled. “Well, I’m sure that whoever it is, they’d want you to take care of yourself and be healthy and strong.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” I muttered under my breath. But I pulled the plate back over and finished my waffles as my mom packed both our lunches and left the brown paper bag next to my backpack.
When I got to school a few minutes early, I looked for the Ways as I walked towards the entrance. Gerard was leaning against the ivy-covered brick wall of the main building. He scanned the crowd that was streaming through the doors, shielding his eyes with the hand that wasn’t balancing a lit cigarette and wincing at the too-bright sunlight. His hazel eyes locked onto mine from across the parking lot. He smiled his lazy, sexy smile. I felt my heart flutter spastically.
“’Morning, baby,” he said softly as he kissed me. “Mmm, you taste like coffee.”
“That’s me, Frank ‘50% coffee, 10% water’ Iero.”
He looked at me for a second. “There was a dorky science fact hidden in there, wasn’t there?”
He laughed and I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back and feeling his tongue slide over my lower lip. His hair was all windblown; I just wanted to run my hands through it and watch the strands get tangled around my fingers. I heard him groan quietly.
“I know, I wish we weren’t here right now.” That was a lie. All the outside noise had drained away and I was blissfully happy to just feel his hands on me again. He glanced down at me with an evil grin.
“I’d grab your ass,” he said, “but people might stare.”
The bell rang. He squeezed me closer, his free hand still gripping my hip, and offered me the last of his cigarette. I took a long drag and felt the smoke settling in my lungs before I let out a sigh and separated from him. He shook his head, his smile widening.
“Frankie, I can’t go to class now. I’m just gonna get in trouble for drawing pictures of you in my notebook instead of taking notes.”
“Skip first period with me, then.” I beckoned to him. “King Lear puts me to sleep better than pills ever could. I don’t think I can face another mind-blowingly stupid group discussion.”
“Done.” He smirked, following me around the corner, where no teachers would see us. In the shade, black sunspots bloomed in my field of vision. The wind ruffled his soft black hair as he stopped and turned to look at me. “You sure catch on quick, Frankie boy. I like that.”
I grinned at him. “Exactly how much do you like it?”
He ground his cigarette into the asphalt with his heel and grabbed my face in his hands, kissing me passionately. I felt my knees go weak as his warm lips closed around mine. My hands slid desperately over the waistband of his jeans. He tipped my head back, deepening the kiss. He let out a low, raw moan as my tongue found its way into his mouth. The noise alone got me rock hard. He spared one hand to grab my leg and tug it over his hip, and I leaned closer so his thigh was between my legs, grinding against my crotch with every movement. I needed him like water in a desert; every heated, searching kiss was an immense relief. I gasped out his name, not even caring that my voice cracked embarrassingly; the way he responded was reward enough, shoving his tongue into my mouth and sticking the fingers of his free hand down my jeans.
I broke away from him and stared down at his wrist. He grinned. I knew he could feel my raging hard-on.
“You okay?” I tried to ignore how husky his voice was.
I closed my eyes and nodded, sensing he needed reassurance. “I’m all right, Gee.”
“You’re gonna be better than all right by the time I’m done with you,” he growled. I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach. On impulse, I kissed his neck. He shuddered and held perfectly still for a second. I felt his heartbeat skyrocket. “Again, Frankie,” he whispered.
I covered his neck with kisses, laughing as he swore and moaned at how good it felt. But my laugh stopped short when he undid the button on my jeans and pushed my pants and boxers down around my hips.
“God,” he whispered as his hand closed around my erection. “Frankie, you’re huge.”
He began to pump up and down my length. My muscles felt like they were on fire. I was gasping for air as his hand began to move faster and faster; when he ran his thumb over my head, my eyes rolled all the way back. I kept trying to think of horrific plane crashes, and my aunt Linda’s cats, anything to keep me from exploding all over us both. But I felt the telltale rush low down in my stomach.
“Ohh god...Gee, I-” I came, biting my lip to hold back the moans. My ears were ringing. I could feel waves of pleasure rolling through me, over and over. He laughed and zipped up my pants. I gave him a kiss.
We lay down together on the grass; he rolled onto his side and pulled me in close, twining our legs together.
“Was I all right?” he asked.
“Amazing. You should definitely consider prostitution as a career option.”
He threw back his head and laughed. In the sunlight, his eyes were a beautiful green color. “Pillow talk with you is even better than I expected.”
“I almost died and went to heaven,” I told him. “Gerard Way, you’re a sex god, and I want you every minute of every day. Is that better?”
I leaned forward and kissed his perfect pink lips. My heart was still beating like crazy, and I was blissfully happy. We lay there for a while, laughing and finding shapes in the clouds. Just being near him, the way his body fit against mine, comforted me. He seemed so peaceful, twisting my hair around his fingers and listening to me with wide, attentive eyes. I realized there was always a shadow over his face, whenever we were at school. Just like with Mikey. At school he was harder, more guarded, like he was ready to fight at any second. But it was gone now–he was just himself, just Gee flicking bits of grass at me, stretched out, at ease. My hand was on his hip and his arm was curled around my shoulders.
“The other kids don’t bother you,” I mused, hoping I’d get a real answer from him this time. “Not even the bigger ones, the ones that could really hurt you. Why?”
He bit his lip for a second, his eyes boring into mine, slightly narrowed. “Unpredictability. Nobody knows what I’m gonna do five seconds from now. Hell, not even me. In ten minutes I could be in math class, I could be jumping the perimeter fence and running through the parking lot, I could have a knife in my hand. I don’t know, and neither do they. I’m capable of anything. And I’m definitely crazy enough to do the first thing that pops into my head. That’s the only reason they stay away from me. Otherwise, I’m just a freak like everybody else.”
“But people respect you,” I protested, blushing. I knew, from the whispers in the hallway and the sidelong looks, that I wasn’t the only one in awe of him. “They look up to you.”
“There’s a difference,” he said, “between respect and fear. If people respected me, I’d never need to carry a weapon or defend myself. But they don’t, so I do. And I use it, and that makes them afraid of me. It’s all a vicious cycle. The more afraid people get, the more distance there is between us. And of course I wish things were different. But it’s difficult to make friends when you can see the horror in their eyes every time they look at you, y’know?”
I sighed. I wished I was imposing enough that nobody would mess with me. “You’re very friendly, though, Gee.”
“Am I?” he grinned. “I guess so. To you, at least. But I know you, Frankie baby. I know what you’re about, as much as we can ever really know what people are about. There’s so much about you that I can’t see—”
“But you know. You know it all.” As I said it, I knew it was true. It had just happened somehow, without us ever really talking about it.
“And you know me.” He leaned back, closing his eyes. “What am I, Frank? Tell me if you know, ‘cause I’m not sure I do anymore.”
“You’re a protector, Gee. That’s what you do. You protect me, protect Mikey, and Bob and Ray and the rest. You keep us all safe and show the bad guys that we won’t give up without a fight, and that we’re not helpless or weak. But you’re a human being, too. You’re more than the kids at school see of you. The Gee that loves to draw, and to look at the world and talk about why things are the way they are, the one who sings alone in his room late at night—that’s the real you. But you don’t show him to anyone.”
“That’s the real me, Frankie,” he agreed solemnly. “That’s all that I have left, and that’s the part of me that I have to keep safe. Because I can’t take another day of living in a world where people laugh at the bands I like and tell me art has no value. I would die. I’m sure of it. I would fade away and die.”
I touched his cheek. He opened his eyes and looked at me. “You don’t have to do it alone, you know,” I murmured. “Whatever you’re carrying, I’ll carry it too. And together we’ll get through this, and we’ll keep those parts of our identities safe. They’ll be a secret, all right? But you have to share who you really are. It’s too much to keep hidden. You promise?”
His mouth softened, and he nodded before rolling onto his back and gazing up at the clouds. “I promise. And as for the rest of the world—I don’t know about you, Frankie, but I plan on going down swinging.”
It was lunchtime. Bob had spent an otherwise unproductive morning sweet-talking one of the administrators into giving him the keys to all the vending machines. He’d managed to convince Gerard that we should have an all-out candy eating contest, and the two of them had disappeared off into the school to look for trouble. Gee had left me behind with a rueful grin, planting a kiss on my forehead.
“Frankie, you have no track record. You’re our secret weapon, in case we get caught doing something really bad; nobody would suspect someone as cute as you. I promise, I’ll bring you your fair share of the loot.”
“This is what I get for hanging out with delinquents,” I’d grumbled. Eventually I’d wandered back to class for want of something better to do. I sat there, bored out of my skull, until Gerard sprinted past the window, grinning like a maniac, his arms full of Skittles. One staged panic attack later, I was free and watching Bob cartwheel across the quad on an intense sugar rush.
We were all draped over each other in the shade of the gnarled old oak tree in a tangle of limbs. Our lunches were long forgotten; Mikey was tossing Jolly Ranchers and Ray was catching them in his mouth. Gerard’s crotch was right next to my head. I was sure he’d fallen that way on purpose. He glanced down at me, a great big smirk on his face. I popped my giant bubblegum bubble and blew hot air against the fabric of his jeans, grinning as he almost choked.
“Is this an orgy?” Mikey asked, the words gushing out much too fast. He was somewhere to my right and his hands were shaking from all the candy. Seriously, we were packing it away, but we hadn’t even made a dent in the pile. Bright wrappers were scattered all over the grass.
“Nah,” Ray said, “everybody’s shoes are still on.”
We all gave him weird looks.
“When a group of people lie on top of each other and take their shoes off, it’s officially considered an orgy. What, you guys really didn’t know?” He rolled his eyes and sighed. “Bunch of amateurs.”
“Keep eating,” Bob said. “No matter how much it hurts.”
I unwrapped a lollipop and stuck it in Gerard’s mouth, bursting into laughter as he licked it seductively, batting his long eyelashes. Someone’s elbow was digging into my ribs. I shifted, but it only brought me closer to my black-haired boyfriend, who was practically straddling my shoulders.
“How did we get into this mess, anyway?” I sighed, scanning the ground until I found a bag of gummy bears.
“It was your fault, Gee.” It seemed like Bob was talking from a million miles away, somewhere on the other side of the pile of bodies. “Twister and the contents of multiple vending machines don’t mix well.”
“How was I supposed to know?” he pointed out. “I’m not an orgy fanatic like Toro here.” He grabbed one of Ray’s legs and held it up triumphantly, almost putting my eye out. I pelted him with gummy bears.
“Ouch! Fuck you, Frankie!” he yelped.
“Seriously, I think a couple went down my shirt.”
“I am not an orgy fanatic.” Ray sounded offended.
“Okay,” Bob groaned. “It’s time to get up, we have class soon.”
“It started already,” Mikey said.
“Your watch broke last week, Mikes. Are you feeling psychic or something?”
“There’s no one dragging us off each other and calling us perverts. That’s how I know.”
Gee grinned wickedly. “What’s the use of having friends you can’t cuddle with?” But he managed to get up and held out his hands to me and Mikey. A few minutes later, we were all up and standing there in the grass. I couldn’t stop twitching. Ray’s hair seemed even perkier than usual, Gerard was biting his own hand so he wouldn’t laugh, and Bob and Mikey were crazy hyper, giggling a mile a minute and chasing each other.
“Whoa!” Mikey screamed. “Feel my heart, Frankie!” He took my hand and pressed it to his chest. I could feel his heart hammering through his t-shirt faster than hummingbird wings.
“Oh jeez. Don’t faint on me, okay?”
“Sugar coma,” Bob panted, trying in vain to catch his breath. The thought made him laugh. “Ray, fill your pockets with Twizzlers and let’s go run by the classrooms and throw them through the windows. We'll be heroes to all those poor fucks who still go to class.”
The two of them set off on their errand. Mikey flopped down on the ground and took a break, leaving me alone with a very smiley Gerard. Beaming from ear to ear, he walked over to me. His pupils were the size of dimes.
“I’m sorry I left you behind. From now on, we’re Bonnie and Clyde. Partners in crime. We can get matching tattoos.” He smiled with perfect white teeth.
“I’d like that,” I managed. I was full of sugar and everything felt wonderful.
When he kissed me, I squeezed my eyes shut. I was bathed in the most beautiful flickering golden light. For a second I was back in freshman year and the light of the setting sun was filtering down to the bottom of my best friend’s swimming pool. That was my first real kiss, in the deep end with the light twisting and bending all around us. It didn’t come close to this. Gerard was warm and he was summer, and I wanted to stay with him and watch the stars and listen to his stories. His lips moved in time with mine, his tongue filled my mouth. I heard him murmur something.
“Open your mouth for me,” he purred. I obeyed. He ruffled my hair and stuck his lollipop in my mouth.
“Tahnks,” I slurred.
He buried his face in my hair and inhaled deeply. My mind went blank.
“Are you sniffing me?”
“Dude,” he said, his voice muffled. “You smell like cookies.”
“I haven’t got any on me, don’t bother searching.” I said, squirming as his hands slid down my back. I'm really ticklish. He shook his head, sending shockwaves through me.
“No, you always smell like cookies, it’s awesome.” He grinned and kissed my hair. “You’re awesome.”
We peeled ourselves off each other. Ray and Bob had returned from their mission, pockets empty. “We might have a problem.”
“What is this problem?” Gerard asked evenly. I could tell the sugar high was over and he’d sobered up.
“The usual.” Ray pulled a stray candy wrapper out of his hair. “Our little Robin Hood shtick didn’t go over too well with the administration.” Mikey giggled from where he lay. But Gee’s perfect mouth tightened grimly. His hand darted out to hold mine. He knew there was something else coming. “We kind of...got caught. The vice-principal was walking by, and, well...” He winced. “Bryar did some pretty fast talking, and we got away. We’d all be sunk without him.”
“Bob,” Gee said in that same controlled tone, “did you give them your name?”
“Of course not, moron.”
“What name did you give?”
Bob swallowed hard. “Jason Bateman.”
Gerard and I looked at each other.
“Shit,” we both said simultaneously.
Well hello there! Sorry this took so long, but my school had a snow day and I finally got all my work done. Did you like it? I’ve decided I’m going to be a little mean and not update again until I have either 5 rates or 5 reviews ;) so if y’all could do that, I’ll update twice on MLK Jr. weekend no matter how late I have to stay up! And please feel free to tell me if you liked/hated specific things, certain lines, or what you want to happen next. I originally intended for this to be more of a choose-your-own-adventure fanfic than an oh-hey-here’s-what-I-wrote-and-it’s-set-in-stone type of deal. What’s going to happen between Gerard and Frankie? Is Jason coming back, and will there be others like him? Will Mikey get together with Casey? How can a divided community overcome prejudice? Let me know what you think! Many thanks and flowers to my most dedicated reviewers (i.e., the ones who review every chapter and are lovely people): TheSoundNA, TakeThisToMyGrave, DangerDays and Astroskull. You guys have a special place in my heart :) And all those green stripes on the story page are so fucking beautiful! 1200+ views in 18 days, omg! It’s gonna be a rollercoaster ride from here on out...hang on to your hats and R & R, my lovelies! Xo b_b