Ryan grabbed his favorite shirt and chucked it into his suitcase. He swept the room gathering his things and putting it into the various bags on his bed. He sighed as he looked at his things. He wasn’t sure he was making the right decision. He went to the bathroom to get his toothbrush. He tried to avoid his reflection in the mirror but I caught his eye and he just had to look. He looked a mess. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was all over the place. He went back to his room to find Brendon standing there with a confused look on his face.
“Why are you in here?” Ryan asked, glaring at Brendon.
“I don’t know.” Brendon said, guiltily.
“Get out.” Ryan’s words were harsh. Brendon felt a little scared.
“Ryan are you okay?”
“I’ll feel better when I’m gone.” He turned and carried on packing his things.
“What? We are you going? RYAN!” Brendon shouted. Ryan turned around and simply said,
“I’m leaving.” Brendon’s eyes opened in surprise.
“I can’t do it anymore.”
“I don’t understand…”
“That’s just it Brendon! You will NEVER understand.” He zipped up his suitcase and hauled it off the bed. He got his guitar and put it in its case. Brendon watched as Ryan frantically removed his books from the shelf. He stepped forward so he was closer to Ryan.
“Please don’t go.” He placed his hand on Ryan’s arm. Ryan was shocked by Brendon’s touch. His reflexes were quicker than his thoughts. He felt his palm connect with Brendon’s face. A moment later when he saw him crouched on the floor clutching his face, Ryan gasped. He wanted to see if Brendon was alright, but if he did that it’d be too hard for him to leave. He took his bags to the front door. He was about to open the door when he heard a voice come from behind him.
“Ryan, please don’t go. I…I…just stay.” Ryan turned around.
“Why Brendon? Why should I?” Brendon stood right in front of him.
“I just wanna…” he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Ryan’s. Momentarily confused, Ryan kissed him back. Brendon ended the kiss before he got carried away.
“Sorry, Ryan… I just wanted to know what it feels like.” Ryan didn’t respond. He was frozen. “Ryan? Please say something!” Ryan shook his head. He could feel the tears in his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I gotta go.” He whispered.
Brendon watched as Ryan opened the door and left. When the door shut, he sunk to the floor in tears. Why didn’t he say something before! Now Ryan had left and there was no chance of Brendon having what he wanted.
Ryan made his way to his car. Once he was inside, he broke down. Brendon had never let on that he liked him. Never. And now he had it was too late. It took him everything not to go back to Brendon. Ryan composed himself and drove into the night.
Brendon looked out of his curtains and saw Ryan crying in the car. He watched as Ryan bashed his head against the steering wheel. Even after Ryan had left, Brendon kept watching hoping he’d turn back.