Mikey's Christmas is a mind-fuck one
That was exactly how I felt when I got up on Christmas Day. I recalled dreaming that Gerard had gone out 'for a vacation', he'd told me to before leaving. I initially thought that was insane, especially in his condition, but his empty room proved me wrong. Oh so very wrong. It his me like cold and neon-coated brick wall. All the wardrobes were open, clothes littered the floor and I felt a feeling that could only be described as crushing descend upon me. He had actaully gone, I hadn't dreamt of his goodbye at all.
I went into panic. What the fuck was I meant to say to everyone? With him gone, people may well blame me for ditching them on one of the biggest calendar events of the year. I sank even more, I had wrapped Gerard's present while I waited for his return too. I was scared for him too, if he was still in bad shape and if he was even really sure of where he was headed. Besides, there were still many questions of last night's happenings. That's where my pessimissim really kicked in.
On the run even....? It could be true. I know Gerard is capable of violence, but I trusted he wouldn't feel like he had to do something so bad to someone.
And then Frank. I guessed he may well have gone along with it too. Hell, there was no maybe about it, Frank most definately had gone to. He's not the sort to sit and get left behind.
I went downstairs to see if anything was going on. Nothing, apart from Mom was stressing over some missing food or something.
"Mikey!! Did you steal from the cupboards? The house is a mess! On my day of the year too?!" I was about to open my mouth to answer but was cut off, "All those closets open too upstairs! It's so untidy! GERARD!!" She hollered in a shrill tone. She hates the house being the slightest bit messy when people are due around, and this year we expected something like 10 relatives to come over.
"Uhh Mom Gerard went out. For a couple days...." I trailed off, bracing myself for the inevitable lash-out to follow.
"What?! But, it's... It Christmas Day!" Well noticed then.
"Yeah to a motel or... Something. He said he just needed a vacation but he'll be back soon?" I scuffed the floor in guilt. I hate breaking bad news, or shocking news at that.
She repaeated the exclamation. "For Christmas!?" She repeated. "Where exactly...?" Mom narrowed her eyes.
"I have nothin' to do with it! I only know he went pretty quick, he promised he'd be back right away!" I backed off a little upon actaully seeing her eyes flash red, at least, it looked red from where I was.
She sighed and and covered her face with her hands, muttering about betrayal or something along those lines. Dad's jaw simply hung open, apparently he had nothing to say about it at the moment.
"Don't worry 'bout it Donna." He got up and as he did so, the doorbell went. "It's fine, concentrate on the day ahead..."
I went to the door and timidly opened it to an exasperated yet tirelessly raging Mr. Iero. Christ.
"Let me in..." He didn't bother trying to recall my name and pushed past, giving me an equally suspicious, dirty look. I followed him into the kitchen and stood by the door curiously. What did he have to say then?
"Where is my son? What has your kid done to him?"
"Frank? Oh..." Donald turned away in most likely, shame.
"Gerard has gone on vaction somewhere... Maybe Frank...?" Mom suggested carefully.
"No, no, no.... Your boy stormed into my house last night, threatened me too, asking for Frank. You had better find them before I do!"
That was all I needed to hear really. The conversation turned pretty nasty too, mainly on Mom and Frank's Dad's part. I sighed. Gerard could act so stupid sometimes and by the sounds of it had been pretty rough to his boyfriend's Dad. Well fucking done. I suddenly yearned for the truth and sense to all this 'last night' business. But I didn't want to think about it too hard until I knew everything I needed to.
Eventually, said rager left the house after about 45 mintues of arguing and subtle threats, almost knocking me out the way again. He seemed like such a freakin' hot head. He was probably the reason why Frank was over so often actaully. Or maybe why he was gone at the moment.
I just wish I had been more awake when Gerard had said goodbye so I could've put up more of a fight. I mean, I remember feebly pleading and hugging him and probably more but I'm not a great morning person, especially when I haven't slept well. He was there, with all those bags whispering to me kindly, smiling like he always did.
I wasn't looking forward to explaining to all the soon-to-arrive vistiors why Gerard was gone. I couldn't be bothered to even go into it as I wasn't sure of all the details myself. I wanted to disappear until I had my own shit together, let alone anyone elses.
Aunt Laura, Uncle Tim and thier three toddlers were the first to arrive. They aren't blood relatives, just Dad's best friends from his childhood so I've grown up calling them Aunt and Uncle. I usually get stuck with the kids. Last time I saw them they were just able to talk. I don't really mind but theyre a handful, still, pretty nice when they're behaving. This year though I'd be all alone on my childminding duty. They'd probably happily sit and watch a video for a while, then I could dig out some old toys if there were any left in good condition. Or any they wouldn't destroy.
We had to wait until Lorie and Tabatha, Mom's sisters, Marty and Charleen, Dad's distant relatives somehow and Harriet arrived until we could tear open all the presents in the living room. Between taking the rugrats away from any 'hazards' I just sat there while all the adults talked. They shot occasional glances at me, and yet none of them asked where Gerard was. Some of them looked a bit uncomfortable too for some reason. I stood right out, my khaki MC5 tee, baggy stonewash pants, heavy chunky trainers. One of the visitors said I didn't look Christmassy whatsoever. What was I supposed to wear, a short green and red dress and elf-hat? I knew it was small-talk. I never really dress up for Christmas. It's only a day with family anyways so there's no use bothering. Don;t get me wrong, I love Christmas but I don't see why girls decide to wear over the top dresses for it.
When Mom decided we should exchange all the presents, nicely wrapped and shiny, ready to be torn open, I felt really... Out of place. I knew everyone else didn't care about the weird nerdy teenager amongst the sweet little kids. I handed everyone thier things and managed to sneak out un-noticed. Mom spotted me at the last second. I mouthed 'shops' and was granted leave from the house, suprisingly enough.
I threw on a jacket and headed out. I never got used to being alone. Gerard seemed so far away since I didn't know where he could possibly be. I recalled him mentioning being 'under the same sky'. I smiled to myself, that was a totally G thing to say. It was true as well and I guess always will be. I passed Ray's house and no surprises, it was empty. He always went away for Christmas, I'm not sure where, but out of the state nonetheless. I should probably talk to Ray more often, I mean, I can, so why shouldn't I? I only have some loose friends at school, none that I speak to them like I speak to Ray. Ray's almost like your average big brother, as opposed to the one you feel bad about for some complicated reasons .....
I kicked around and it crossed my mind to just walk past Shane's block. If he was in I would be able to get away pretty fast, I'm a good runner when I'm in panic and it might clear up some of my suspicions about the dreaded night.
Evidently, something did happen there. The police cars said it all. 2 cars and one van were parked on the kerb, outside his modest block of flats. I could have easily shit myself. That almost certainly meant Gerard knew of what I had said to him. But worse, far worse, they had clashed, Shane was involved in the scene as suspected. No doubt they had some kind of fight. Gerard somehow knew where Frank had gone and had gone to get him back before something bad happened....? So Frank had gone to Shane's and it seems Gerard had been cut but managed to retrieve his love.
Gerard, angry, pissed off... That could only be a bad thing. I was petrified. On the run now seemed slightly more feesable.