Sent away to rehab by his concerned father, Gerard Way recounts the trials that lead him to pills and the bottle.
“Oh, God! Somebody send backup! I think I just found a dead kid!”
What? I’m not dead! I’m not dead! Am I?
“Mr. Way?” Aimee, the group leader snapped me out of my reverie. I slowly looked up from my shoes.
“Yes?” I asked avoiding her eyes.
“Would you like to share with the reason that you are here?” She patiently asked. I looked around the room, seeing nothing but kind faces, and smiled inside.
“It’s… um… It’s kinda embarrassing.” I whispered.
“Well, if you don’t want to share, you don’t have to, but I’ll give you a few more seconds to decide if you’d like to share.” Aimee said, looking around at the other patients.
“Well… you see… it all started when my mom died.” I began
“Gerard, where were you last night?” My mom demanded as I ran through the kitchen, hoping to avoid her on my way out the door. I stopped dead in my tracks.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, quickly deciding to play stupid.
“One more time, Gerard. Where… were… you?” She demanded. My heart began to pound faster, and faster. I was sure it would come flying out of my chest if I didn’t get out of there and fast.
“Um… at home?” I tried. She pounded her fists on the counter.
“God damn it, Gerard! How stupid do you think I am? I know you didn’t get home until after midnight, and I know where you were. And now you have the audacity to lie to me?! How dare you! How dare you!” she seethed. I tried to slowly make my way out of the kitchen, but she would have none of it. “Turn around and look at me when I am speaking to you! Now give me your cell phone.” She demanded. I spun around to face her.
“What?! Why?!” I asked as I slipped my hand into my pocket and tightly grasped it.
“Goddamn it Gerard, you fucked up, now accept the consequences!” she shouted as Mikey came down the stairs. I looked to him for help, but he only shrugged and walked over to the pantry to grab some breakfast.
“Gerard!” She shouted. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and threw it across the kitchen.
“Happy?” I asked as I heard the phone break into a million pieces.
“I want you home as soon as school is over.” She said as she disgustedly looked down and my mangled phone.
“Fuck you. You dumb bitch.” I said before I ran out the front door, tears streaming down my face in anger. I stood at the end of the driveway, kicking the mailbox and silently cursing my mother until Mikey came bouncing out the front door, laughing.
“You know mom’s crying, right?” Mikey asked. I shrugged my shoulders.
“She’ll probably take the television out of your room while we’re gone.” He said as we began our walk down to the bus stop. I shook my head.
“She’ll probably be too busy crying all day to even bother.” I confidently stated. At least I knew that the worst of my punishment was over.
“Excuse me, Gerard?” The girl next to me said. I looked up from my shoes.
“You said that it all started when your mom died?” She asked.
“Your mom is alive in your story, what relevance does it have?” She asked. I looked to Aimee for help.
“Helena, don’t interrupt.” Aimee quietly said. I smiled.
“Where was I?” I asked.
“You were confident that your punishment wouldn’t get any worse.” Aimee quietly said.
“Excuse me, ma’am. I don’t mean to interrupt your class, but is Gerard Way present?” The principal asked as he stepped into my third period art class. I looked up from my painting in terror. I didn’t have a clue what I could have done to get the principal to come into my class looking for me, so I knew that there was no way I could talk my way out of it.
“He’s right in the back, sir.” The teacher said.
“If you’ll put your things away and come with me, you won’t be returning to class today.” The principal said, looking my way. My hands shook and I could feel the bile rising in my throat as I rushed to put everything away.
“It’s okay; take your time, son.” He said as he watched me drop paint tube after paint tube.
“Sorry… S-sorry.” I whispered.
“Not a problem. Just take your time.” He said again. I finally just threw the tubes of paint into my bag uncapped. I threw my knapsack over my shoulder before tripping my way up to the principal.
“Slow down, son. Just take your time.” He said again. I looked at the floor, scared to speak, because I knew I would throw up if I did.
When we got out into the hallway, I was face to face with a police officer, and an equally as scared Mikey. The principal shook his head at the cop, who pulled Mikey and I aside and cleared his throat.
“I’m really sorry to be the one telling you this, but your mother died this morning…” He began. I could see his lips forming words, but I heard nothing. I could feel tears streaming down my face, but I don’t remember starting to cry. I remember screaming, but I don’t remember what. And before I even realized I was running, I was at home, searching through the house, to no avail, for my mother.
This fic is kinda a way that I created to work through my emotions that I still have about my mother dying. So this is what happened to me and my family almost 7 years ago. Exactly as I remember it.