Is a perfect world ever perfect? What would you do if eveything you knew was taken away from you?
This is a story my best friend Steven and I have had rolling around in our crazy minds for a few months now and we have finally decided to unleash it onto the world.
Special thanks to Britni, who encouraged me to drag Steven in front of a laptop and bring this story to life.
This story is for you darl xoxo
I rested my hands on top of my protruding stomach as I watched Billy scribbling away on the blank paper in front of him. A smile crept across my face as I felt the little one inside of me kick up against my hand. ‘What are you drawing sweetheart?’
‘It’s a duck mum. See?’ I looked over my sons shoulder and saw a big green duck staring back at me. ‘I drawed it for daddy. Do you think he will like it?’
‘I think he will love it sweetheart.’ I ruffled Billy’s hair and placed a kiss on his head as I walked back into the kitchen to check on dinner. As I got closer to the stove a searing pain ripped through my abdomen. A small scream escaped me as I clung onto the kitchen bench. With one arm wrapped around the bench and the other clutching my stomach I tried to reach for the phone, but my eyes began to glaze over and I couldn’t focus.
‘What’s wrong mummy?’
‘Mummy needs the phone Billy. Can you please find the phone for Mummy?’
I heard his soft footsteps run across the tiled floor as he went in search of the phone. My grip on the bench began to loosen as sweat filled my palms. My knees became weaker and I could no longer hold myself up. I felt the cool tiles against my skin as I made contact with the ground.
‘I gots it! Mummy?’ I heard Billy call out. I knew he was close, but I could no longer see anything.
‘Billy, Mummy needs Daddy.’ I could barely speak as I drifted in and out of consciousness. I needed to get to the hospital and I needed to get there fast. I began praying for Gerard to come home and find me and rush me to the hospital.
Suddenly, everything went black.
‘Mummy is on the floor. She has an owie on her tummy.’
I wanted to scream out for my son, but no sounds came out of my mouth. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I wanted to know who he was talking to. I opened my eyes but my vision was clouded. My eyelids were too heavy and everything went dark again.
A loud bang awoke me from my dark slumber. Heavy footsteps ran across the floor. I felt the vibration of each step travel through my body. ‘Holly! Can you hear me?’
The sound of my husband’s voice brought some comfort to my aching body. I felt his hand entwine into mine and his breath blow onto my cheek as he spoke. Once again I tried to speak but nothing came out.
‘Why is mummy sleeping on the floor?’
‘Billy, daddy needs you to go get mummy’s bag like we practiced. Can you do that for daddy?’
I wanted to get up from the floor. I wanted to wrap my arms around my little boy and tell him that everything was okay. I wanted to look into Gerard’s eyes and feel safe again.
‘Holly, the ambulance is on the way. You need to be strong. You need to stay strong for me, for you, for Billy and for the little one.’ I squeezed his hand as hard as I could to let him know that I understood. I felt his lips rest on my forehead before I lost all feeling again.
The next time I opened my eyes, all I could see was white. For a split second I thought I was dead, but then my eyes focused and I could see Gerard holding onto the precious bundle that I had been holding onto for the past nine months.
I opened my mouth to ask if the baby was okay, but nothing came out, instead tears rolled down my face.
‘Everything is okay. The baby is healthy. Ten fingers, ten toes and a tail.’
I looked at him and rolled my eyes, but a smile spread across my face. My smile quickly faded as I started to remember the events leading up to this moment. Gerard noticed my sudden change of expression. He reached down and grabbed my hand and smiled.
‘The doctor says that you will be fine. You had a sudden drop in blood pressure, which is what caused you to blackout. He says all you need is some bed rest and you can go home in a couple of days.’
I let go of Gerard’s hand and outstretched my arms to our tiny child he cradled in his. Gerard lent down and gently placed our baby onto my chest. I softly brushed the white blanket away from my child’s face and stared at the little angel who slept peacefully nestled in my arms. I didn’t notice Gerard slide into bed next to me until he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I turned and placed a kiss on his lips. As Gerard and I looked down in silence at our precious bundle of joy, I thought to myself, I finally have my perfect family.
‘It’s okay Cassie, everything will be fine. I’m not going to leave your side. I love you.’
‘I love you too Gerard, but who is Cassie?’
Gerard gave me a blank look as if he had no idea what I was talking about.
‘You just said it’s okay Cassie, everything will be fine. Who’s Cassie?’
‘I didn’t say anything sweetheart. I think you are exhausted and need some rest. I’ll go pick up Billy, so he can meet the little one and then you can get some sleep.’ I nodded in agreement and reluctantly let go of his hand as he left an empty space on the bed.
It felt like only a few minutes had passed since Gerard had left when I heard Billy calling out my name as he ran into the hospital room. ‘Mummy!’
‘Hi sweetie, I want you to meet someone.’ Gerard picked Billy up from the floor and sat him in his lap as he reclaimed his seat on the bed next to me. ‘Billy, say hello to your little sister, Willow.’
Billy peered down over my arm at his baby sister. He looked at her a little confused at first, but then a tiny smile swept across his face.
‘Come on Billy, say goodbye to Mummy and Willow. We need to go home and let them get some rest. We can come and visit them again tomorrow.’
Billy put his tiny arms around me and gave me a big hug. ‘Bye Mummy. Bye bye Willow.’ He jumped down off the bed as Gerard picked up Willow and put her into her crib to rest. Billy grabbed Gerard’s hand and they started to walk towards the door. As they walked out of the room, Gerard turned around and blew me a kiss. I smiled back with most of the energy I had and watched as they walked out of the room.
‘Wait Daddy, I have to give something to Mummy.’
Billy came rushing back into the room and stood next to the bed. He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded it. I looked down and saw the picture of the duck he had been drawing in the lounge room. ‘I drawed this for Willow.’
He lay the picture down on my chest and hurried out of the room back to where Gerard was waiting.
I looked down at the picture and then at my precious baby girl and smiled.
My perfect family.